How did you do in school?

Primary school wasn't too bad, although I did get very anxious at times (to the point of making myself ill) and I felt very uncertain about how to behave at play times.  However, the bullying and exclusion started to creep in during the last year and I can remember hiding in the toilets to cry.  

Secondary school was much worse and, having been brought up to be polite and well spoken, I was, in effect, left without any real defence against bullies whose vocab included swearing for every other word and who seemed determined to big themselves up at my expense.  It was also a very rough comprehensive and I found it quite overwhelming having to change rooms between classes and not have the continuity of the same teacher all the time, as with primary school.  Early sexualisation was also an issue at that school, with virginity openly sneered at.  

I did very well academically though, so my problems were overlooked and my reports indicated "great expectations".  Even this worked against me in the long run though, because I actually believed that I'd also do well at work. 

What really happened was that I couldn't cope with the level of interaction required because, by that point, I was crippled with anxiety and this meant that I angsted over every little thing.  I could do well in accountancy exams (for which others who couldn't were given cramming courses and additional support, as the difficulties were openly acknowledged and understood).  But I couldn't do so well doing presentations, attending meetings or driving to wherever I was supposed to be (for which there was NO help or support because the feeling was that everyone could just do these things with a bit of practice).  So, as usual, I was out of kilter with others and this seemed to attract a more subtilised form of bullying.

So, yeah, a big round of thanks to my rough comprehensive school for preparing me for the "real world" of getting edged out due to being different.  

Primary school wasn't too bad, although I did get very anxious at times (to the point of making myself ill) and I felt very uncertain about how to behave at play times.  However, the bullying and exclusion started to creep in during the last year and I can remember hiding in the toilets to cry.  

Secondary school was much worse and, having been brought up to be polite and well spoken, I was, in effect, left without any real defence against bullies whose vocab included swearing for every other word and who seemed determined to big themselves up at my expense.  It was also a very rough comprehensive and I found it quite overwhelming having to change rooms between classes and not have the continuity of the same teacher all the time, as with primary school.  Early sexualisation was also an issue at that school, with virginity openly sneered at.  

I did very well academically though, so my problems were overlooked and my reports indicated "great expectations".  Even this worked against me in the long run though, because I actually believed that I'd also do well at work. 

What really happened was that I couldn't cope with the level of interaction required because, by that point, I was crippled with anxiety and this meant that I angsted over every little thing.  I could do well in accountancy exams (for which others who couldn't were given cramming courses and additional support, as the difficulties were openly acknowledged and understood).  But I couldn't do so well doing presentations, attending meetings or driving to wherever I was supposed to be (for which there was NO help or support because the feeling was that everyone could just do these things with a bit of practice).  So, as usual, I was out of kilter with others and this seemed to attract a more subtilised form of bullying.

So, yeah, a big round of thanks to my rough comprehensive school for preparing me for the "real world" of getting edged out due to being different.