Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't know where else to turn.
Had a therapy appointment yesterday, GP appointment tomorrow. I'm really hurting, but I can't tell anyone. The "S" word has consequences. I just can't say it, I cant cope with what might happen I'f I do.
It's ok, I don't expect any replies, I'm not after attention. I just needed somewhere I could be honest with myself.
Sorry.
*Thank you so much everyone for your kindness, you are all truly amazing people.
Just had a therapy session and next week we are going to meditate over the phone together. And I have to accept all my negative thoughts and really listen to them.
u are now on the same path as me
Yes, Buddhist mindful meditation. We will start by looking at our hands.
It's ok - I'm feeling quite strong lately and I want to see you get better.
I'm so messed up, so confused. Adele I'm sorry, I shouldn't put this on you, that's really not fair.
You're right Adele M, he's very intelligent and highly manipulative. I feeling so vulnerable I completely fell for it.
I don't want to sound mean about your son - but I don't want you to blame yourself either
How was he wanting to be noticed if he was sneaking about and doing things when you weren't there? Sounds like an excuse to me - don't let him blame you for it - explain that you are doing your best and that he needs to take responsibility for his actions.
It doesn't matter aidie
The game was violent. Doll Mutilation 2, and he was only with my sister when he stole. We had a talk, it turns out that he just wanted to be noticed. Basically his mum is a complete waste of space.
What type of inappropriate? Violent or rude - or a bit of both? - probably more curiosity than being naughty. Was he with others when he stole - kids are awful at egging each other on.
Sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to take my laptop and play inappropriate games. Today he was caught by my sister stealing from a shop.
No worries if you don't want to talk
It's not your fault that you feel this way.
Do you want to talk about what he has been doing? It might help - most kids get into trouble at times. You can be vague if you like.
And I just found out that my youngest has been getting into trouble recently because his mother is useless. If I felt low before, it's nothing to how I feel now.
Pikl whats your friends name ?
A friend
That's ok x
Sorry, I misread what you said and thought they said you didn't have to do fun things - just ignore me!
who/what upset u Pikl ?
Hey Adele M. I'm really not interested in trying it all, but that is just me. Probably because I went into the session feeling really upset. X
Distraction is good sometimes though - doesn't always have to be fun - can be a bit of housework or something - the crisis team tell me to distract myself when I'm struggling. I'm glad that people are helping you to process the thoughts in a healthy way though, so that you don't need the distraction.
Yeah - there's that whole metaphor about putting on your own oxygen mask first, before you try to help others.
He said he was also to blame. But words are just words when there's no action. Husband calls me the "lynchpin" but right now I need to take a step back from that role.
its not your day. its time for their dad to help u ( the stealing issue ). Has he been helping ?
I hope that dealing with them will be positive for you! X
Do you mean my art or myself? - or something else? With my art, I'm not doing a lot really. With myself, I'm dealing with some past mistakes - nothing huge - just things that don't fit with my values.
What are you working on at the moment?
I probably should go for an MOT x
I'll stop commenting for now as I bet you want a break from answering me.
Ok. I still think it's worth getting the full blood count done though x
I've recently put on weight as I started eating again
All you need is the full blood count one to start with - it tells them loads.
I reckon you should insist on blood tests - there could be a physical problem causing this - I don't buy into depression causing extreme exhaustion. Have you lost any weight or anything that might indicate a physical issue?
I am really genuinely pleased that you're feeling strong, and I truly hope you keep feeling stronger, you honestly deserve that! I really want to get better, I'm so lost right now. I think I really do need help, I want to have a fulfilling life. To no longer want to end it. I just don't know how. Sorry
I know I talk about my mental illness on here a fair bit - but I've been well for three years now and there's no way I'm trying to come off my meds again, so I shouldn't get ill again.