Not at all sure I fit in here

I've never had a career, indeed any paid employment at all. Soon after my 1st hospitalisation I did voluntary work going round  wards with the hospital library service. It was a disaster. I didn't know  how to approach the patients and what to say to them. I still find it very difficult to initiate conversations. I lasted about a week.

I've never found anything that ticks all the boxes re what would've made a paid job a viable option for me. In no particular order of importance- 1. Near home. I have a poor sense of direction 2. Non manual, but also not highly competitive and stress inducing.3.Difficulty initiating conversations with fellow workers wouldn't be a problem. 

Very few people openly admit they've never had a paid job. Perhaps I'm rather naive in doing so. The impression I get is that there are very few people like me,re never having a paid job, unless they have a severe intellectual and/ or physical disability.

I agree JuniperFromGallifrey- finding good, paid employment for people with autism is a huge challenge and even excellent academic qualifications many autistic people struggle to have very successful careers. Some do of course - but it’s definitely not as common in the autistic community. Most of us have problems in this respect in various ways. We are often working in jobs that are ‘below’ our intellectual ability, or not in paid work at all in many cases. So please don’t feel that not being ‘successful’ (in the conventional career sense) means you don’t belong here - that is very much not the case! Much the opposite in fact! 

I always have that same feeling Paige - that ‘people don’t like me’. I think in general this is our autistic paranoia. I think you seem so nice, intelligent and caring - I don’t see any reason why people wouldn’t like you :) 

I really like the things this chap has to say about the societies we've been brought up in: https://autcollab.org/2020/09/02/pathologisation-of-life-and-neurodiversity-in-w-e-i-r-d-monocultures/

It's hard to work out how to filter out what is not important to look at for a proper evaluation, even if it's just to find a direction for growth. 

But doubtful anyone here has a high powered career. I've been fired so many times for my autistic traits and also have found I've been on the brink of homelessness too many times. I honestly have no idea how to sustain a future, just keep putting one foot in front of the next and have found grounding principles (sometimes mottos) to allow for certain variables or changes in life.

That’s a good point Shardovan. Maybe you don’t realise Firemonkey that you’ve probably helped so many people with your comments on here? This is a supportive network and you are a part of that - so your presence here has real value. The more support autistic people have the better - because there is not enough out there in society in general. But here we are each other’s support aren’t we? Which is something to really treasure. 

You don’t really have to ‘fit in’ here -  it’s just a matter of whether or not it’s helpful, useful, or enjoyable to be on this forum. You don’t have to ‘prove’ anything to yourself or to others to justify your presence here. I think virtually all autistic people feel like ‘outliers’ to a great degree, and most of us have huge issues with stress and anxiety - so you definitely have that in common with everyone on here. 

Thanks,all of you.Recent threads here, coupled with tweets on  'autistic twitter' had had me doubting  whether  I belonged,or not, within the autistic community.   I've learnt from experience that just as with the NT community,there is a hierarchy with both having people who are more influential,popular, and highly valued than others. I've always been rather low on that particular totem pole. I'll never be an 'autistic influencer' with a Youtube channel that has 100 K or so subscribers. Nor will I ever be a 'go to' person  for media interviews.

Well it's your choice but I think you should stay.

I think everyone has a place here. In a way we all kind of don't fit in, that's something that joins us I think.

To be honest I don't feel I fit in particularly well. I get the feeling most people don't like me but maybe that's just where I over analyse and overthink things? I hope it's that.

I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia and DID I don't really talk about it all that much but you're not alone. I'm sure there's lots of people here who are in the same boat.

I hope you decide to stay 

Practice ignoring posts that don't resonate with you.  After all, isn't feeling like an outsider normal?

As the saying goes, " if you meet one autistic person ... you've met one autistic person."  We are all weirdly wired in our own unique way. Hopefully you will find some stuff that is relevant to you, and you can ignore the rest. Welcome to the zoo!

Please stay! Please? Or consider it. No pressure, but I for one would appreciate it a lot. You've just done me a massive favour by starting a topic that I was going to try and be brave enough to initiate myself  at some point. Approaching it from a slightly different angle maybe (which I'll go into later once I feel up to it) but it's a huge relief to read those words 'while I'm..... but can't identify....' to the point where I could almost cry with relief. I'm not expressing what I mean very well, but will try to do so in a while. We're on the same page, or very similar pages. I don't have  schizophrenia but in other respects I can relate so much to everything you're feeling. 

I'd not worry about it as the oblique position long term asd people can be in is often totally illogical due to a life pattern that was disrupted. Mines like that. I left school at 12 having hardly taken part in primary education either. Then sociological problems constantly. Could not get jobs & when i did it usually commission only and i mostly exploited. Years rolled by, but i did take a great interest in self study over a large range of science & philosophy subjects. And i do research to an acceptable level, much of which goes to schools & colleges and is listened to by them, has been for 15 years and they know my material. So i also learned tp compose to the level of scientific paper, and that isn't easy as they must flow with professional level. That takes a lot of editing for someone like me who will post stuff littered with mistakes. But none of its work or paid, it only gives me a way not to waste all that work i did with learning. And i'm as nowhere in life as i always was actually. I'm only typical of some life long asperger people who turn to deep study & won't get any recognition even after 40 years of bone fide study & in my case lots of public output. Thats the way it goes. Others might have turned life around with that will to study should they have done it in the official way. I found i just could not go down that route where the choice of using isolation was an impaired form of choice in itself. Furthermore the most extreme challenges i'd encounter socially, were in fact during these past 20 years. This probably means then that i'd never have been able to work in a formal environment had i gone there. I hope that the current state of support evolution help others with that should they be similar. Say if a 25 - 30 year old finds themselves gripped by the desire to study & they are able to be supported through adult education & theres someone who can be around to smooth over the bumps. Missing out on school due being abused there is a life long impairment in itself. I found myself in a position where a desperate education (a deputy head )  had been stealing the school funds & wanted to pin it on some boys. I'd just moved to the area & was hanging out with a boy from the same street at that school. I didn't know that he and another boy had a bad reputation, and to me they were a supportive aspect of a school i'd just joined basically. But this head earmarked them for the scapegoating & i came with that group now, blissfully unaware they'd be targeted as they were delinquent, perhaps easy prey. So we are being called in to the mans office and being accused of stealing these funds & being beaten The guy lashed out with a sideways wrestler type  kick and broke my leg & i never return to school ever again! Another teacher grassed him eventually and he was tried & went to prison about the school fund theft.  If you get a bad start in life & are also aspergers its not easy to get out of the entanglement such complications cause. I was also adopted at 3 weeks of age so that sense of alienation doesn't help either. My real mother was a POW under the japanese and though liberated back to safety in england gradually lost her mind.  

I'm in the same boat as you. 

Stress is my Kryptonite, too. Plus, I was diagnosed Schizoaffective/comorbid as well.

It's usually Parents or carers who ask the questions. 

With you, buddy.