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Feeling like an imposter/doubting diagnosis

dccwal_90

As a new member and as I browse around the discussion board it's the first discussion point I wish to enquire make a contribution about. 

Is this a common experience particularly of those who have been diagnosed later as an adult?

I haven't been diagnosed yet but I have periods of thought which say well I am able to speak articulately, I can make some eye contact with people and just from looking at me as I present there are no immediate signs of autism. I probably wouldn't appear autistic to neurotypical people and those not as knowledgeable and I don't satisfy the stereotypical perception of an autistic person. A lot of it with me feels like it is hidden or comes from evidence from my childhood. They wouldn't be able to ascertain it from sitting in a room sitting opposite me.  

Edit: I am an overthinker so this is probably contributing to the above thoughts. So my overthinking also is making me doubt what I'm doing in seeking a diagnosis so later on in life. .  

I guess I am concerned for the diagnostic process and hope that it is thorough. 

Thanks in advance

  • in reply to Deleted User

    For the majority of the time presently, I am in the headspace of thinking that getting a diagnosis will be a vindication for me of what I notice and what I feel about myself. So if I get the diagnosis it will be interesting that once the initial vindication and relief passes how I will feel when I present to the world around me. 

    I certainly can identify similar issues when it comes to talking to a friend about a problem or asking for help. I have a tendency to be very quick to help and I have empathy I can offer other people when they have problems and I offer advice and support but I'm hopeless when it comes to myself. I use to have thoughts that the only reason I existed on the planet was to help others in a crisis. What happens to me doesn't matter.

    I am glad these ideas are becoming outdated. I'm glad I do have people who are saying to me when you have met one autistic person....you have only met one autistic person. The next one will have a different profile. 

  • in reply to Roy

    I would agree with you there Roy I've had 32 years of pretending and learning how to act normal. 

  • We nearly all look normal to neurotypicals, we have had a lifetime to perfect the act.

  • I remember writing something similar before my diagnosis. Bad news: I still feel like an imposter some days! But as I'm learning more about myself and autism this is getting less. 

    Autism is measured on behaviours but just because you don't present with certain behaviours it doesn't mean your brain isn't wired as an autistic. For me it depends what environment I'm in. Eg I'm very articulate at work in presenting info but when I have to tell a friend about a problem or ask for help this is difficult. Or I can take part in a reciprocal conversation but I think there's different processing going on to a neurotypical.

    A lot of people are not stereotypically autistic and I think these ideas are becoming more outdated. I post time and again on here to recommend yo samdy sam and aspergers from the inside on youtube. It's a spectrum and we have spiky profiles.