Finally plucked up the courage

That's what I'm doing for almost a year now. Beware of hidden danger of running out of motivation to do anything. I've just had 3 weeks when I couldn't make myself do anything except sleeping more than I should and going to work.

Hibernating sounds like a good plan. I might go do the same feel like I need a good long rest right about now. Keep going you're doing great. Just remember to manage self care as well so you don't burn out.

Thank you very much. Nice words about inner strength too- something to contemplate. But you’re right. I think it’s time to hibernate for a while!

Well done! That's an amazing accomplishment and a lot to go through and do. No wonder you're tired! Have a break now. Rest. Put your feet up and give yourself a pat on the back.  The strength is in all of us but it's not always easy to locate and use. But once found it takes us to great heights. Happy for you.

Thank you very much- and certainly not taken in a patronising way either. It was a big deal and took far too long for me to do, well, that’s with hindsight in mind I suppose. I think there is strength in seeking a diagnosis and even in being involved in a community such as this, so I have no doubt that you find strength where you need it. We all do in the end.

At the risk of sounding patronising, WELL DONE!  It's such a hard thing to ask for and the pressure must have been intense. NTs might not realise, but what you've just done is huge and takes freat courage.  I hope that once my assessment is done, I have the same kind of strength.

Not only that, it is genuinely what I want.

It’s more important than many people realise.

Time and Space.  This is all I ever ask for.

Thank you.

It started to feel simpler during the meetings. Beforehand, not so much. I’d built up the pressure on myself to seem almost insurmountable. As these things so often turn out to be, direct and clear communication (which relies on both parties) was the trick. I should have asked years ago, but I didn’t have the courage or the self-esteem to feel worthy of it. My mindset is changing slightly.

Now it’s just a case of time and space for processing.

Thank you. It’s nice to read of your growing confidence too. Any step forward, no matter how small, is worth celebrating. 

Thank you. It’s a funny feeling that I’m finding hard to put words to. But I think, as you suggest, taking time to process is the important bit. 

Yep. And well done.

Sometimes simple things make all the difference. 

Sometimes NT don't know what thoes simple things are - not their fault, their world is different - and we must spell it out.

But once you can say, I need this, you need that, how can we do both, if both sides are on board, finally we are on a winner.

Good luck with your meeting.

Coffee Guy,

Awww that's so wonderful to hear.  I'm delighted for you!  I'm also growing in confidence about a few things in my life despite my struggles. Baby steps but they are steps anyway. :-)

Well done you, I have been thinking about you. I’m so glad that you have been listened to. All I can say is just see how the next few weeks go and use your quiet space when you need it. You should be proud of yourself.

Well, what a rollercoaster these past two weeks have been since originally posting this. I had said I’d give an update, so, here I go.

I must admit, I’m very tired now, so perhaps I’ll keep it fairly to the point. It’s been quite a draining experience with lots of change. But the overwhelming sensation is one of positivity.

I have had two in depth meetings with management now. I feel like I have been listened to and like I have managed to highlight and illustrate some of my different experiences, to the rest of my colleagues, of life in the workplace. I have managed to demonstrate some of the ways I do well, but also some of the difficulties I face on a daily basis that act as a barrier to accessing my job role as effectively as I can.

In response to this, management have begun to roll out a series of adaptations based on my requests. I feel like these have been tailored to me, rather than just being generic responses, and I am hopeful that they will help and continue to be applied. Some of the adjustments include a private and quiet space to reduce sensory input when needed, advance notice of upcoming tasks and changes and a range of hearing protection for the various situations I find myself in each working day. There are more, but these examples are to illustrate the sorts of things that have been/are being sorted.

It’s still early days yet, so more meetings may be required, but I’m feeling more confident to arrange one if it is needed. 

I was very open and honest. I gained confidence as the meetings went on and found myself asking for things I would usually skip over out of fear of putting someone else out. I think I’m feeling quite proud of myself for seeing this through. I knew it was the right thing to do and I didn’t talk myself out of it (although I tried a fair few times). I have surprised myself actually.

Thank you. This was such a huge step for me, so I’m pleased I did it. Now I’ve got to see it through!

James said:

Good luck with the preparation - remember not to let it consume all your focus and energies

Great advice! This is going to be a balancing act I feel. I’m very inclined, naturally, to fall into that exact trap, so I will have to be careful.

That "oh so much" is a bit vague - it means concrete results that will assist you.

Thank you! I hope so too. I think that if I don’t start the conversation, it is a guarantee that no adjustments will be made. So at least by asking, I’m starting the conversation. Who knows what will happen. I am hopeful though.

Oakling said:

The date is pencilled in, and now I get to have a good think in preparation for this meeting. My aim is to now think of my context, the adjustments that can reasonably be in this role and what I’m actually asking for.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this, but it feels good to write it down. I’m sure many of you can relate to that feeling here.

Given how difficult it is to even ask for such a meeting, congrats on taking such a huge step.

Good luck with the preparation - remember not to let it consume all your focus and energies (it sometimes helps a lot to have a breather now and then) - and fingers crossed for - oh so much!