First assessment - telling a story with 5 objects

I think of it like going for an eye test. I do not feel a failure if I cannot read the bottom line of letters. I don't get embarrassed or upset if i have to tell them that "number one" is more blurry that "number two." They're just using the tools they need to assess what I can see and get the right glasses for me. The autism assessment is doing the same.

Having said that, I do use my imagination as escapism a lot. I've written 1.3 million words of fanfic in the last few years. That's like War and Peace twice. Granted, most of that isn't heavy with plot. And it's taken me a few years to come up with an actual plot for the novel I want to write. So I guess mine just takes longer.

I'm still waiting for my assessment but I'm intrigued to see the infamous frog book. I'm really glad people don't give too much detail about it because I want to see what I come up with, and preparing it in advance would spoil the results.

I think that this type of test is useful for children, who often cannot reliably describe their traits and difficulties, but it is a bit insulting to inflict them on adults, adults with average or above average intellect. Adults can describe their history and 'symptoms' accurately and this should carry far more weight than tests or observation.

Anyone who has taken AQ or RAADS tests can see that many questions are aimed at what are now considered outdated stereotypes of autism and are gender-biased. The same is true of 'testing' for autistic traits, anything that is susceptible to becoming outdated and discredited is not a reliable diagnostic tool.

I would disagree- autism affects our ability to communicate and pick up on social cues. When I first talked to a psychologist she asked me "Does it affect you at work?" And I said no, because I did not then understand the difficulties I had. Then later someone at work started shouting at me about issues I didn't pick up on, and I got uninvited to a staff outing, and I thought about how much of my time I spent reading at lunch or avoiding situations where I had to talk to people. Or the feeling of panic I got when I had to ask to borrow the laminator, for example. But I wasn't able to express any of this at the interview.

When I study things about autism for work or my own interest, I find a lot of it centres on sensory issues, and I think that's because it's the easiest thing to describe.  It's taken me a lot if self-analysis and time to figure out how I relate to my own feelings, and my partner pointing out that I'm displaying signs of stress even when I don't feel it emotionally.  

I also didn't realise that some of the things I experienced were unusual. There was an audio in a module I did here, that was an example of how a restaurant sounded to an autistic person. I thought that was just what a restaurant sounded like.  Now I wonder how it sounds to NTs.

I also struggle with questions that compare my experiences with others. Like "I notice details that others do not." I have no idea because that would involve me having to actually talk to other people about what I notice and find out if they noticed it too.

Communication is SO HARD!  Especially talking about my own feelings and needs. It took me four years to ask for a conversation with my boss that I needed to have, and even then I only managed because I asked in an email to have it. And even then, every time I saw her I felt internal panic and was unable to initiate contact until it had all gone through.

So I would definitely not be a reliable narrator about my struggles. Autism impairs my ability to communicate.  I'm sure I'm not the only person that that's true for- it's right there in the diagnostic criteria. 

It would be very difficult, and probably highly psychologically damaging, to raise children without initiating conversations with them; I have two children. You have difficulties that are outside of my experience, and I was selectively mute as a young child. How can I have had any knowledge of them, except by your telling me? Please stop assuming that other people can divine your experiences and make allowances for them.

Well I guess I'm odd then, because I do struggle, even with close family. Especially with the family I grew up with. 

Please stop making assumptions about other people's abilities based on your own experience. We are all different. 

I never start conversations with strangers, unless forced by circumstances, but it would be odd if that extended to my close family.

In contrast, I don't even mention it because it's difficult for me to start conversations. So I don't have that same history.

I have managed to write this after a lot of research, extensive therapy on the subject, and years of analysis. My point is five years ago I was not able to understand it, let alone articulate it.

The fact that you misunderstood what I said about not talking about noticing things shows that I'm still not expressing myself clearly enough too.

An assessor may not understand all of the above by observation alone, but it's part observation and part questioning, written and verbal. It's a whole process. 

I came into this thread to try to bring some positive thoughts and I don't want to get in an argument so I'm going to step away now.

Glitter said:

I also struggle with questions that compare my experiences with others. Like "I notice details that others do not." I have no idea because that would involve me having to actually talk to other people about what I notice and find out if they noticed it too.

A history of bringing things to the notice of other people in general conversation would be sufficient. I know I often point out things to my wife and children, I have no need to quiz them as to whether they noticed it beforehand, it is obvious by the frequency that I bring things to their attention that I have a tendency to be more observant than they are.

Would a stranger, however clinically qualified, pick up on the difficulties in communication you have described, purely by observation over a few hours? I tend to think not. Plus you have eloquently described your history of communication difficulties, without me being able to see you. I am, of course referring to written as well as verbal descriptions of traits and behavioural history. I am not saying that observation is not useful, just that it should not override, never override, the testimony of the autistic individual about their own autism.

Would a stranger, however clinically qualified, pick up on the difficulties in communication you have described, purely by observation over a few hours? I tend to think not. Plus you have eloquently described your history of communication difficulties, without me being able to see you. I am, of course referring to written as well as verbal descriptions of traits and behavioural history. I am not saying that observation is not useful, just that it should not override, never override, the testimony of the autistic individual about their own autism.