Published on 12, July, 2020
Anyone else have this?
Where most look forward to ever more daylight, it's around now that I start to miss in advance the clear delineation between day and night. That first evening leaving work and it's still daylight depresses me profoundly in a way I can't quite explain. The aggressive insistence of Spring I suppose.
I'm really going to miss my 4.30 pm twilights, but I suppose if we had our personal favourite seasons (autumn/winter in my case) all year round we'd never appreciate them to the extent we do.
Anyone else understand/have this reversal of the more conventional form of SAD? It's not that I won't get *something* out of the warmer months of flourishing nature, but witnessing Spring's birthpains is like an assault on the senses. Daffodils kind of disgust me - they're so raw, the early shock troops of the season, forced out of the soil into cold harsh misery and screaming in pain. Crocuses too. Like the visual equivalent of being near chopped raw onions or something. Snowdrops at least look more pleasant and delicate, but they're so impertinently 'early' - can we just have winter for now please, thanks? Anyone get this, or am I just sounding insane?
They'd probably defeat the sock monsters of the cosmos.
They look like they *are* pain. Like an optic nerve torn from the earth and forced skywards towards the incoming sleet. You sense their gratitude when death’s merciful hand graces them at last.
Ghost daffodils would be the worst
Shardovan said:That’s so funny as I’m teetotal and such a goody two shoes that I’ve never taken non-prescribed drugs.
Autists don't really require those kinds of drugs, do we? :D The incredible intensity of the 'visions' you described show this to be true...as does the ghost one I mentioned earlier today.
I daren't go to sleep in case I have a nightmare about daffodils screaming in pain
Hate it when that happens. Thought my posts might be the cure for insomnia, but maybe not
There’s a line in the Doctor Who story about him where he talks about sunflowers as slightly revolting him but feeling a kind of horrified and fascinated pull towards them as well. I think daffs and crocuses are my equivalent! Except I’d never want to paint them, looking at that horrible too yellow/too green vulgar combo suffering through its few weeks of life is bad enough even in brief glimpses. And they’re on every roundabout and embankment. Unavoidable
I'm getting flavours of Van Gogh reading this for some reason
I took a supplement I thought would help me sleep but it's had the opposite effect. And here I am bright eyed and bushy tailed.
That’s so funny as I’m teetotal and such a goody two shoes that I’ve never taken non-prescribed drugs. Except for the mildest thing ever, two years ago. With disappointing results. But I can only imagine taking those substances you mention in early Spring would only heighten the visceral horror of it all!
Shardovan said:witnessing Spring's birthpains is like an assault on the senses. Daffodils kind of disgust me - they're so raw, the early shock troops of the season, forced out of the soil into cold harsh misery and screaming in pain.
This might mean nothing at all but your descriptions remind me of the visions I read about that were experienced by users of LSD and also absinthe drinkers.
Yes, hate that! I also hate when the author had three people talking and assumes you know who’s who at any point when some of the phrases aren’t distinctively them enough to make it clear. So I end up reading it three times over or more to get at least one combination right.
I love heavy rain, especially from indoors or in the car. I do live cool crisp dry weather too though. Rain is never unwelcome in my world, if feels like an old friend.
One of the things I find most stressful in work is hyper vigilance. Even though my job is suitably routine based and highly predictable, I hate the chess moves of people coming and going around me, nobody at rest, always looking for greener grass. And I hate suddenly whispered conversations in inner offices, my paranoia kicks in massively. High alert never gets switched off. And that’s in one of the least fraught professions there is, I dread to think what I’d be like in the ‘real’ world
Steven said:Daytime, you see, is when frightening or nerve-wracking things are most likely to happen (a sudden knocking at the door; a letter/envelope whose very 'official' appearance scares me; a phone call out of the blue bringing unanticipated news concerning me etc etc). All of these fears and the tension are quite ridiculous and out of proportion in my mind, yet I still have them every single day
I have all those fears too, all based upon things that have happened in the past. I am constantly hypervigilant.
I find drawing the curtains when it gets dark a comforting experience. Finally the day is over. I can shut out the outside world and start to feel 'safe'.
Opposites attract.
I'm like a cabbage, I need the cold.
Shardovan said: internal architecture
You describe it so well. I think a lot of people probably draw on previous imagery or environment. The trouble is when you get to a bit in the story and it doesn't fit with what you've imagined so far!
Cool. My second fave ep of BB was the piano one. The absurdity
I just wish I knew the absolute, factual reason(s) for this kind of limitation. It's a puzzling state to have both too much and also not enough imagination.