How and where did you meet your partner?

No, he didn't become my special interest

That's good that you learned this was not the best way to go as I have too.

He has his own fun life with lots of support, and I'm just invisible. Hey ho.

As you said in your previous post though, "He is down to earth, funny, sexy, he is my rock."  This surely means he's committed and loves you?  

Could you also be part of "his fun life" or would that be too draining for you?

aahh cute.

1. He keeps on sticking by me despite the times that I've been a complete shithead. And we understand each other better than anyone else.

2. At school. (very unexciting.)

3. I grew attracted to him, it wasn't instant. He's good looking and not too serious or soppy.

4. We share some special interests. And I also became quite obsessive about it at first.

5. We were together for ~6 months and then just friends for 4 years and then we decided to give it another go.

6. We learnt from our mistakes, that we just need to be completely direct to each other. And we agreed to always give each other space when we ask for it. So communication is very good even though we don't talk that often.

I am very lucky, I was always the ugly, unwanted girl at school who had no boyfriends and no luck. I don't know how I managed to meet a great man, he was only my 2nd boyfriend.

No, he didn't become my special interest. After having a horrific relationship before I met him, I learned not to throw myself into someone's life 100% because I lost myself. I made sure I had my own life separate to him.

However...for the last 16 years I've been stay at home mum with no friends, and lost myself completely, so that was a bit of a mistake wasn't it. He has his own fun life with lots of support, and I'm just invisible. Hey ho.

Did they become your special interest? I don't know what that means.

What I mean by that is like with a special interest you put everything into.  Did he become a human that you put everything into?  My ex husband became my special interest which drove him away from me because the harder I tried, the more he distanced himself which let me to leave as the rejection was too much.

I am delighted that you shared these points as it gives me hope that this type of partnership does and can exist because my experience of men has been "Most lads I knew were into drinking, sleeping around, treating girls like shlt, generally being selfish."

He sounds like what I want and need in a partner but at 45 have not yet found as I don't drink/go to the usual places to socialise and am a single parent so these things make it harder to meet a similar person.  There's no answer as places aren't taking on volunteers at the moment because of covid so I'll just have to be patient.....

1. What do you love and admire about your partner? He is a Good Man. I didn't think there were any like him. He is down to earth, funny, sexy, he is my rock.
2. Where did you meet? He was training to be a nurse for people with learning disabilities at the school where I was volunteering.
3. What attracted you to them? He was a 20 year old lad who could be bothered to spend his time looking after tiny disabled children. Most lads I knew were into drinking, sleeping around, treating girls like shlt, generally being selfish. He was not like that. He was grown up already, they were still immature.
4. Did they become your special interest? I don't know what that means.
5. How long have you been together? 30 years.
6. How is the communication between you? Extremely good. We have misunderstandings but talk it out.

Paul said:

Her patient and loving nature

That is so loving and kind the way you describe her and your connection. Thanks for sharing. I'm feeling really powered up now with all these beautiful stories.

Biker love.  That's great and I'm glad you're evolving as a team. Yaaaas!

GuybrushThreepwood said:

The fact he was actually asking me out only twigged a year or so ago and this all happened mid 2007!

That's so lovely.  I love that he had the confidence to invite you out and that you have been together since.  Yay!

1. Her patient and loving nature
2. In a bar garden
3. She shared a table with us and we got chatting (she was out with her daughter at the time)
4. No it took quite a while before I realized how strong my feelings are (I am not very good at knowing what I feel)
5. 17 years married nearly 14
6. Very good especially now I know I have ASD.

Luckily she doesn't mind that I am not that funny when in conversation which seems to be the thing they say women find most attractive.

1. they werre on a motorbike

2. York England

3. they had a motorbike

4  yes of course

5  over 5 years

6 fine --- still working on it :)

1. Erm this is strangely hard to answer! Or maybe that’s just because we’ve been together so long!  We are definitely on the same wavelength about a lot of things and I seem to be able to tolerate his presence a lot more than other people’s!

2. We met at work but our shifts meant we were only there for an hour or 2 a week at the same time.

3. It grew over time, I knew who he was but didn’t really talk to him at work. On my last Saturday before I went home after finishing uni I forgot to return my locker key (they added security tags to them because there weren’t enough lockers do r one each) so I went back upstairs and my supervisor stopped halfway down the stairs, looked at my other colleague looked back at me  and said “oh I think I forgot something in the warehouse” then my way back out he came running up behind me to invite me to his birthday party. Next day my supervisor asked me if he asked me out I said no he invited me to his birthday drinks, she said no he was asking you out and I said no he invited me out with other people. The fact he was actually asking me out only twigged a year or so ago and this all happened mid 2007! We got on really well that evening and ended up together after a few weeks maybe

4. not really sure I can’t remember that far back in detail! We did play world of Warcraft together every spare minute we got because we lived 30 miles apart for quite some time and I went off it when he moved closer

5. Together since July 2007 and married since sep 2010

6. a lot of the time we’re on the same wavelength about certain things but other times we’re really not. He finds it hard to express when he’s approaching burnouts and I’m absolutely rubbish at spotting emotions unless they’re really obvious. Sitting quietly stewing about things doesn’t register with me at all. I let a lot of things slide as well which most people wouldn’t because he has a lot of struggle with executive dysfunction but also seems to have RSD so I find it easier to keep my annoyances to myself than risk him deciding I’ve implied that I’d be better off without him. Although at the same time it’s incredibly hard for me to manage the entire household cleaning and a lot of the childcare and working a very involved almost full time job!