School reports - how were yours?

What video?

I would have much preferred to be in a special stream for PE and not have to do competitive sport! There was an outdoor activities thing in my school but I never ever heard of how one got into that. If I had my time over again i think I'd try and find out if it was something one could have done as an alternative. Really fun stuff like canoeing and rock climbing instead of horrific hockey!

One more rant about something that probably applied to most of us, and may apply to our kids.

Physical education, at least in Australia, doesn't seem very modern, and it sounds like the UK may not have advanced much in this area either.  I would have thought that PE teachers would be trained to meet the needs of a range of children and that their skills would encompass a bit of physiotherapy, proprioception etc (I may not know all the technical terms) and they would have ideas for  fun activities for kids who are either reluctant or physically challenged in some way or both.  Well surely they are trained, but perhaps when it comes to the real life situation they don't do it. 

It's just such a missed opportunity - because physical fitness can help a lot with self-esteem, anxiety and autism as well obviously it would help with many conditions.  I would have been quite happy to be in a separate stream for PE - like a fun fitness kind of thing as opposed to competitive sport.  Though it's not compulsory beyond year 9 now over here, something my eldest is happy about.

PS: I just realised I should have watched the video!  Will watch later

But those school stories are not accurate but idealised. I was recently listening to an audiobook by CS Lewis and he went to some really horrible boarding schools with awful bullying and I have heard of that from other sources too. 

I think the only way we might avoid it would be if there were schools just for autistics. Which would be lovely for us but probably even worse for society in general, although that is hard to tell actually as did any NTs actually get to know or understand any autists?

I was in the first year of the comprehensive system in County Durham and was really disappointed not to go to grammar school.  And yes, lots of the bullying came from students who would have gone to Sunnydale (Scummy Jail) anyway.  Later, my husband taught science at a school in Teeside and he said that, whenever all the schools went to the same swimming galas, the disruption caused by the Sunnydale pupils was off the scale!  

I don't remember The Avenue, I'm afraid, but I do remember feeling very unsafe and not being supported by teachers. 

Yes damaged for life in many cases. I wished that I had gone to school a decade earlier and been able to attend one of the old grammar schools. I think in that type of environment there would have been less bullying and general lesson disruption.

I used to read books where the characters in them attended boarding schools and I thought they sounded wonderful. Certainly compared to the rough comprehensives I was forced to attend.

Interestingly one of my schools was only a few miles from yours, that you mentioned earlier in this discussion. Do you remember The Avenue? One of the teachers there did notice that I was on my own all the time and he tried to encourage me to join the chess group. However I left that school shortly afterwards and never got the chance.

The next comprehensive I attended was even worse. I do not recall any teachers there ever trying to help.

And wow, lovely community!  Thank you so much for all of your contributions to this thread. 

I was fascinated and troubled when I watched Sam's video and I'm now feeling even moreso!  This all reads like interview extracts from a piece of qualitative research on the failings of the education system, with strong "emergent themes" around lack of acceptance and accommodation, erosion of trust, bullying and social exclusion and a system which is centred on perceived societal/cultural needs and norms with barely anything that's person-centred.  Controlling, coersive and liable to lead to issues with anxiety and/or depression!

Thriving wasn't possible for me but I'm actually feeling thankful for surviving!  

Autonomistic said:

However nobody asked why or offered any support 

And that was something that should have been asked at the very start!  Increasingly, when I look back at our school days, I'm seeing so many ways that, far from educating us, damaged us so that it became very difficult to recover and make appropriate choices in life.  :( 

Indeed.  We were so often met with those well-worn statements, as if simply bringing it to our attention would resolve matters.  We, I suppose it did from their point of view as it pushed systemic failures onto our individual shoulders and then, when we failed to learn from that, well we only had ourselves to blame for not simply being more confident, speaking up or behaving like everybody else!

I only eventually started to feel more confident after doing a Level 1 Interpersonal skills course in my mid 40s - the introduction to lots of counselling courses - and the emphasis was on experiential learning, within small groups and a very safe and accepting environment.  I could feel the atmosphere shift as I drove back from my day in the finance office and walked into the counselling room.  But even then I felt really angry because I couldn't help wondering why the rest of my education hadn't been like that!   Also the basic level of knowledge and experience imparted was exactly what I'd needed when I was about 13, not 45! 

NB that's not to say that I think autistic people specifically should be taught social skills - the opposite in fact, because it should be on the syllabus for everyone.  Then maybe there'd be more understanding between neurotypes.  Certainly I was in a very mixed group and at the time didn't know that I was autistic, but there was a lot of emphasis on group dynamics, a safe learning environment and accepting difference.  Much of it was based on the person-centred approach of Carl Rogers, who was writing in the 50s and 60s so all of this was certainly known when I went to school!    

But anyway, I just feel really sad that the combination of intelligence and sensitivity often isn't accommodated and doesn't sit well in many workplace environments either.  It feels as though a whole neurotype is being systematically undervalued and, whlst not overtly excluded, discouraged again and again so that it becomes very hard to "succeed".  "Success" is, after all, often only gained on their terms.  :( 

If something like GCSE cross-stitch had been an option, or perhaps GCSE cake decorating / sugarcraft (as opposed to Home Economics), I am quite sure I would have found my school days far more enjoyable.

