Published on 12, July, 2020
Unless it’s because I’m male or something. I certainly seem to have been discriminated against.
In 2019, people made false accusations about me and got me kicked out of a netball club in Stirling.
I tried to find another netball club, but the netball clubs I contacted were all reluctant to tell me anything about themselves, and when I asked further questions about them they just stopped replying or whatever. I also contacted the netball club in Stirling about rejoining, because their constitution says I can ask to rejoin at the next general meeting. They ignored me.
I contacted Netball Scotland, and asked them to investigate why I was being treated the way I was by these 4 netball clubs, and was told they’d investigate it.
I turned up at 1 of the netball clubs (they’d told me they weren’t playing because of the Covid 19 pandemic, and they’d tell me when they started playing again, but never did tell me), and played netball with them anyway. I literally only played there 6 times before they found an excuse to get me suspended by Netball Scotland!
In September 2022, I had the police at my flat, saying that I’d contacted someone at netball saying I need some new friends, and asking me not to contact her again. Then the next day, I got an e-mail saying I’d been suspended from Netball Scotland. They didn’t even say anything about why!
Eventually I found out that the reason I was suspended was, among other things, that I’d allegedly “communicated with a club member, Christina [surname removed by mod], that was uninvited and persistent which placed her in a state of fear and alarm”. I’d sent her 1 message on facebook, she’d replied, and then I replied to her message; and I’d only asked perfectly normal things like “How long have you been playing netball?” and “Where do you live?”
1 of the other reasons for the suspension was that I’d chased Natalie up about her investigation about netball clubs not wanting me to join. I’d supposedly failed to show her respect.
This post’s getting a bit long, so to cut a long story short, I had a hearing in March 2023 about it. And all the complaints against me were upheld, and I’ve been suspended by Netball Scotland for 5 years!
They haven’t answered any of my questions such as “What’s wrong with being friendly?” or “What’s wrong with doing to others what I would have them do to me?” or “What’s wrong with asking Natalie to do her job?”.
What happened at Stirling was brought up to demonstrate a “pattern of behaviour”, but nobody even told me what this pattern of behaviour was. The accusations there were completely different.
I’d put a complaint in about Natalie not having done anything about her investigation. Is this the real reason I’ve been suspended?
Oh 2 other questions that have never been answered are “Would I have had the same reaction to contacting Christina if I was a woman?” and “Would I have had the same reaction to contacting Christina if I didn’t have Asperger’s syndrome?”
So I seem to have been discriminated against.
Incel at its most basic means involuntarily celibate. Beyond that the word has been used as a self-descriptor by extremists who are resentful about not being allowed access to the bodies of people they consider sexually attractive. Such extremists have carried out mass shootings after being radicalised by the kind of right-to-sex ideology that's common on this forum.
If you're celibate and doing everything you can do stay that way because you don't ever want to be forced into sex again (like me), you don't meet the "involuntary" part of the definition.
I mean anyone can label anyone else anything. but by definition someone who is celibate but doesn’t wish to have sex is not an incel.
Think of it this way. There are two ways for a woman to stop a heterosexual man being an Incel. The first is to simply have sex with him. The second is to offer him sex and have him refuse it. In which case he is either no longer celibate or no longer involuntarily celibate.
so then what your saying is that its a self identification label, and people such as hp here cannot just label others as incels/femcels like he/she/they does? lol
Regarding mixed sex sport my feeling has always been if you’re small enough not to be able to have 2 single sex teams 1 for both ssex’s. then you’re small enough for a mixEd sex team not to be a big issue.
I know one obstacle to this is lots of umbrella organisations do not permit mixed sex teams. My personal opinion is that we simply shouldn’t let them. I’m not persuaded the exemptions in discrimination law for single sex team sports need to be as strong as they are. I would say if you’re not large enough to have two separate gender teams then you should have to justify why you can’t have a mix ssex team and any organisation that prevents you from doing so should have to justify why this shouldn’t be allowed.
The original post makes me feel two things. Very opposite from one another. 1. Deep sadness and empathy for the hurt feelings and loneliness that go with an (atypical? I don’t know about sport) interest or passion not being accommodated by a ‘closed shop’ or clique that won’t extend the hand of welcome and friendship. It sounds lonely and upsetting. 2. Deep concern for those women who were scared enough to call the police. Intended or not, something went way too far over the line there. Astrid’s suggestions sound most helpful to me: counselling to better understand boundaries (I stress about those all the time and may even be over-cautious just to be sure, but it shows that autistic people can have less intuitive or innate grasp of them) and good advice from formal third parties so he knows his rights and responsibilities and can balance those going forward.
