Who/what do you feel the most kinship/connection with?

Can I say myself?  

1. Animals . . . easy to talk to, don't need to make eye contact and don't have to mask. If only people were like Animals. 

I like the idea of nature but going out is unappealing so I appreciate it from afar via my bedroom window. Most people are boring and overrated but I find solace with others like me. 

I agree to a large extent, but I do think we need some sort of datum point from which we can navigate this life together - and I think that datum, in our current world, is called "normal."

I'm sanguine about it.

Number said:

[....and for the avoidance of doubt, yes, I am only TRYING to be humorous! ]

I'm not --- I think we're all nuts myself included!  That's because *WHO* sitting on their lofty pedestal has the right to determine what is normal?  It doesn't matter how many letters follow their name, or what theories are created. We are too complexed and so should embrace our diversity in this insane world.

Yea, but the rest of them are clearly all deluded and mental - we're the only sane ones amongst this lot ?

[....and for the avoidance of doubt, yes, I am only TRYING to be humorous! ]

It makes for an interesting comment actually.

There is quite a variance in responses ...

Well dear Debbie, It won't surprise you to hear that your list is my list - verbatim.  It makes for a boring comment !

Dogs, nature, the sea and books. I don't feel a great connection with people, but books help me understand human experiences a bit more. 

Wildfowl - ducks, swans and geese. I have a real connection and empathy with them, it is like we can actually communicate with each other and they seem drawn to me and to trust me. I once had a goose try to sit in my lap and I had a swan bring her cygnets over for me to handfeed them which is really unusual cos they are very protective of their young

Other autistic people cos you just get it

My wife

My autistic son 

People who society thinks have failed at life and people who are outcasts in society like the homeless and unemployed

My parents and uncle most of the time 

Animals in general, particularly hippos 

My cuddly plush animals 

German culture 

Other than that, NT people are a foreign species to me. I only know how to communicate with them through mirroring how they talk to each other. I observe them and their behaviour with a mixture of interest and bafflement in the same way that naturalists observe monkeys in the rainforest 

Yes exactly, being surrounded by nature is escapism from the pace of the world.

I feel a connection with all 4 really, just especially 1, 2, and 3. And although I think we should be prioritising animals and nature more than humans in general, in practical terms I focus on marginalised people first, because I don't think society at large will ever meaningfully value non-humans all the while they continue to think they can get away with treating even other humans as lesser than themselves.

My kiddo comes 1st before anything and everything else though.

I wish it didn't sound so downbeat though, Shard. The ironic thing is that I never feel lonely, despite being alone, and have had a generally happy life. In fact, the worst thing in my life is not realising *decades* ago that I had issues; as frustrating as that is, it's hardly the most awful thing one could experience.

Good question Former Member.

In order of importance/preference:

1. My son and my deceased dad.

2. Close friends

3. Dogs 

4. Some other animals 

5. Some other humans

6. Inanimate objects (soft toys) 

7. Nature (especially brightly-coloured flowers)

Brilliantly put. 

Steven said:

autists are *internally* isolated

that's why I had to make a list in order, some beings/things are easier to connect with

'Who/what do you feel the most kinship/connection with?'

You know, if I answered that question in-depth as opposed to swiftly and without thought, I would find it a very difficult question; and not because I'm the kind of cold-hearted sociopath we're too often imagined to be but because, at heart, autists are *internally* isolated. There's a thin wall between us and other lives but it nevertheless remains a solid, transparent, though misted wall. Connection is fleeting, and we're the spirits trying to be heard and seen. None of what I've written in this post is meant to be critical or pessimistic; it's just what my life has shown me.

Hmm. Is it accidental or order in which you write them is intended?

Anyway, my order is intended:

1. My grandad, who died in 1991, and our cat, who dissapeared 3 years prior to that, Innocents and mistreated among humans: kids (not all, some are on a wrong path already), weaker, bullied, elderly

2. Other cats, my 3 friends, fellow autistic, 

3. Other animals (except birds, too loud, and pooing on us), other non-ableists (those I manage to connect with), Plants I used to have back home, plants I will have one day

Me too. Just being sat out and surrounded by it is so peaceful - feels like another world.

The short answer is “Almost no one.” The longer answer:

As Franz Kafka said, “I have hardly anything in common with myself”.

• My wife. She is genuinely the only person who really “gets” me and is on the same wavelength, so I can unmask with her.
• Intellectuals, particularly ones who are dead, eccentric and/or Jewish, most especially those who were probably neurodiverse or mentally ill.
• Lonely people. I would say “marginalised” etc., but it sounds awkward.
• Children (but only quiet, well-behaved ones).
• I do genuinely try to care about everyone and feel obligation to care for them.

I don’t feel any connection with animals. They often frighten me. I find them unpredictable, especially dogs. I didn’t have any pets (except fish) as a child, plus I’ve been attacked by dogs and by a duck and twice had apples stolen from my hands from goats, so maybe that’s it.

Good to hear

Debbie,

Yes, it's more relaxing to look at my profile name now and it's much more "me."