Published on 12, July, 2020
So, had a long history of anxiety and depression. Lately become very exhausted....I'm prone to "walking" when I can't handle things.
Thought I'd had a breakdown and finally asked for help from my doctor. I was referred to the mental health crisis team. I was assessed on the phone and asked to come in for a face to face.....
I was just expecting to be offered more tablets (never worked) and diagnosed with a personality disorder or schizophrenia....
Halway through, I was asked if it was OK to do a ASD questionnaire.....never heard of it and when asked what it was.....I was abit taken back. Sure, anyway...I scored a high level and will be referred for I don't know what next or how long that takes. I was assured I wasn't mental at the end anyway but now feel in limbo abit.
I'm 41.....I've gone through life trying to convince myself I was normal, and since they've mentioned asd.....I've realised I'm really not.....but that's OK. It kind of makes sense, my life and how I think.
Anyone else in the same boat?
Just borrowed
Lady GaGa says it better!
Roy said:Autism is a very select club, you can’t just join, you have to be born that way.
Stolen.
Indeed - not fitting in and not being able to react/deal with people the same as others. It explains so much for my life and helps me deal with people in the future. I am lucky that I don't have high levels of social anxiety but I am aware of why people don't like me so much because I am often blunt or talk over them without realizing.
Thanks for the reply. The mental health team picked up on it quite quickly and for me, it for a shock but quite a relevation. Things make sense now. 20 odd years of being an outsider and not knowing why, put on medication that messed me up more. Feel abit angry to be honest about that, but like you said.....its not noticed and especially hard when you try to hide it and fit in
That's the limbo isn't it Paul, always knew something wasn't right and tried to fit in.....but.....I can't. People make no sense to me to be honest, but I do have good qualities and a sense of humour, so my look at the positives and move forward and not beat myself up anymore about being "different"
Thanks for the reply Roy, sounds exactly like me. It's a big help that I have an explanation and my wife knows why I act certain ways, can't express emotions well and have crazy hobbies
Good luck. It feels weird finding this out about yourself, but it is a really positive thing to figure out the (probable) reason behind your phases of anxiety/depression/burnout. I was diagnosed very recently and I started the process because of similar mental health reasons that were worse at the time.
The spectrum is much broader than most people realise. A lot of us who are diagnosed in adulthood aren't 'noticeably' autistic in all situations, but that can make the mental health side of it harder to deal with because we're not well understood.
Yep - exactly the same here. No formal diagnosis yet but still processing the fact that I am quite far up the ASD range. It's all good and it is who you are. Maybe you will change how you go about things but all self knowledge is good. Think of ASD as your superpower and you just have to try and harness the best bits to make your life better and minimize the not so good bits
Hi, don’t worry, I’m 54 and at the same stage as you, I did the same test and scored highly, you are not mad, bad or crazy, your brain is just wired slightly differently. I’ve always known that I don’t fit in, or the square peg in the round hole. Over the next few weeks you will start piecing it all together, that gave me a lot of help within myself, the years of wondering and beating yourself up are over. When you start to piece all the things that affect you together, you will wonder why you never thought of it.Autism is a very select club, you can’t just join, you have to be born that way. My wife and sons now know and that has made life a lot easier as we just make slight adjustments in life so I don’t have meltdowns as easily. yes the jumbled, sometimes confusing brain we have is part of us, my thought was that if I have 25 good years left then they are now going to count as I finally know who I am.
I wouldn’t want my autism taken away from me, it’s part of who I am. The only downside is that there is a long waiting list for diagnosis, it can be up to two years. If you can go private , I felt that it was the right choice for me but obviously the choice is yours. Remember you are not dying, you have a condition. Only a few people know that I’m autistic, most said,”I always thought you was” I just wish that I had known earlier!
hope your journey goes well for you.
For sure, gone through my life thinking I was either a mad man or just dropped on the wrong planet and people could sense I either an alien or just nuts, so they gave me a wide berth
Hello, I'd rather be ASD that NT (probably what you mean by normal (NeuroTypical)).
It seems to get a lot of us older diagnosed that way. One day I was mad, the next I was ASD. Haha...