Rule 4 - Be Nice

I find it deeply disturbing that the moderators don't have a no-tolerance policy against transphobia. In other threats racism and sexism have also been allowed to stay up. How can we create a safe space for autistic people when allowing hatred towards so many demographics to go unchallenged?

Welcome......be careful not to catch dog tails in the door when you close them.  I'm wizardly myself btw.

Alice-nice-Alice said:

if the mods did their jobs properly these discussions wouldn’t take place,

Forgive me Cloudfactory.....I have absolutely no doubt that our trusty and long suffering VOLUNTEER mods pray that these treads don't get fired up.  Moreover, if you don't want these discussions to take place, why did you start this one?  I don't understand?.......but no change there on this subject matter.

If you need me, I'll be in Bakhmut.  PS..fun fact, Bakhmut auto-correct is bikinis on my device.

Thank you. I do understand that many, perhaps most, people are kind and caring but my suffering was intense and profound and it’s consequences echoing to this day. I cannot explain the pain of having my daughters taken from me for simply being my true self. I am so glad you are loving your child as you do, it is excellent to hear and is indeed a little comfort, than you. I’m in a bad place today, they were truly accepting mr, we we’re getting there in our relationship and we could have been in each other’s lives still had not mainstream prejudices intervened. 

I feel this is off track for an autism community so I apologise for this, it’s so incredibly hard and for all the trauma I’ve suffered, and dealt with, the loss of my daughters is a suicidal pain I cannot resolve or close. 

To be fair the mods pointed out the rules and they still weren't followed so the thread was closed.

I don't like a lot of what some people online say but I choose not to reply because it always ends badly, as we saw today with the thread. Best thing to do is walk away, take some time offline and come back later. Which is what I'm doing now.

Peace ️

Alice-nice-Alice said:

if the mods did their jobs properly

The mods are volunteers.

I absolutely get that point. But I also know how hard a job it is to admin a group of people. But even raising that point has meant the discussion is turning into one where it feels like (for me anyway) treading on eggshells. And ultimately it could also end up being closed. 

I wonder if it would be more beneficial to reach out to a mod or the email address associated with the forum to voice your concerns there. As they are the decision makers? 

Daft question Zoe....dogs are ALWAYS welcome in my world - invariably to the preference of humans!  Hop in, slam the doors & lend me a dog for a cuddle.

I am genuinely sorry that you have experienced such distress and grief. No one should have to suffer in such a way. Perhaps the knowledge that my non-binary child will not suffer in any way - from within their family - because of who they are, might be of some comfort. Also, both myself and my wife are 'cis het', proving that not all are unfeeling or persecutory.

I think an important part of point was that if the mods did their jobs properly these discussions wouldn’t take place, and crucially be left in place indefinitely. 

Can I bring my dogs?

But in all seriousness I try and stay away on these discussions. If I had it my way there would be no divide on race, wealth, gender, sexual preference, disability and whatever else people see themselves as - were all human and I wish we could all see that and learn to live alongside each other. 

Im often worried I’ll unintentionally say the wrong thing, the ever growing abbreviations also confuse me. And this is coming from someone with a transgender family member who I love unconditionally. 

I may well stand accused of hypocrisy and no my English here isn’t perfect but I’m coming from a place you probably have no experience of …

When I transitioned in the early 90s my children were prevented from seeing me by the mainstream, a mainstream of straight white Roman Catholic men, I haven’t seen them since and its a miracle I’m still alive - my first suicide attempt was on my older daughter’s birthday, alone distressed hurt, there have been several at attempts since, each more serious and the last in November 22 only escaped by a slimmest thread. Ok, you can run linguistic rings round me but you cannot ever understand the true depth of hatred and persecution felt, the true consequences of simply being my true self.

Are sorcerers from fictional worlds allowed? If so then I'm in

It is hypocritical to cry out against prejudice and then commit it. I like exactitude in communication and expression, and I dislike hypocrisy. Do I think in black and white terms - yes, I'm autistic. In my understanding, either the expression I have objected to was an articulation of prejudice, or was a mistake of expression. Either prejudice or a mistake, I cannot conceive of any other possibility.

I don't want to make any assumptions about you, there seem to be some crossed wires here. As you say, you've no axe to grind, and a family member who is non-binary who you clearly support. 

Anyone fancy a holiday in Bakhmut with me ..the minibus leaves in 10 minutes.  I just thought a place like that might be a welcome rest from the constant fear, uncertainty and risk that exists on this particular page.....no matter whether you are Russian, Ukrainian, gay, straight or any other shade....or even if you don't have any skin in the game!  Talk on this matter is simply too dangerous these days.  It makes me sad.

Number.

The prejudice expressed was against invalidation only. What have I missed?

That is not my view.

We are mostly autistic here, so most of us have some experience of exclusion from the mainstream, if not persecution. Your argument is a little like the, fairly often stated, assertion that 'black people cannot be racist', because they have been enslaved and persecuted. I expect that the Tutsi being slaughtered by the Hutu in the Rwanda genocide fully subscribed to that idea.

I don't understand the relevance of not having mentioned me. My point was about your use of apparently hypocritical wording. If you were not expressing a prejudicial attitude, please explain how I have misunderstood.