new to the website

Hi,

I am new to this website. 

I am 34 years old and have asperger.

I am struggling with social interaction.I am good with my topics of interest but I don't know what to say about me.  Is there anybody like me ?

I leaned a lot about emotions through the years but the truth is I dont understand them all as they can be complex so I just acknowledge them and accept it. but I am awkward at friendship. I am better to show in action rather than " expressing myself with emotions" 

I am a caring person and it is part of my job and I learnt the good words for comfort people but when it is new situation with emotions I can still struggle sometimes 

  • Please fill out your profile.


  • Hi,

    Greetings  ~ perhaps choose a user name as those of us with dyslexia and dyscalculia and others find it difficult to identify with numbers and letters, where as fictional name or some such is so much easier. 


    I am new to this website.

    Everybody is new to this website as it goes being that the NAS just updated it at the end of August, but anyway welcome and hope you enjoy yourself and have a good time here.


    I am 34 years old and have asperger.

    I am nearly 50 and have Asperger's' also, although I like to say or write that I am Aspergian myself just as others like to call themselves Aspie.


    I am struggling with social interaction.I am good with my topics of interest but I don't know what to say about me.  Is there anybody like me ?

    Although I struggle with social interaction, communication and imagination myself ~ I can do the topics of interest like you but unlike you I have trouble overdoing the me stuff, so minimising that is my main difficulty. There are though many people who do not know how to relate with others about themself ~ mostly due to lack of experience. So hopefully you can get that here as most of us on the spectrum have had more experience of being dominated and negated for not fitting in socially with those who are neurologically typical, rather than having been facilitated and affirmed as a neurologically divergent individual.


    I leaned a lot about emotions through the years but the truth is I dont understand them all as they can be complex so I just acknowledge them and accept it. but I am awkward at friendship. I am better to show in action rather than " expressing myself with emotions" 

    Well as some find it may just be a case of having their emotional wavelength as being on a different frequency, and relating more with those on the same frequency can better help with their emotional understanding and comprehension. For others of course there may be emotional disassociation on account of trauma, or the condition Alexthymia may be involved where individuals do not have the ability to relate with their or other peoples feelings either in part, or whole.


    I am a caring person and it is part of my job and I learnt the good words for comfort people but when it is new situation with emotions I can still struggle sometimes 

    Believe it or not that is actually quite usual or "Standard Procedure"  regarding new mindset and body settings ~ but most people (i.e., the neurologically typical or NTs) just go along with the flow and hope, where as we (the neurologically divergent or NDs) have to be particularly careful as the autistic or "aspergenic" flow is as stated above on a different frequency or channel to the greater majority of people.

    It often transpires that once we mix more with those like ourselves we are able to finally find the facilitation and affirmation that we need to become physically, mentally and psychically integrated as individuals, involving emotional identification ~ where we learn our emotional language or dialect and start feeling more ourselves as being as we are, rather than as having to be otherwise and elsewhere to fit in with neurotypical ideologies when we can just be ourselves without having to socially camouflage and personally mask so much, or even at all.

    .

    Anyway welcome again and hope you enjoy yourself here with those more like yourself ~ remembering of course that as the expression goes "Once you have met one person on the spectrum; you have met one person on the spectrum!" or words to that effect. Relaxed


  • Done! Thank you for your advice 

  • no worries now we know u r not a bot Slight smile.

    Can you do me a favour and please remove the down vote.  I was being brief because alot of NA12342 numbers are bots/ads/spam and your thread has verb mistakes in its opening text which made me cautious. 

  • Thank you so much Deepthought for your kind message. it the first time I speak with people on the spectrum and I know that I am not alone.I always felt like a wasted gift but now I know that I need to explore the good side that Asperger bring .


  • Thank you so much Deepthought for your kind message.

    I am glad to have been of some service and you are of course entirely welcome.


    it the first time I speak with people on the spectrum and I know that I am not alone.

    Well with this being the first time you have gotten to speak with other people on the spectrum ~ hopefully it will not seem too strange or weird actually being "normal" for a change! Smiley


    I always felt like a wasted gift but now I know that I need to explore the good side that Asperger bring

    More like a wondrous gift for those who appreciate the finer things in life, and aside from the negatives it is definitely worth exploring the positive aspects that Asperger's Syndrome does bring ~ could not agree more, very well put.

    Have a good one and may it lead to many many more ~ here and elsewhere. Relaxed


  • Thanks for your good words Deepthought.

    I have a question to ask you : For 2 years I have realized some studies and material goal but I realized that my mental health haven't progress that much.

    Have you got any advices regarding setting goals for mental health , and to help reduce stress?

    Hope it makes sense ?


  • Thanks for your good words Deepthought.

    I have a question to ask you : For 2 years I have realized some studies and material goal but I realized that my mental health haven't progress that much.

    Have you got any advices regarding setting goals for mental health , and to help reduce stress?

    Hope it makes sense ?


    Yes your question does make sense, although there a few grammatical errors that personally I really enjoy actually as I like listening to different languages, dialects or accents ~ otherwise known as semantics where words are pronounced differently, i.e., that “You say ‘toe~mar~toe’ and I say ‘toe~may~toe’!” sort of thing.

    Keeping strictly though to the character of that which you wrote ~ your post could otherwise appear with the corrections being ‘italicised’ (slanted) and square [bracketed] as follows:


    Thanks for your [positive] words Deepthought.

    I have a question to ask you : For 2 years I have realised some studies and material [goals] but I realised that my mental health [hasn’t progressed] that much.

    Have you got any [advice] regarding setting goals for mental health, and to help reduce stress?

    Hope [this] makes sense ?


    If that helps any, or maybe just carry on expressing your feelings and thoughts into English words and learning it more as people respond in writing to you perhaps?

    One thing I like to suggest first and foremost in respect of reducing stress, is to learn to use a breathing technique where you imagine that your lungs are in your pelvis, and breath gently, slowly and deeply as if each in-breath is sucking your feet to the floor, and each out-breath is rooting your feet to the earth. When you are walking or running imagine as such that the planet is like a tread-mill rolling under your sucking and rooting feet, in whichever direction you happen to be walking or running in, or even if cycling, as it improves your oxygen intake and stamina. Many sporting types use the exercise / meditation as stress and anxiety produce toxins that not only slows the metabolism, but also interferes with psychological processes.

    It can also be helpful in respect of being on the spectrum and operating in the freeze, hide, flight or fight state of mind (instinctual survival mode) generally involving stress and anxiety ~ to have one or two detox baths a week using Epsom bath Salts ~ to draw out the ‘toxins’ (free radicals) otherwise toxic overload causes aches, pains and general discomfort and increased exhaustion and depression.

    Another classic is that many people do not drink enough water, and being in the freeze, hide, flight or hide state of mind for those on the spectrum can mean entirely forgetting to drink water or even forgetting to eat when stressed.

    There is also a book called ‘The Complete Guide To Asperger’s Syndrome’ by Tony Attwood, which deals with all the developmental stages from pre-adolescence to post-adolescence ~ which can really help one come to terms with the reasons for our neurologically divergent difficulties in neurotypical society, and it gives loads of work arounds and suggestions for problems involving executive planning disorder, time management and being and getting better organised and all that.

    Here follows a complete free-PDF-version link of the book:


    http://www.autismforthvalley.co.uk/files/5314/4595/7798/Attwood-Tony-The-Complete-Guide-to-Aspergers-Syndrome.pdf


    If that helps perhaps?