What advice would you give to your younger self?

I was quite stubborn when I was younger, so it's debatable whether I would have listened to my own advice.

Similar to Desmond, I suppose my advice would be to have no expectations.

Martin said:

All the occasions you thought were 'make or break' and worried yourself sick over, were not

I like that!

My really big one is I wish I was less of a 'people pleaser', less complian

Same. I think mine would be to care less what people thought of me. Also to not follow the crowd and take time to figure out who I was. I got myself into some really stupid situations following the crowd

Mainly I wish I had known I was autistic, it would have made everything make sense

However I beleive God has a plan for everyones life and I think I am right where I was meant to end up now 

Gosh that is a big question!

My advice would be along the lines of 'to thy own self be true'. I wish I had acted out more, been less timid, expressed my autism more. 

Thanks  

Though you never know what’s in someone’s past. I remember the amazing and deeply principled Christopher Eccleston saying in an interview how he was briefly a bully at school and he got very upset remembering it because he felt so awful about it - the guilt through his whole adult life. https://youtu.be/JVNLDB6VDQ4

Have to laugh at Piers Morgan here sounding surprised that you’d ever apologise! 

My advice to myself is, it’s okay to be different and it’s okay not to be okay.

That’s a great one. It can cost you dear though. I just became estranged from a loved one over it. Exercised my right to follow my own moral compass on something (not participated in a requested collective ghosting of someone) and they exploded at me and will hold a grudge for the rest of their life. Sad but when you’ve done what your own heart tells you is right (do unto others…) there’s some peace in that despite the cost. 

'Bully' is not a word that could ever be associated with you Shardovan. I'd be interested to see what my life would be like had things been different. It couldn't be any worse. There are things I wish I did differently. What could have been...

Just realised this makes it sound like I was a bully when I was a kid or something! Very much the opposite, just for clarity. I suppose the advice should be something more related to changing something you were actually doing then. But then, without everything being exactly how it has been over a lifetime… who would we be? Im just glad to be here now, having figured stuff out about how I be always been at the time I most needed the information. The right time. 

To do things for yourself rather than for others. Don't do things to please people.

Another people pleaser here Debbie. These events in our life shape us in to who we become.

Learning to say no and not being a people pleaser is defo a good one.  I think my others before I overthink it too much would be:

Don't be afraid of being different.
Take a gamble on that business idea/job opportunity.
Never buy a house with someone on a 2nd+ chance.

‘Never be cruel or cowardly. And if you are, always make amends’ I may have nicked that from somewhere. 
 
Also, always admit when you’ve nicked something. If it’s clever they’ll spot it instantly anyway. Seeing as it’s you. 

i dunno, i believe everything i did was the right choice in the moment. id have done nothing different even if i had told my younger self. my actions were in the moment and based on feelings of what felt correct. and i never really had anyone in my life to interact much with aside from my parents and i did what i wanted rather than what they demanded so i lived fully by my own influence and ideals.

if i did go back in time and tell my younger self something id probably expect my younger self to ignore it and maybe resist and do the opposite lol probably wouldnt be able to contact my isolated younger self if i went back anyway and id ignore this weird stranger trying to speak to me. too inward focused to be reachable.

id suggest doing martial arts earlier. but maybe that wouldnt be right... because if i forced myself to do it too early before i naturally went for it and felt appropriate then it may instead cut my time short in it, put me off or maybe i wouldnt throw myself into it with as much passion and motivation as i did when i naturally took it up.... everything you do you do at the right time. any earlier your not in the right place for it to make it stick or have as good a effect.

General advice or specific advice? The following advice is stuff I got wrong and regret, at the end is some stuff I think worked out better, some of which I wish I'd found sooner. This is a good topic, which I have considered many times, whether in the form of what would I do differently if I had another go, or what would I write to myself if I could send back a letter through time, but I have tried to make it more generally relevant.

Drink more water. Warm up before exercise. Clean your teeth every night. Don't give up on God. Try to avoid burnout (do try the fun thing but don't feel obliged to stick to it if it's not fun any more and is taking more of your time and energy than you can spare it).

Buy that really cool bike! (But when making a big purchase don't impulse buy but check it is actually a good option - dodgy harp I'm thinking of you!) Some things can be put off, other things it's really better to not put them off. You can pause studies without having to drop out!

Don't be embarrassed to ask for help even for stuff you think you ought to be able to do (better to admit you have forgotten how to do long division (because after all it was quite a few years ago and calculators are a thing) than to fail maths A level by feeling ashamed to not be able to do something you were taught as a small child!)

Sometimes the thing you think is the right thing to do might not be the best thing to do. Giving up is sometimes the right thing to do, changing course is sometimes a good plan. Don't ride a long way on the back of a motorbike in winter without windproof clothing!

It's not a mad idea to follow that obscure hyper-nerdy dream, it might just be the best idea you ever had! It might not, but at least check it out, you never know what might be possible.

How much younger? If I could give advice to me from a decade or so ago (apart from that many of my problems were actually neurodiversity go check it out) it would include just because you can afford the thing and like the thing and want the thing is it really actually a good idea to buy so much of it?! (Hint, future you has to deal with all that stuff now!) Sometimes quality is better than quantity, if you must but Victorian clothes from ebay maybe get a few of the more interesting things that cost a bit more rather than fifty trillion cheap things! Also keeping things in sealed bags might deter moths (not always!) so if you open the bag of wool or alpaca and can't close it, get someone to close it for you!

It's never too late to find God, he's not hiding, he wants you to find him! Try to eat healthy meals most of the time but enjoy the occasional treat. Try to find out about how to access the special dentist, before you are in crisis. Even if you are disabled there are some really cool forms of exercise available if you go looking, and charities that help with it, so don't assume you can't exercise and just be miserable about it and sit around getting more ill, exercise really is good for your mental and physical health. And you don't actually know what gym stuff you can use if you don't try.

This isn't everything but it's getting long so I shall finish with one more bit of advice - you don't have to finish it all in one go! I could come back and add more things, but it isn't the end of the world if I don't, sometimes it is better to do half a job than none, or make a start and rest. So whether or not I add to this, I hope it helps someone!

I definitely had a period in my life (my childhood/adolescence was... Difficult) where I took care of others and cared more about others than I did myself. At some point I lost myself and my self confidence and self trust in the process. There were a lot of things that were outside of my control but some bad situations that, with a bit of advice or guidance, may have been avoided. 

I would advise myself that I have no obligation to stay in situations that cause me hurt or discomfort. That not everything is my fault, even if it feels like it (or in some cases I am told it is). Finally, that once proper adulthood comes, and with that more freedom and autonomy, things do get so much better. 

I'm glad to be in a much better place now. 

It is not a problem to fail at things occasionally, even the things you think you are good at.

Despite appearances to the contrary, teachers are human beings. They might even be open to reasoning with.

All the occasions you thought were 'make or break' and worried yourself sick over, were not.

Don't live for others, live for yourself 

You can do anything. The only thing that holds you back is YOU

Talk to your parents. They are your best friends

Really wish I had done that last one more and realised it at the time

Have no expectations.

Expectations lead to resentment and anger. We live in a corrupt world, that's the reality of it.

Distance yourself from the Maelstrom.