I was also at secondary in the 80s but I don't recall strikes causing so much chaos, maybe my school handled it better, or maybe a different part of the 80s? It sounds horrendous, as if school wasn't bad enough!

Yes, other kids were the worst. I did have some good friends which helped immensely. We had places to go at lunch, it was the breaks between lessons, but since my school was large and spread out, often half that time would be used going between classrooms. Still had to dodge the bullies. But I did fight back so it was more teasing than physical for me, which was bad enough.

Ah yes in secondary school there was no option to stay inside. I used to try hiding in various places, but I always seemed to be found by a teacher or a prefect and sent outside to fend for myself in the wild  It wasn't the rain that bothered me it was the other kids.

Being conscientious certainly isn't a prerequisite to be autistic, but those children were much more likely to be overlooked.

I attended secondary school in the 1980s. Due to the widespread and long running strike action even the teachers didn't bother turning up a lot of the time. I doubt I would get away with such a poor attendance record nowadays.

It really added to my anxiety, not knowing who the teacher was going to be in advance of lessons. Often the supply teachers couldn't control the class at all and the resultant noise was unbearable sensory overload for me. Different ability classes were often combined, as there weren't enough supply teachers available.  Sometimes no teacher turned up at all, not even a supply teacher. You can imagine how the other kids ran riot.

I'm very upset at the mod removing my school report.  

So I am reposting it with the offending details, teachers name, headmaster and school name blurred out.

To be honest, I think the schools wouldn't have got very far at understanding or helping me given how unknown high-functioning autism was (it wasn't even recognised until I was in secondary school) and how resistant I was to any suggestion that I wasn't living my life in a healthy way. I was very resistant to anyone "interfering" (as I would have seen it). I did go to counselling at one point, but got selective mutism (which I've never had in other contexts) and just sat there in silence for four sessions until I gave up, even though the counsellor wanted me to continue and said I needed help.

I would have liked some guidance as to *how* to contribute in class, or how to communicate more generally beyond "well you've just got to do it... you've a tongue in your head, haven't you?"

I spent my whole childhood being told I was (a) very intelligent and (b) too quiet. I couldn't figure out how on earth to fix (b) so I leaned into (a) hoping that would somehow compensate. Got the best A level results in the history of my grammar school. Struggled through uni but still did well on final exams. Crashed and burned after graduation due to not being able to have successful interactions with others and have achieved very little since.

Autonomistic said:

Every day I used to ask my teacher for extra maths questions that I could do during break times and at home. I would much rather do maths questions than be forced to go out into the playground with the other children.

One of my primary school teachers had a rule of "whoever is slowest putting their stuff away at the end of the day gets extra maths homework." I would deliberately go as slowly as possible in the hope it would be me.

My reports, on the whole were good. I was as compliant as I could possibly be, and I was quite bright academically. I hated and loathed school, however. My reports tended to say I was quiet, I had bouts of selective mutism in infants school, so I was very quiet then! Comments often said that I volunteered very little in class, and would only speak if asked a direct question.

Oh do pick up your art supplies and play with them! Make that child that was once you happy!

I do play with yarn sometimes, or sewing and a little bit of calligraphy now and then. My worsening eyesight is not helping though.

As for the huge eccentric sculptures, fun as they were I am sure my husband would be horrified! Where would they go in the house? It is messy enough already! Maybe I should try and claim the mess is an art installation... like the unmade bed?

Autonomistic said:

I would much rather do maths questions than be forced to go out into the playground with the other children.

I used to love in junior school a rainy day when we were allowed to stay inside and read or draw instead of being forced out onto the playground! Another worse thing about senior school, since we didn't have our own classroom we had to fend for ourselves in the rain.

Not all of us are conscientious though. I was very bad at bothering to do my homework. Although I think I was in some ways.

I am surprised how many have said their poor attendance was not chased up. Makes me think i could totally have got away with skiving PE! Missed a trick there.

Yes, I made similar choices and felt that creative - academic tension too.  I found that the further I got through my education the more pressure was piled onto the academic side.  And, although I felt out of place and in many ways blocked, the need to conform academically and also to escape childhood poverty prevailed.  So I later trained as an accountant and the creative, arty kid in me was suppressed.  At the time I had the distinct thought that being an artist was associated with struggling and poverty and I wanted no more of that.  But now it's like a knife being turned when I see others with successful online art businesses.  

Still, it's good to have encouraging parents as many don't and this makes a huge difference in itself.  Maybe it also creates the foundations on which to rebuild later in life too?  I haven't picked up my arty stuff again either but I think the hope remains and I actually have some art materials in the corner of this very room.  I wonder how it would feel to get back into it now?  Maybe you'd have to start in a very small way - doodles or a bit of "stimmy" plastercine and the like - and see whether the artist in you will come out and take up full residence again?     

Clever! And probably kept you warm in winter. My classmates probably would have preferred if I had skived, obviously nobody wanted me on their team.

Thinking about it I kind of wish I had skipped PE. My Mum would not have minded! Why did i think the rule that one had to attend unless sick or at the dentist (appointments always made for PE time of course!) had to be followed yet did not think I had to fully participate in the game or do what the teacher said?