Published on 12, July, 2020
I think I am on the autism spectrum but I keep hearing/reading that people with autism struggle with understanding nuances in meaning of words or don't understand sarcasm.
As far as I can remember I didn't feel confused with sarcasm and I've learnt the art pretty well that I am known for my caustic humour. I also love poetry and verbal imagery having been an avid reader when I had more time, as a child relied on a very active imagined alternative reality to get through some school situations.
Does that exclude me from being autistic? I'm afraid of going any further if it's all just in my mind.
I understand sarcasm most of the time. In fact, I'm sarcastic a lot myself, and I have explained to someone how for me sarcasm is an extension of seeing things more literally. Because sarcasm often points out how ridiculous a phrase or something someone said is in light of reality. It sees the lack of logic in something or the fact it simply makes no sense and points it out in a funny way. That said, there can be occasions where if someone else has been sarcastic, I need reassurance it was sarcasm. But, I don't think that happens very often, and I think it often depends on the person.
DiQ said: I always put my inadequacies down to my mother being overprotective among other things - the small world thing.
Yep. If I hadn't spent years trying (and failing) with managing depression which I attributed to emotionally absent parents (or one absent and one highly critical) I probably would have dismissed any suggestion of an autism spectrum diagnosis out of hand. It's only when the question was pitched (very well, might I add) by a concerned work colleague that I figured it was something worth exploring. Then came the AQ10 and the mood diary, and the discussion with the GP.
I felt the depression-management strategies I was trying weren't really helping - from a work perspective I was succeeding (going to work, paying my taxes, self-sufficient.. mostly) even though it left me exhausted. In the main "busyness" of life I was functional but outside of that I wasn't managing myself particularly well. Basically I kept my world small outside of work*, nobody asked me about it, and it worked - until something happened which would cause me to loose my footing and go into a spiral.
The report from my final assessment was useful in another way - the response to the observers questionnaire (the person who knew me well) was included. It really helped me to grasp that those things I thought nothing of, were noticeable by them and others. We talked about it afterwards and they were saying it felt they doing me a dis-service as some of the feedback was critical (in a good way) of my general social skills. To me, it was information and insight I'd never had before. Honest, non-judgemental feedback - hugely useful! Who wouldn't want that?
I decided to disclose my diagnosis to the rest of the people I work with. They're a good bunch although there were a few who came back with the "I thought....", "I had an idea that...." - yeh right! Everyone's an expert after the fact.
*it's not like I didn't do anything! I just didn't do anything which required me to get along with people beyond a casual acquaintance.
Thank you for that, @Flint. Yes! I remember distinctly in one of my jobs in the past, my colleagues had a really sharp banter thing going on. Before that, I think I understood sarcasm, but I picked up the skill of actually using it in that job. Now I think about it, it's actually quite a technical thing similar to how you describe it and I think I sometimes overstep the level of acceptable sarcasm without realising or have moved onto talking seriously and I'm still being 'flippant'. And then there are days when I can't even exchange niceties with a neighbour and make sense. All my illusions of being normal are being shattered right here... thank you for sharing.