Published on 12, July, 2020
The past few days have been extremely difficult for me. I’ve had to listen to various family members using the R-word and talk negatively about autistic adults. It seems to slip their mind that I’m autistic and standing right in front of them.
I’m always filled with such sadness and hopelessness when this happens. I’ve said many times before that I don’t feel comfortable with the words they use but it never seems to change anything.
How does everyone else cope with this type of situation? Are my boundaries lacking? Am I too sensitive?
I'm sorry you're having to listen to that. It's not as bad as using the r word thankfully but I do feel the same level of lack of understanding from my family. I feel like a nuisance.
You're not too sensitive. Setting your own boundaries is likely a difficult thing for all of us, I struggle with it too.
The best thing I do at the moment is remove myself from the situation if I can. I've often considered getting an advocate because it requires too much mental energy to do it myself. Maybe that's an option?
I had a friend help me with a guide to share with my parents, that could be an option too?
I definitely need to work on my boundaries! I wish I could stand up for myself more but it never seems to make any difference, I’m also terrified of conflict. I love my family but they’re so difficult :(
Do you think that if you wrote things out for them it'd be easier or do you think they wouldn't listen?
I feel you on that struggle.
We will boost you up if you need it!