Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't know about others, but I'm getting a little concerned that the arguments will put off new members.
Quite often people join and then disappear quite quickly.
I've been involved in these myself on occasion, so I'm not innocent.
However, maybe the mods could create a section where these potentially contentious threads could be placed that had a heading like NSFW (a new one on me but it seems to be well known).
If a seemingly innocuous thread then turns into a constant argument, perhaps it could be moved to there.
It's sometimes interraction between older males and older females (or non binary etc) and comes down to very different relationship/*ex points of view but can of course stem from any subject and any set of contributors.
I think it happens more often than it once did, and I've not been here a year yet.
Just bumping this up as it's pertinent at the moment.
I hope that newer members don't leave.
Ree left because of the arguments at this time and I still miss them.
If things get too much for me here I become a hedgehog now and hibernate.
I did leave once and considered it a few times before, including recently, but hibernation gives you time to think.
This is an exceptionally good place to be most of the time.
This time of year is worse on all forums.
We don't like the change in weather or clocks changing
The pressure of upcoming festivities is looming
Half of us are probably in poverty and Don't know how to pay for Xmas
Kids have started new schools and parents are stressed
The government is encouraging bad behaviour (braverman)
And we are all sensitive and react to things while dysregulated.
I think you are onto something there, winter on the forums is a lot like a friday night on a full moon for A & E.Seasonal Affective Disorder ( or whatever it's called ) runs riot with folks moods this time of year even if they haven't got other stresses too.I joined in the last winter and took the negative-fest as par for the course but then I noticed folks got on with a lot more productive - and friendlier chats in the summer. Seems like it's a cycle.Doesn't seem to help that a lot of folk here don't seem to enjoy xmas or have much irl company (I'm odd that way as I enjoy both) so it seems they haven't got anything especially to look forward to just being cold and lonely, can easily imagine that has a negative effect on their mental health and then they only have here and a few other places online to offload the foul mood.We're really not all THAT miserable a bunch of gits. Just seems like a portion of us just turn that way, but they'll be back to normal next summer.
Ah yes I myself am AuDHD with OCD, CPTSD, and PDA, it's a tough life. But I find it helps to read a thing then go away and consider it over a cup of tea before I start typing a response if I feel especially prickly about it. And if it wasn't all that big of a deal to still be thinking on it after-all when the mug is empty the ADHD has usually moved me onto something else instead and saved me the bother of reacting in my experience lol. At least I can think what I'd like to type and phrase when I'm having the cup of tea so that helps either way.
I'm one of the miserable gits, I'm just acutely aware of how my behaviour impacts others. My last psych said I was far more aware than most people she'd seen. That's a mixed blessing I can tell you! I know I'm being annoying/difficult but can't seem to stop the impulsive dysregulated reactions. I guess that's the joys of my PDA/ADHD/cptsd screwed brain.
Those of us in pain also hurt more when it gets cold and going out gets harder so we mix less and are stuck with our own thoughts more. Personally I never find being alone with my thoughts a good thing for my mood.