Published on 12, July, 2020
With the summer being here again, I'm a little sad about the fact that I can't enjoy all the cultural events or festivals that usually often happen in this season. People seem to be very excited about it, but the crowds and the loudness aren't something I can handle often. My friends want to be in what sounds like a blast of fun and creativity and art but it's for several days away from where I live so I can't just go there and back home whenever I want.
Do you join these events at all? Is there a plan, strategy or things that help you enjoy or survive them?
I think something funny happens when I'm in crowds AND I'm having fun/kept distracted. The autistic me hates it, but the ADHD me loves it, so it comes down to how many spoons I have in the bank as to which one is in charge of how I feel overall.I sometimes feel like I should offer myself up to have my brain waves measured to see if there is an clear switch in dominance bewteen those two. I also sometimes think I should but my brain on a donor card for research after I die, but I'm scred it would be used for nefarious purposes nothing as neutral as just understanding neurodivergence better, or as positive as using research from it to improve the quality of life for other neurodivergent folks. But that's a sidetrack and I feel I have to rein it in. I think the best strategy is blocking out the excess like wearing headphones between going on rides so I don't need to hear anything too loud when I really don't have to. Fidgets on keyrings are good because they are very casual to add to belt loops or bag zips for public stimming. If it gets too much though a thing that works is (although I dunno if this works for me only because I'm also ADHD or not) getting back into the distracted mindset, because if I start panicing or spiraling into being overwhelmed and then to meltdown I think the OCD effectively doubles the anxiety effect so if I start hyperfocussing on all the bad stuff when I'm already generally overwhelmed it's like finding a fire and pouring petrol on it. I go 0 to melt down very quickly like:0_1_2_3_4_5_6_7_8_9_10_⊗ Where anything after 5 can be the point of no return.So it sounds weird but I first have to try force out of the OCD spiral to let ADHD take the hand of autism just long enough that I can start a grounding technique searching for stuff visually (traffic light technique because if I can't get out of the "tunnel of doom" nothing anybody else can do let alone myself can snap me out of that fast track to a meltdown.But the traffic light technique is something I do if my meltdown trigger is a panic attack. If it's not panic and instead generally getting overwhelmed I got to the nearest stim. Audio, visual, motion, anything, to snap me back to a better function mode, then I have to decide whether I am good to go again or if I need to take a longer break or actually leave.
Not focusing on the bad stuff when I already feel overwhelmed. What a great advice. When I'm overwhelmed it's like all the bad memories or stuff make a group and join my tired brain for a chat and convince it that my life is such a waste of time. It makes me laugh when I think about it because I can imagine all those bad stuff as very chill bunch of careless pals with big 2 litres bottles of coke and a bag of salty snacks just sitting in a messy living room while my brain has its face in its hands and holding the tears back while they make fun and jokes about how its life is such a pitty. Very dark image but yes, when I'm overwhelmed it's like an invitation for all those chill pals to join the party. It's actually a very good advice here. Not sure how to prevent them from escalating the situation from 5 to 10 tho.. I'll experiment with it.
Exactly, it's also important to allow yourself to take a break or leave altogether if you need to.
Yes, also very good point. Keep the energy at a level that can get yourself out of a doom spiral if a doom spiral started. Kind of keep a minimum energy level, which is higher than the actual minimum, and try to recharge to keep that the energy higher than that level at all time.
Oh I should really put a disclaimer btw because we hyperfocus as both an autistic and ADHD trait, it's not easy by any means to just derail the doom spiral, it takes a lot of effort to force the focus elsewhwere so depending on how much energy you have left to do it, it is not guaranteed to work all the time.Like when people say "calm down" when you are upset as if that magically makes you calm down, "just refocus" is not a magic fix in the moment, trying to CBT myself is a skill I had to get better at over many years.