Autistic teachers- can you advise please?

I’ve accepted you both as friends- now I can’t see how to message. Can this be done on an iPad? 

Thanks for the friend request..... I’m not sure if I’ve accepted or deleted you- it was on the same picture ‘accept/decline,” I can’t see I’ve been added to your friends’ list. I’ll try on a laptop later. 

Hi, I don’t have an office, although they have given me the use of one or if it is in use, a quiet working space away from noise. We all have a coach for performance management. Previously my coach simply met me a few times a year and completed the necessary paperwork- it didn’t add any extra help. Three years ago, I was given my current coach and she’s been brilliant- much more of a mentor. She had helped me quite a bit in the past 2 years (although it was probably clear I had really bad anxiety, I never talked to her about anything else),  and then when Lockdown happened she offered to meet with me every day, always in the morning, sometimes after work or whenever was needed. She’s been my absolute work hero and is probably the reason I’ve not been off sick. I’ve worked with her for 11 years, but only have felt able to be totally honest with her in the last 6 months. I was finding all the change too much and couldn’t methodically plan as I used to. Someone asked her if I had ASC, we had a conversation and she said work would support me if I chose to go for an assessment- that they weren’t pushing me but would support. It will help us both I think. Work have written a statement detailing my strengths and difficulties. Work pay for BUPA for employees so the assessment has been arranged through them. I simply found an assessment centre - the consultant has to be GMC registered and the appointment has to be described as a consultation. I have decided only to disclose to my mentor, Head and Exec Head, so the appointment is simply marked as an assessment with a psychiatric consultant so as the office staff/ whoever deals with the claims side doesn’t know. 

Hi. I've been a teacher for 11 years at the same place, but have only self-diagnosed with autism in the past 6 months, haven't disclosed to my workplace yet and am wondering some of the same things that you are about what might be helpful (or the opposite) if I disclosed or had an official diagnosis. One thing I do have that you might find helpful is my own office (most other teachers share one with up to ten or so other staff), which my workplace kindly gave me after I had a bit of a breakdown. It sounds like your workplace are brilliant - I've never heard of anywhere having a workplace coach except for new staff. 

Can I ask how you got a diagnosis with Bupa? 

bummer

Thanks Aidie.  I can't hover on a mobile device. Will have to do it on laptop tomorrow. 

see  below

I can’t either. I tried to google it but couldn’t find the answer either. 

I can't find "connect". I'll try again at some point but on my laptop

@out_of_step it says to go on your profile and use the connect button, but I can’t see one. If you click on my profile, can you see a connect button? 

I can’t find it either! I’ll have a look. When I couldn’t find the reply button, I was on my phone. I can find it on my iPad tho. I’ll try to add you as a friend. 

refesh ur screen 2/3 times

For some reason I cannot find a reply button.  NAS70583 I am in the NW too. If you like you can add me as a friend.  I couldn't find how to do it myself.

I think at mine too, the expectation is you are always developing and aiming for outstanding in all that you do. My employer is good at taking on board staff feedback and the amount of reporting home and marking has been massively reduced the past few years, although I teach a core subject and it’s still heavy. 

I think as well, we have a number of new staff who don’t know me and this has caused some difficulties- mainly due probably to my communication and difficulties in working with new people. This has been another reason to move forward. Like you say, I’m okay where everyone knows me but this will change over time. 

I was offered counselling at work, but for me a lot of my difficulties centre around not being able to articulate me difficulties and not being able to ask for support. I don’t actually think it would have helped because the difficulties I have are, I think, as a result of autism. For example, they can’t remove change, and so how would counselling help? 

In response to other areas of my life....I’ve a couple of close friends- one from school - and another I started with 22 years ago at my school- but have never enjoyed socialising outside my few friends and even then I’d prefer to be at home. I find any social gatherings difficult- I never know what to talk about and just want the experience to end. 

