How did your friends react when you told them about your autism?

I've had a similar range, between colleagues ,friends, and family:

Family: Mostly pretty chatty about it, on several occasions, and pleased to know it helped to find out. It's a also prompted a bit of self-examination in them. My brother is being assessed for ADHD (and possible autism) in August. My sister was the only one who initially went 'No, I don't see it, we're all a bit, everyone says they're autistic these days' but to be fair to her when I said 'I can assure you I didn't seek a diagnosis at age 44 to be trendy, it takes a lot to end up in that place' she did ring back later and say 'yes, I see what you're saying'. She's meant well, but then saw it wasn't quite the way to discuss it. 

Friends: I don't have many 'IRL' ones so this won't take long: One was spot on about it, though maybe a bit low key to start with. just thinking about it. But has since sent me links to articles on it etc. to show he's taken it on board, gets me better now, etc. Another friend is the person who tipped the balance for me towards seeking diagnosis, as she gently brought it up in a text: 'do you think you might be..?' and fairly out of the blue after we'd been out of contact for a while. So she has my eternal gratitude and of course reacted appropriately when it was confirmed, and I was thanking her and thanking her! Another friend of mine has an autistic son and it's considerably less masked so I feel uneasy talking about it too much in case it sounds like I'm going to the child's parents 'See, I'm the same' (see our 'Levels' diplomacy thread from earlier in the month) which.... just... no. But it helps that he (my friend) did say (even before I got my diagnosis) that 'maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree' with his son - in other words he believes he may himself be autistic/level 1 (possibly his wife too, like attracts like) though when I asked him if he'd want to know for sure he said he didn't feel he personally needed that. He believes that the tiny group of friends we're in found each other for a reason, with neurodiversity being in each of us in some way ort other. The other friend in that group of three fellas is a GP, and the least in contact. And for some reason I never did get to telling him. I think I'm tentative about it as he might be hand-wavey about it and make me feel invalidated. Even though I can see in him some traits of neurodiversity and he has become very reclusive since himself getting married, basically never leaving the house. As a near-hermit myself, I don't judge - but it is telling perhaps 

Colleagues: A range, with most of it in that indifferent middle that you describe so well. One person said: 'Yes, I could have told you that for nothing' - in a nice way, and it made me feel seen. One or two have been in the 'Ah sure we're all, it's no big deal' - those have been the worst ones, unintentionally making me feel like I'd made a big deal over nothing to get attention or something!  Most have been accepting and a general air of non-surprise has been common. There's a slight fuzziness in my work situation insofar as its an environment - a library withing a university - that draws to its ranks a higher than average percentage of the neurodiverse anyway. I'm only aware of one other officially autistic colleague, and one ADHD one, and I'd say that annoying 'sure we're all on the spectrum' thing is actually legitimately a bit more true in that building/campus just because of the types of people who live/work in that introverted (mostly), sometimes eccentric, and generally scholarly bubble. But... I think those who are (and it's by no means everyone even in my workplace!) are nearly always on the bridge between firmly neurotypical and defintely over the line but not over it  (as I now know I am) into the realms of the officially autistic by the criteria of the DSM5. I wonder who, if anyone, among my colleagues, if given the chance to sit that test for free would also be over the line. I suspect few, ultimately. Maybe none. As I said, I think it takes more than occasional jokey self-deprecation about being 'a bit on the spectrum' to bring you to an assessor's door. True burnout, invisible and regular distress, feeling very misaligned in the world, finding change or even its possibility very upsetting, not just momentarily flummoxing, and so on. 

In a strange way, working among many people on that fuzzy bridge makes the awkwardness of the reveal a bit more intense perhaps. Or rather the disappointment at the slight so-what-ness of reactions a little greater. Because I'm different enough to be more challenged, but it's so invisble and masked to those who are  quirky and/or quiet but very relaxed about change and gossip and similar that I'm never sure if they just think I've tried to make myself extra special. That's more my own overthink than the actual reality, but it's all a bit muddy.

