Published on 12, July, 2020
I was interested by the post here about exclusions from school but then I saw you can’t reply to that post so I’ve made my own. I hope that was okay to do!
My experiences at school, both little and big school were terrible. From day one to be honest. I never adjusted to the ways of school life. When you think of school you think of a big place, lots of kids, lots of noises. A sensory overload. An autistic nightmare!
In theory what with timetables schools should be like a well oiled working machine. They should be organised. Mine was far from it. It was separated in to four big buildings, you went to different buildings for different lessons and that was confusing on its own made even more confusing and difficult because other kids used to steal my map.
At school I was famously known as the silent pale girl. I rarely spoke and when I did it was hardly audible. I kept my head down. I never mixed with the other kids. If I got really stressed I would either hurt myself or throw chairs. I realise this makes me sound like a little brat, a spoilt child but it wasn’t that. I was scared.
The teachers never understood. They hated me, never tried to help, just judged and gave me detentions for rudeness and on the times I flipped I was sent home. My mum and dad were the complete opposite.
They understood and supported me and got me professional support and help. This is what led to my ASD diagnosis which I will be forever grateful for.
My diagnosis even at the age of 13 changed my life forever for the better. For the first time I felt understood within myself. I knew why I was different. I knew why I couldn’t cope with some things. I knew why I had such a special interest in medicine, health and diseases. . .
At school I became known as psycho girl and after one too many meltdowns which involved throwing a chair, tipping a table and breaking my finger I was expelled. After that, and the school’s refusal to step in and try to help my mum decided she would home school me which helped me in lots of ways.
I thought I would share my experience so if you had the same you know you it wasn’t just you. I hope this is helpful to somebody and to the National Autistic Society as well.
History and geography teacher made me sit in front of the class and helped me. Turn back time would of been easier to have a support worker.
I’m so very sorry that you experienced this at school.
Frequently when people are different they are usually singled out. Being different shouldn’t be used against people but usually that’s the case and has been my experience, mostly when I was at school.
Surprisingly though I was bullied by the other kids, a lot of the time the teachers were as bad if not worse. Especially my Maths teacher. My Maths teacher always singled me out. She knew I had difficulty speaking and always made me stand up in front of everyone and answer questions. . . BUT. . . she knew I didn’t know the answers.
My P.E. teacher was just as bad. I used to ache because of the anxiety and he constantly made me run round the playing field, sometimes I refused and left but not always.
Don’t let these experiences ruin the rest of your life. For a long time I couldn’t get it out of my head and I felt bad for being different. But now, things are much different and improved for me. I embrace my differences.
I love being autistic and those who understand and are willing to give me a chance see that in me.