People tell me I’m blunt and rude.....my sister in law needed a long time to learn to like me. I was simply honest.....but said things maybe others wouldn’t. I need to have complete control over most aspects of my life and other’s lives. I find not getting my own way very hard. I absolutely need to have the same routine every day. Any deviation really upsets me for the entire day. I don’t have severe sensory issues but they do hinder me....I can’t wear long sleeves, can only use plastic spoons, can’t stand noise, can’t stand certain textures or foods, but largely I can choose and can control these myself. In work, accommodations mean I’m largely okay too. I also think I’ve got ADHD. I drive others mad- I can’t sit down and relax and am always on the go. The only way I can describe it is like there are 20 tabs open simultaneously in my brain. I have lots of difficulties that  I’ve never really understood, but have recently realised I have v poor executive functioning.....loads of things- am obviously fairly intelligent but could only locate France and Italy on a map of Europe, can’t follow simple directions without getting lost..,can’t make eye contact other than with family or sometimes friends, laugh at lots of things others find really inappropriate....the list goes on..... 

I’m new on here and not sure how it all works, but think you can friend request if you want to send me one. Are you from the North? I’m Northwest. 

That's  quite a lot of change...I'm quite lucky really it's not been massive changes at work cos of lockdown...but it has been difficuot....I've been able to cope quite well but I think it might be a bit different in January. 

I too want to deliver the best I can but have realised that "ok" will do for most of the time. Ive realised that looking after my mental health is the most important thing. Most of my obs have been outstanding. I really like where i work but there's always that tension of while it's a supportive atmosphere, it can be quite frustrating in terms of expectations and amount of paperwork.

I can get easily overwhelmed with stuff. I'm trying more to take a step back from things and just take my time with it all. 

If lockdown hadnt have happened, there might have been another point somewhere along the line of life where it might have prompted you for assessment...i think it's good to know,  especially if you have worked in the same place for a long time. Eg in another place of work, you might not get the same level of support and just left to fend for yourself...difficulties might become more apparent.

For me, there are several reasons which have prompted me for diagnosis. 1. It's been on my mind for some years and while there are some things I don't identify with, there's plenty I do.  2. I tried counselling in summer but struggled (this could be to do with the person I had rather than myself but I found it difficult to talk about things). 3. Not sure about starting a family...my expectation is I would find the sensory aspect of pregnancy and motherhood difficult but I realise this is an unknown   4. There's a chance to get some additional hours in another dept at work...different people...different types of students. ..I'm expecting certain things to be difficult knowing what I know about myself 5. To have answers to things I have found difficult through life.

Sorry it's digressing ftom your original post but..are there other areas of your life where you can recognise difficulties? 

I first went to my GP and was told it'd be at least 12 months, so booked a private assessment which is in a few weeks. 

We are all assigned a coach/ performance manager- most are to simply oversee performance management. When I asked why they were prepared to give so much time and help to me, that’s what they said - they value me. I don’t know anyone else at work who’s autistic- it doesn’t really bother me because I’m accepted and although I don’t have any friends there I get on with everyone. My coach is the closest I have to a friend there. I’m different but I’m accepted and treated the same as anyone else. 

Lockdown  was difficult in that I had to work often into the early hours- I can’t work when the children are awake. But that was compensated for by the not having to face a building full of people every day. In many ways, I really enjoyed lockdown. 

I’ve always worked incredibly hard, been very driven and focused. I often spend hours planning ,marking  and revisiting lessons to ensure they’re perfect. I take a lot of time over everything I do- I want it to be the best I can deliver to the kids. To do this I had my own rigorous systems and routines that suited me and that I followed religiously. The new term has meant that many of my routines have had to be shelved..... change is everywhere- it might be lining up in a different place to yesterday, joining a meeting where there has been no notice, the sensory overload- many new signs, disinfecting keyboards after every use, huge “self  isolating” signs at desks popping up, being expected to rework plans with no notice, and most of all the sheer volume of information I am expected to understand, digest and act on with little notice. There’s no time to sit and work out what it means- much of it has to be done fairly quickly.  I felt so lost and overwhelmed. Sitting in meetings, coming out and realising I didn’t have the first idea of anything that had been said in the hour. It caused  massive anxiety and I cried quite a lot in the early weeks. My coach always seems to understand how to sort things out without me needing to explain. I couldn’t explain to colleagues, and one particular new colleague asked my coach if I was autistic.....that’s how the conversation started about assessment. My coach said it didn’t matter if I had a diagnosis or not to school- support would remain but that equally if wanted to go own this route, school would fully support me. She also suggested support could be formalised. Currently I don’t know if she is given any time back- I work part time and estimate she spends 45 mins a week 1:1 with me. She’s always on hand to ring/ text and will liaise with others if anything  needs sorting out. However if she’s absent there’s no back up- no one else knows the support she’s given me- not least in my department. One thing I’d like is a back up plan - someone to run through the day with me to ensure I’m clear about everything. 

