Published on 12, July, 2020
Unless it’s because I’m male or something. I certainly seem to have been discriminated against.
In 2019, people made false accusations about me and got me kicked out of a netball club in Stirling.
I tried to find another netball club, but the netball clubs I contacted were all reluctant to tell me anything about themselves, and when I asked further questions about them they just stopped replying or whatever. I also contacted the netball club in Stirling about rejoining, because their constitution says I can ask to rejoin at the next general meeting. They ignored me.
I contacted Netball Scotland, and asked them to investigate why I was being treated the way I was by these 4 netball clubs, and was told they’d investigate it.
I turned up at 1 of the netball clubs (they’d told me they weren’t playing because of the Covid 19 pandemic, and they’d tell me when they started playing again, but never did tell me), and played netball with them anyway. I literally only played there 6 times before they found an excuse to get me suspended by Netball Scotland!
In September 2022, I had the police at my flat, saying that I’d contacted someone at netball saying I need some new friends, and asking me not to contact her again. Then the next day, I got an e-mail saying I’d been suspended from Netball Scotland. They didn’t even say anything about why!
Eventually I found out that the reason I was suspended was, among other things, that I’d allegedly “communicated with a club member, Christina [surname removed by mod], that was uninvited and persistent which placed her in a state of fear and alarm”. I’d sent her 1 message on facebook, she’d replied, and then I replied to her message; and I’d only asked perfectly normal things like “How long have you been playing netball?” and “Where do you live?”
1 of the other reasons for the suspension was that I’d chased Natalie up about her investigation about netball clubs not wanting me to join. I’d supposedly failed to show her respect.
This post’s getting a bit long, so to cut a long story short, I had a hearing in March 2023 about it. And all the complaints against me were upheld, and I’ve been suspended by Netball Scotland for 5 years!
They haven’t answered any of my questions such as “What’s wrong with being friendly?” or “What’s wrong with doing to others what I would have them do to me?” or “What’s wrong with asking Natalie to do her job?”.
What happened at Stirling was brought up to demonstrate a “pattern of behaviour”, but nobody even told me what this pattern of behaviour was. The accusations there were completely different.
I’d put a complaint in about Natalie not having done anything about her investigation. Is this the real reason I’ve been suspended?
Oh 2 other questions that have never been answered are “Would I have had the same reaction to contacting Christina if I was a woman?” and “Would I have had the same reaction to contacting Christina if I didn’t have Asperger’s syndrome?”
So I seem to have been discriminated against.
well I'd personally say no one should add their boss on facebook. But the post seems to indicate this is a club member he was communicating with socially not professionally. If she didn't want to be his friend she shouldn't have added him on facebook just because they go to the same club. That said since she did it's reasonable for him to think he was communicating with a friend.
he might know her due to netball, as in a hobby interest and work relationship. No one should message their boss asking where they live even if they are friends on facebook. This is the same sort of think she is an acquaintance rather than a friend
most people can't even be messaged unless you are on their friends list, and most people won't put you on their friends list unless they've met you in person. So what's the difference. If he could have asked her in person it's not like he's a random individual who's just messaged her out of the blue.
It is the context, she was asked on facebook, that would raise alarm in me if someone did this I would block them. I would be concerned. The people in your church that is different and in a different context
Astrid said:How long have you been playing netball?” and “Where do you live?” would cause alarm to a person.
Why would asking some one how long they'd been playing netball alarm them? Also tbh where do you live is a question I've been asked at my local church a number of times by strangers. They're not asking, generally, for my address. They want to know what part of the city I'm from or even if I'm from another city. That's a perfectly normal question.
Mark said:I’d only asked perfectly normal things like “How long have you been playing netball?” and “Where do you live?”
This might have really worried her. I know you probably meant "what part of town" or something similar, and you weren't expecting an exact address, but women often have to be really careful about their safety. We can't tell just from chatting to someone briefly whether he's asking a general question or asking for details, especially online, and so we would rather not answer the question at all.
How long have you been playing netball?” and “Where do you live?” would cause alarm to a person.
Asking someone where they live, that gives someone the impression that you would turn up at their doorstep, that is what people would think getting a question like that. They have not understood your condition and that you think that you were being friendly. It would be good for you to see a counsellor as soon as possible, to help you understand why that was frightening to her. This will help you not repeat that error again with other people.
Why not phone the Autistic Scotland line for help and advice as well as perhaps a recommendation for a counsellor who knows about your condition? Work out with the counsellor what happened and they will advice you so you can find out if any discrimination actually took place.
If you have emails etc and a screen shot of your communication on facebook.
You should not, however contact someone on facebook that you are not friends with, unless it is a company, as people do not like being looked up and contacted in that way, as their facebook is for their private use and not for a company or club use. Without knowing the full story it is difficult to see what happened, so if I were you I would reach out to a qualified counsellor first who will be able to tell you if you were discriminated against, or if you unintentionally did message too much etc.
In the meantime do not contact any of the net ball teams.
I see you live in Stirling, there is a law clinic at Strathclyde University contact them: University of Strathclyde Law Clinic – Providing Access to Justice in Glasgow and the Surrounding Areas
They are very helpful.
It might be best to do two things:
1) Speak to a counsellor who specialises in Autism and Asperger's, so that you can fully discuss the situation and find out if you did do something that Neurotypicals find upsetting. This will help you if you think you have a case in discrimination, as the counsellor can tell you if they think you have faced some sort of discrimination.
2) contact the citizens advice or if you have a local disability rights centre then that would be even better. There a law clinics at universities that might be able to help you and give you representation.
Have you considered talking to a lawyer? Also this site is more set up for English law but it may be of interest to you. areyoualien.uk/resources.html