Published on 12, July, 2020
Well well.. a very important topic for me.
How to name a feeling is a huge struggle. I could describe myself as a colour blind person who is looking at a very long colour palette. My emotions and feelings are the hundreds of colours in the palette and I'm the person who can't see more than blue, red and yellow and hundreds of shades of grey. Although I'm very sensitive and I know that my emotional landscape is very rich (hundreds of hues in my palette), I can't always name my feeling (recognise the hue for what it is), therefore I don't know how to manage it. An example, although I felt anxious in many situations in my life, I've never knew that this feeling is anxiety until last therapy session when my therapist said "when you feel anxious it's good to think of ...." And I was like "wait a minute, is this what I just described to her now (racing thoughts, restlessness, stomach pain..) is called anxiety? Wow, I finally have a name for this feeling!".. even tho I don't consider names as useful info at all, when it comes to feelings, I think it's important to name them in order to memorize it easily and research how to manage it.
Question here is, is there a book, therapy, technique or anything that would help me recognise and name my feelings? Also, am I now describing Alexithymia? I tend to really relate to others and it sort of feels like I could recognise how others feel more than myself..
I just thought of this idea. Perhaps you don't necessarily need to describe your feelings in emotions like NTs do. Instead, you can create your own system. When you start noticing feelings, write them down in a journal. I use Google Keep which is always accessible on my phone. Keep track of how you are feeling in your own words, but also keep track of events the occurred previously in the day. After a while, you might start to notice patterns, and this can help you become more aware of yourself and needs so you can adjust accordingly. If you want to label them as emotions, once you find your patterns, discuss them with someone you trust or a therapist, and maybe you guys can come up with some shirthand labels for the complexity of your feelings for the sake of communication or simplicity.
When I was a child and later a teenager, whenever I had a strong feeling that I couldn't describe, I found myself writing a short story about imaginary creatures in some state or situation. Those creatures in those situations felt as I felt at the moment. I remember feeling something positive not very long ago, even tho I couldn't tell what was the exact feeling, I could imagine that it feels like a bird in the moment of taking off to fly from a high top. I'm still not sure if it was happiness, hopefulness, lightness or adventurous or excitement or what that feeling was, but I could only think of a bird looking ahead to a valley while spreading wings and making the small jump. Sometimes, I used to write letters to entities that didn't exist or a discussion between many about a topic.. I think that you might be right, I should stop trying to express myself in the expected way and just find my way to do it.