I don’t think if lockdown wouldn’t have happened I’d have looked towards assessment as my own coping strategies were largely effective. Now I see it more as gaining and understanding both for myself and my employer as how best to support me. What’s prompted you to decide on assessment? Are you going  your GP? I work in a state secondary, but my employer pays for BUPA so am going down this route. 

You're really lucky to have the coach. That's an incredibly lucky thing to have which you wouldn't get in a lot of jobs. It seems you're quite like I am.....they value your work so want to help you and support you to deliver the lessons you do.

I think our head of curriculum recruits similar people....those who are not don't seem to last five minutes. So we are all quite similar which makes for a supportive working environment. I know one other lady who is teaching and she has told me herself she is autistic. For me, lockdown hasn't had much of an impact in the sense of routine etc but I know when I have taken on classes at other centres (and was even moved just for one day from my usual classroom to one which I had taught in many times before at my usual centre) it threw me and I needed time to adjust. I'm grateful that we don't have a common staff room at work and i'm very much in charge of my own environment which helps.

I don't really want a label. it's not what I'm after. But if i get a "yes" at my assessment well...then I have always been autistic. I do feel that I would see a diagnosis as a positive but I overthink so much about everything that might change and it might be the worst thing I do. I just don't know but I'm willing to take the chance.

If you don't mind my asking - what has prompted you to go for an assessment? Are there particular things you have found difficult?

Thanks- I appreciate everyone’s replies. It a shame that, after  building a successful career, the diagnosis didn’t allow you to continue to build on all you had achieved. What do you mean by I will have “gaslighted myself my whole life?” Do you mean as in I’ll have thought I was neurotypcial all my life to now discover I’m neurodiverse? I’m happy with being either, and am prepared for a diagnosis or no diagnosis. It’s taken me years to Rach this point and I’m as  I can be to know the answers. 

Thanks, your reply is really helpful. My employer have said the same- it doesn’t matter to them but they would support me if I decided to be assessed. They’ve paid for it too.  It’s largely come about as a member of staff asked my coach if I was autistic and a few others have asked me....l said if I was autistic it wouldn’t change who I am and left it at that. I think a definite answer would give me peace of mind and mean they could look at others ways to support me.

Currently, the support each day is from my coach. If she’s absent- there’s no back up. This is because I didn’t want anyone else knowing but a diagnosis will ensure a proper plan is written. I’ve decided to tell my coach, the Exec Head - my son is autistic and he helped me get his EHCP- and the Head. I am adamant it goes in my paper file and isn’t stored electronically. No shame, no  other reason than I’m a very private person and am not ready to share.I need answers for myself too.

 I’m sure others know, but they don’t need an official diagnosis. I work with colleagues just like me and sometimes see how other people comment on their behaviour- which can be irritating - luckily I’m well liked and am treated well. I 

In the last 6 months I’ve removed more of the mask than in the last 22 years at the same school. I need the freedom to be me and to be accepted for that. My coach has already told me not to hide who I am and this has felt quite liberating. It also eases the worry- I’ve been called in a few times to see the Exec Head over things I’ve said- always about those who denied my son his EHCP and the lies they told. (his headteacher lied, so I said so).  I would never retract what I said. It was true, but it perhaps put them in an awkward position. They have always both supported and defended me , but again I think giving them this knowledge is also maybe something I own them for their unwavering support.