This is not me having a whinge. But does anyone on the forum had or have to deal with the expectation that as they are good at what they do they feel that there is a continued and increasing need to do and provide more and more to suit others.
I sometimes feel that I have just become a high functioning machine rather than human and that the challenging aspects of autism (where I am low functioning) are negated or ignored.
To me, high functioning means that although you're autistic, you can function and pass yourself of as a normal ( whatever normal means?????) person most of the time.
To many people autism is linked with low IQ, learning disabilities, epilepsy, downs syndrome, Cerebral Palsy , looking disabled, bizzare behaviour, and. .....
High functioning means you don't display these classic features.
I got used as a performing monkey for years - totally abused to the point my health was collapsing. I pointed out the behaviours that were damaging me but those involved were too selfish and lazy to change because that would show their own incompetence. Instead, things were swept under the carpet because I was unable to just walk away from it all.
Eventually my health failed completely so that all the hard/impossible decisions were taken out of my hands.
Had the same with plenty of great management and really @&#_@_#&&@___#&#_@__# awful people. (Insert your own appreciate adjectives above)
I've worked in places where the supportive management created an environment where no-one would ever guess I was Asperger's - it wasn't an issue, there was no stress, I could get on and be exceptional.
Things only went wrong when I had bullying management that lied all the time and that's when all my Asperger traits came out - big time.
Unfortunately, those traits made it impossible to be able to fight back and my ability to talk to that manager reduced to just two words shouting in my head. One of those words was OFF.
The commoditisation of autism
Exactly. Same with me. And I have done exceptional things in my current job. Now, though, I'm beginning to get seen as a liability.
I know exactly what you mean. And when my last partner - who was lazy, untidy and demanding - berated me for daring to suggest that my own negative behaviour was in response to hers ('Don't use your condition as an excuse,' she said), I felt the same. Ignored. And diminished as a person.
I currently work two jobs, been offered a third and my OH now suggested that I take on a forth (a business), I also do all the domestic chores and support my son.
OH does not work... but as I have a skill set I seem to find myself as the high performing monkey when in fact I’m an elephant currently receiving support for anxiety and depression - these latter facts seems to have been ignored
In my case, the difference between me being a super-achiever or a barely communicative fool is just the way I am managed.
With caring, helpful management I can do exceptional things - with bullying manipulative management I lose the ability to function and interact with people.
I don't like the terms either, but we seem to be stuck with them. My understanding is that we are 'high-functioning' in comparison to people with autism who also have learning disabilities to a greater or lesser degree: people who need support in all aspects of their daily lives.
But it also, to me, implies a comparison with neurotypicals (i.e. we function well, but not as well as they do).
I think I know what you mean, though. For me, it seems to be the expectation that because I can do many of the important things that NTs can do - hold down a job, drive a car, manage a household budget, operate a computer - I should therefore also be able to understand and respond to things as they do. I should be able to manage certain situations better. But I can't. Part of my current problem, with the bullying at work, is getting my managers - including people who really ought to know better, such a those in the behaviour team - to understand that I can't just let things go over my head, I can't just ignore silly comments, I can't work around people who seem to be going out of their way to make life difficult for me. I had to send the Behaviour Manager a research paper about autism, trauma and PTSD in an effort to help her to understand that 'trauma' to me can be what most people would regard as trivial: that I have a lower threshold for it, and am much more sensitive to it.
I hate this tendency many NTs have to 'normalise' things. Everyone gets bullied. Everyone has tough days. Everyone experiences anxiety. We're in the minority, so we don't have a lot of back-up support, whereas they are in the majority and have each other to confirm that my responses are faulty or inappropriate. I had a colleague the other day tut-tut when a service user covered his ears as an ambulance went screaming past, sirens blaring. 'You'd think he'd have gotten used to it by now,' she said. I had to point out the obvious. He's hypersensitive to loud noises. There is no getting used to it. Another colleague said about another service user, whose daily routine was hugely interrupted, 'He needs to learn that he cannot always do what he wants to do when he expects to do it.' What am I missing here? Who are these people?
If I can't even get understanding, acceptance and appropriate support in an autism facility, what hope is there for any of us?
Sorry... that was a whinge!
I think that the terms high and low.functioning autism are misused so much they are meaningless.
High functioning as I understand it, means we are in the average range.of.intelligence, can speak and to a large extent we.can get on.with our lives. it does.not mean we have super powers or that we don't have problems or don't need help. Being autistic means we are very prone to misunderstandings on both sides of a conversation and may appear very odd to a neurotypical. We have needs to be addresed, can have very confused minds and can be.very sensitive to any form.of stimularion. We may unconsciously stim which is.mistaken for fidgeting, and can get severe.bouts of depression and anxiety.
Is it not time to ditch such labels and be given help appropriate to us as individuals rather than on a general label given to us as a group?