Caelus said:yeah but all incels/femcels would say they are saving themselves or they chose to not have sex... it would be widely used as a excuse.
No people who label them selves as incel / femcel are explicitly saying they want sex and are upset they can’t get it.
part of the definition of being an incel is wanting sex.
That's a hurtful thing to say to a victim of violent abuse.
yeah but all incels/femcels would say they are saving themselves or they chose to not have sex... it would be widely used as a excuse.plus it doesnt really fit misogyny as a incel would desire sex with a woman and if anything a incel would be the type to take a womans side in hopes for sexual favour. if anything a incel would instead be paired with the term "simp" and would take a womans side on anything regardless if they know they are wrong.for hate of women, the term "gay" would probably fit most wouldnt it? ... but then we see the problem with that... and then we see the problem with hps argument of using sexuality as a derogatory insult as when you break it down you see it this way and you see how they had to wrongly use a term that doesnt fit because the correct term they wanted to use was politically incorrect but then we see that is the term they likely would have meant then but was too cowardly to use the correct term they meant for fear of bad optics.
Incel is a contraction of involuntarily celibate. It’s largely used as a slur against sexless typically Hetro men.
however the term femcel also exists.
A person volenterly refusing all forms off sex can’t be an incel.
to be fair, isnt incel a derogatory attack against lgbt?also didnt you claim to be asexual? .... asexual is basically incel... so i dont get your logic... you also claim to fear sex and claim it hurts... you dont have any leg to stand on if you use the attack "incel" as a foundation because by all what you have claimed you yourself are a incel.
Don’t be absurd. I’ll be the Incel that gets on TV for building a harem of sexy robot waifus like the proper mad scientist I am.
Stepford wives anyone? (disclaimer I’ve never actually seen the film Stepford wives)
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Some of the members of this forum could do with referral to Prevent. I keep expecting to turn on the TV and see another incel shooting by a member here.
After some considerable time and efforts to socially engage in my town, I now realise what a pariah I truly am. I regularly get snubbed so I have great empathy with your experience. You obviously attach great importance to circumstances not necessarily through your own creation. I think you need to be very honest with yourself. I realise my conversational skills are somewhat lacking. I am not a good verbal communicator and have always preferred the written word. I've tried many times to engage with groups unsucessfully. For this reason, I had acquired a manual skills set that allowed me solitary positions of employment on a shop floor level that rarely required my participation as a team player. Yes, I was usually missunderstood and viewed as a snob, but that was/is a viewpoint I must endure. School children often single out a child who does not fit in. You would assume adults to be above that sort of exclusion behaviour especially so in view of all this woke and PC nonsense but I have found it must be me. I seek no sympathy and accept my condition. Sombody has to be a pariah!
For what it’s worth, if the op (Mark) is willing to share what happens next in the story I would be very curious to know. Have a long-standing interest in legal action over discrimination against autistic people. There are so few examples in the literature of action taken against service providers by autistic people that any case study is really interesting to me even if it never actually goes to a verdict.
but yet i was speaking out against sexism.... you saying im sexist for speaking for mens rights and men being wrongly accused shows that YOU are infact being misandrist.... in that case i now ask for a investigation against your misandry as i believe you are against the rules now as misandry is sexist and you just exposed yourself as a misandrist and broke your own rules
In fairness to him I don’t think it’s sexist to assert that there is a double standard when it comes to the way accusations of harassment against men are handled vs accusations of harassment against women.
I do think it’s a stretch to say thE accusation was probably false but that might be his sincere assessment of the facts we’ve been given rather than him merely asserting a sexist stereotype.
Hi,
This is a reminder of our rule 5. We do not allow sexism on the online community.
You can read our rules in full here https://community.autism.org.uk/p/rules
If you have any questions about this, please contact our moderation team at community.moderators@nas.org.uk
Kind regards,
Clare Mod
I will say that even though it might be different if you contacted Christina if you were a woman and you didn't have Asperger's syndrome, I have been bullied before. It could have been the same tough even if you were a woman. But to not let you play netball for five years because of what you did, that is crazy. And I am sorry that happened to you. Some people just over react sometimes. It is hard, I also have Asperger's syndrome. Once again I am truly sorry for what happened, I do hope your case does come up for your benefit.
Well it sounds like the final desision to ban him from umbrella organisation was taken in March 2023. So that decision at least is definitely within the six month limit.
also if his autism wasn’t properly addressed in the first instance in the investigation there is a decent chance he can request that it be re-investigated as a form of a reasonable adjustment for his autism. In which case what you would bring the case about would not be the original investigation but the refusal to re-investigate as a reasonable adjustment which again would be something that would’ve happened quite recently.
#notlegaladvice