If you are thinking of leaving the forum ...

and yet autism involves a lot of polotics. Autistic rights is a political issue. And there is an interface between autistic rights and free speach.

but that's what happens isn't it when a sociaty decides to disengage with people who's view they don't like. It doesn't stop the hate. People split off into bubbles where everyone agrees with them and then start arguing against imaginary straw men whoes straw men hypothetical positions get more extreem. So the bubbles position gets more extreen in responce.

Let me make it very clear I'mnot expecting the end result of all this argument to be agreement. A harmonious meeting of minds. I'm expecting something much more humbel. Understanding, maybe a little respect. Supresing the debate won't quell the anger, it will just give it space to grow out of sight unchecked.

I believe Roy was speaking in general terms, or at least that is how I interpreted his "bear-baiting" comment.

During my time as a member of the NAS Community, I've realised just how common misunderstandings can be among members, and how easy it can be for things to get misinterpreted, and/or taken out of context.

Sometimes, it can be all too easy to fall into the trap of assuming we know what someone else means. Rather than asking for clarification, or taking the time to properly read and digest what other members have said, I think we can all be guilty at times of rushing in with a response...

I feel this is especially true when members post about topics that are deemed contentious. What one member considers to be a healthy debate can escalate and become heated. The Community Rules state that people may express views that we disagree with (or words to that effect).

I'm all for freedom of speech providing the Community Rules are followed, but if you have members with wildly opposing views, I feel this can be a problem when neither side is willing to back down and agree to disagree, and each side is determined to have the last word. 

Roy said SOME posts are almost 'bear bating', he said nothing about your posts GPK26

It’s a shame that you feel that my thread and posts have been “bear baiting”. That is something that was not the intention and I have stated that on many posts, but some people simple don’t get it.

As long as people continue to refer to that thread, I will continue to defend what I am being accused of.

I have already been proactive in contacting the site manager to request additional sub forums. That request was made before this all kicked off and unfortunately the request was declined.

Yes, I think any of us can inadvertently say something without considering or understanding the impact of those hearing or reading it. The key is to realise when we’ve done this, apologise and stop. None of us gains from upsetting other people pointlessly, especially on a forum designed for us to support each other.

I just wish certain could realise their words have caused distress and adjust accordingly instead of doubling down on it.

I think some posts are almost ‘bear bating’. I would also like to see an additional forum.

How brilliant is that!

We need a 'show your hedgehog house' thread!

I’ve always got a spare room if you need one. 

I can understand your argument but my experience is that most people just dig their heels in and hate “the other” even more.

In Scotland we had an independence referendums 9 years ago. The nationalists constantly attacked everyone else, called us traitors and quislings, told us we were “anti Scottish”, told us to leave Scotland and threatened all sorts of retribution after independence. Facebook, twitter etc became segmented into those for and against. Families fell out.

Nearly a decade later our social media and politics is still segmented this way. Everyone has blocked everyone from the “other side” and hears only the same old stuff from those that already agree with them.

So my experience is that sometimes people really need to just stop and listen and think, and perhaps say nothing at all.

I think my point was when I was a student I agreed they should just shut up. I may not have approved of the way the student union handled it but I broadly thought the people protesting should be told to shut up.

I now realise I was wrong. this conflict is needed. regular grinding of these gear teeth against each other stops things from getting too extreme. People hate conflict and arguments but it’s like medicine you may not enjoy it but it’s good for you and you need it.

it stops you from living in a bubble where you’ve become delusional about the way the world really is, where you come to believe that everyone who disagrees with you is a monster and an enemy. It helps stop you from becoming oversensitive and unable to separate people who disagree with you from people who hate you, unable to separate attacks on your opinions from attacks on you personally.

we need these conflicts these arguments because they are the vaccine against extremism and snowflake oversensitivity.

Hope you've got a good stash of nuts to see you through xxxx

Roy said:

I personally would really miss you

Thank you.