I've had a similar range, between colleagues ,friends, and family:

Family: Mostly pretty chatty about it, on several occasions, and pleased to know it helped to find out. It's a also prompted a bit of self-examination in them. My brother is being assessed for ADHD (and possible autism) in August. My sister was the only one who initially went 'No, I don't see it, we're all a bit, everyone says they're autistic these days' but to be fair to her when I said 'I can assure you I didn't seek a diagnosis at age 44 to be trendy, it takes a lot to end up in that place' she did ring back later and say 'yes, I see what you're saying'. She's meant well, but then saw it wasn't quite the way to discuss it. 

Friends: I don't have many 'IRL' ones so this won't take long: One was spot on about it, though maybe a bit low key to start with. just thinking about it. But has since sent me links to articles on it etc. to show he's taken it on board, gets me better now, etc. Another friend is the person who tipped the balance for me towards seeking diagnosis, as she gently brought it up in a text: 'do you think you might be..?' and fairly out of the blue after we'd been out of contact for a while. So she has my eternal gratitude and of course reacted appropriately when it was confirmed, and I was thanking her and thanking her! Another friend of mine has an autistic son and it's considerably less masked so I feel uneasy talking about it too much in case it sounds like I'm going to the child's parents 'See, I'm the same' (see our 'Levels' diplomacy thread from earlier in the month) which.... just... no. But it helps that he (my friend) did say (even before I got my diagnosis) that 'maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree' with his son - in other words he believes he may himself be autistic/level 1 (possibly his wife too, like attracts like) though when I asked him if he'd want to know for sure he said he didn't feel he personally needed that. He believes that the tiny group of friends we're in found each other for a reason, with neurodiversity being in each of us in some way ort other. The other friend in that group of three fellas is a GP, and the least in contact. And for some reason I never did get to telling him. I think I'm tentative about it as he might be hand-wavey about it and make me feel invalidated. Even though I can see in him some traits of neurodiversity and he has become very reclusive since himself getting married, basically never leaving the house. As a near-hermit myself, I don't judge - but it is telling perhaps 

Colleagues: A range, with most of it in that indifferent middle that you describe so well. One person said: 'Yes, I could have told you that for nothing' - in a nice way, and it made me feel seen. One or two have been in the 'Ah sure we're all, it's no big deal' - those have been the worst ones, unintentionally making me feel like I'd made a big deal over nothing to get attention or something!  Most have been accepting and a general air of non-surprise has been common. There's a slight fuzziness in my work situation insofar as its an environment - a library withing a university - that draws to its ranks a higher than average percentage of the neurodiverse anyway. I'm only aware of one other officially autistic colleague, and one ADHD one, and I'd say that annoying 'sure we're all on the spectrum' thing is actually legitimately a bit more true in that building/campus just because of the types of people who live/work in that introverted (mostly), sometimes eccentric, and generally scholarly bubble. But... I think those who are (and it's by no means everyone even in my workplace!) are nearly always on the bridge between firmly neurotypical and defintely over the line but not over it  (as I now know I am) into the realms of the officially autistic by the criteria of the DSM5. I wonder who, if anyone, among my colleagues, if given the chance to sit that test for free would also be over the line. I suspect few, ultimately. Maybe none. As I said, I think it takes more than occasional jokey self-deprecation about being 'a bit on the spectrum' to bring you to an assessor's door. True burnout, invisible and regular distress, feeling very misaligned in the world, finding change or even its possibility very upsetting, not just momentarily flummoxing, and so on. 

In a strange way, working among many people on that fuzzy bridge makes the awkwardness of the reveal a bit more intense perhaps. Or rather the disappointment at the slight so-what-ness of reactions a little greater. Because I'm different enough to be more challenged, but it's so invisble and masked to those who are  quirky and/or quiet but very relaxed about change and gossip and similar that I'm never sure if they just think I've tried to make myself extra special. That's more my own overthink than the actual reality, but it's all a bit muddy.