Published on 12, July, 2020
I have came out to 4 people in my life about my autism so far. I have considered all of them as caring empathetic people. 2 of them were very nice, offering to listen to me since it's a lot of things in mind and lot of feelings. The other two had a reaction that surprised me. One said nothing but "thank you for sharing" and right after that asked me for a favor. It felt like this big reveal of mine ment nothing to them. The other one asked me "is it officially diagnosed?" And didn't respond to my answer only a day after writing a message "do you want to hang out?". I'm sad because of these reactions and I honestly don't know how to interpret them.. it felt like they don't care or understand how huge of a deal this is for me.. did anyone have similar experiences?
I think I know what is happening here. As Autistics we have the insight to fully understand autism without pre-conceived ideas. However, non-autistics do not have this capability so tend to make decisions based on limited knowledge. They can therefore belive they understand Autism. They may not be deliberately unkind. They just suffer, what, I have seen called, ATDS or Autistic Trait Deficiency Syndrome. I have found that the way around this is to take them through the logic of my diagnosis ,explaining how I came to the conclusion that I am Autistic and saying it was a surprise to me and how doubtful I was until I had to accept it. Also, tell them why you are pleased that I now understand myself better and that I see it as a good thing.
I hope this makes sense.