I would feel the same if you left.

Sporadic Sparkly said:

However, I would feel sad if you were to leave.

I would feel the same if you left too.

Sporadic Sparkly said:

If I think back to last year, public disagreements between members seemed to be considerably less frequent than they have been this year. I live in hope that this community can get back to how it used to be because it was (in my opinion) mostly fantastic. 

Yep.  I fully agree with this.

Thank you also to others for my kind PMs.

I've been offered some part-time accommodation in the garden so I've taken up the offer for now.

The present hedgehog shaped inhabitant said there's enough leaves for both of us.

Hi Debbie, I know I’m being selfish. I personally would really miss you. I do fully get how the site can sometimes become. I then weigh it up and think of how much positiveness I have seen here as well. A lot of us carry scars from our younger lives, they do always stay with us.  I tend not to get involved in triggering threads, hibernating seems to help me. I hope you are happy in whatever you decide but would love to see you stay.

Debbie, I appreciate that nobody can force you to stay here, and I do take on board what you have stated. However, I would feel sad if you were to leave. I know many others would too.

I am in agreement that the creation of additional forums is needed. As things stand, what one member may consider to be a healthy debate, can be an almighty trigger for another member and cause them to feel distressed.

If I think back to last year, public disagreements between members seemed to be considerably less frequent than they have been this year. I live in hope that this community can get back to how it used to be because it was (in my opinion) mostly fantastic. 

Today I'm considering whether to leave the forum.

When I was 1st diagnosed late in life (60) a year and a few months ago, this forum was a Godsend.

A really important place where I could learn and be supported and equally, give support to others.

At its best it's superb.

However, I do personally have difficulty when threads are made that offend me and I know others do too.

It isn't so simple as just not responding when these things act as a trigger for past traumas and fights you've had.

I've had quite a few fights in my life that have been long and hard and inequality bothers me - a lot.

There have been various threads and postings that simply do offend - including one with views pertaining to women set in aspic.

I do think that more could be done here with moderation, including an LGBTQ+ section as those types of threads have ended up locked due to conflict and also another section, as I suggested before, where other controversial ones could sit and people could try to avoid them.

Hopefully then those boundaries could be respected by others.

If I go, I just want to say a huge thanks to those friends I've made and for the huge fun that's been had here.

Also, if I do, I will post here to say and if people would like my private email address, I'll supply by PM.

I miss those that have already left - a lot 

I hope everyone has a good, trauma free Sunday 

I agree with you on the principle of free speech. However, this isn't a politics forum.  

I guess you could say in response " Well ,just don't click on anything you don't want to read".  And i guess without active moderation we are forced to take that attitude.

I'm on other forums where subject of politics is banned entirely.  It's a subject that causes discord. 

GPK26 said:

I'm finding the whole autistic thing about struggling with intention a bit of a challenge.

Yes...I very often am challenged by this too.  My cues/buttons seem different and I can readily be misdirected or I can miscalculate (but more normally over-calculate) someone's intentions.

It's tricky, but being both watchful and mindful helps me navigate.

My words speak for themselves. Any words you wish to add to them are your words rather than mine.

Former Member

Racism being spouted on here (or anywhere) is just not acceptable!
In fact it is something that has legal implications.
I am not aware of racist content being posted during my time here and I encourage you to escalate any incidents that you are aware of.

Now, if by any mere chance, you are implying that I am a racist and that I have posted racist content, then please let me know. I mean you said, and I quote "those people are now being contested" - I'm not sure who these people are that you are referring to.

Call me out if you truly believe that I have been "spouting racism", otherwise please stop with this rubbish.
I do hope that my interpretation of your post is not as you intended, but I cannot be sure unless you explicitly tell me.

You see, unlike those of "great intellect" that you refer to, I am a much simpler person and could really use your help in understanding exactly what you are implying. I'm finding the whole autistic thing about struggling with intention a bit of a challenge.