Published on 12, July, 2020
...of being autistic.
Just finished a short online meeting, where I didn't have to do much except say one thing for AOB at the end. Thankfully meetings are rare in my job, just every couple of months. But by the end of this thing, I was so tense in my core that I had to lie on my bed for five minutes to relieve the intense pain. Never sure if the online ones are better or worse than in person. Maybe better. I don't have to repress a stim, it's out of frame!
On public transport, feeling the internal rage of someone's tinny speakers (in the "olden days" it used to be leaking headphones, now people seem to think normal phone speakers are acceptable). Muttering to myself "that's f****** annoying" hoping they will hear me say it as I put my ear plugs in. Can still hear it somewhat. Get off the tram with internal rage still boiling. Question my partner about all this whowas sitting next to me who says "I didn't notice anything".
I hate that too, particularly people who listen/watch stuff on their phones in public without headphones. Then I get paranoid that my headphones leak too.