Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't know about others, but I'm getting a little concerned that the arguments will put off new members.
Quite often people join and then disappear quite quickly.
I've been involved in these myself on occasion, so I'm not innocent.
However, maybe the mods could create a section where these potentially contentious threads could be placed that had a heading like NSFW (a new one on me but it seems to be well known).
If a seemingly innocuous thread then turns into a constant argument, perhaps it could be moved to there.
It's sometimes interraction between older males and older females (or non binary etc) and comes down to very different relationship/*ex points of view but can of course stem from any subject and any set of contributors.
I think it happens more often than it once did, and I've not been here a year yet.
I've come close to leaving several times because frankly, these arguments usually happen around matters of sex or whether something is 'woke', and I inevitably feel like some people aren't safe to speak to about those topics. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt because as autistic folks we can easily be misunderstood even by each other, but there have been things said in these conversations that are hugely insensitive to people's lived experiences and it makes me really uncomfortable about sharing my own.
I don't think insensitive is the correct phrasing, but yes despite rules there are a few repeat offenders that don't think or didn't think those rules apply to them and it creates a toxic and harmful environment.People use the word accuse a lot, but say-so is one thing and proof is another. At the end of the day everyone has access to the community manager email to point out rule breaks and to tag mods on volatile posts, and if they feel rules have been broken should use those feautures as they are intended.If people feel they have been slandered they should report it, and let it go in to the hands of the mods, because it this point it's becoming a paradox that people are accusing people of making accusations and seldom with substantiative proof, which if it exists should be taken to the mods rather than perpetuating the cycle of bad vibes.
I really like reading your comments and your contribution here in general. I'm really sorry that I've been a part of what eventually made you feel uncomfortable. I really hope that you won't leave the community because of that!.
Insensitivity is not the worst thing perpetrated on threads like this, believe me.