Autistic or emotionally immature, struggle with my conscience

I've always mentioned it at the job interviews I've had since diagnosis, and it hasn't been a problem.  These have all been care work roles, though, so in some senses my 'insight' can be seen as a positive attribute.

There is another aspect to it, though.  If you don't mention it, you always run the risk of its being found out about at a later stage - and this could easily happen because of a problem at work that is connected to your condition.  Supposing some extra stress led to your having a meltdown - as it did for me at work a few weeks ago?  If that had happened and I hadn't told them about my condition, I could have been in all sorts of trouble.  As it is, I've managed to negotiate some reasonable adjustments.

It's a difficult one.  You don't want to prejudice your chances with a job (though some employers are actually enthusiastic about taking on Aspies, because they know about the many positives: honesty, attention to detail, wanting to get things right, etc).  They aren't allowed to discriminate - but, of course, we know that they do.

Personally, though, I would never feel comfortable about not disclosing my condition at a job interview.

I think I would never ever say anything about ASD at an interview. I think it could only work against me...

I agree. I would only find it helpful when applying for jobs and perhaps mention it at the interview stage or even after once offered a job verbally. They couldn't then withdraw the verbally offer. 

No need to hack that one... I think we already know. I’ll ask the kids to represent in it an emoji! :p

I was diagnosed but haven't told anyone. In fact, I haven't really told anyone anything. And I might just leave it like that. 

I find you've got so much explaining to do when you do say ASD, and ASD is so vague and wide-ranging.

If they can find out how the Brexit negotiations etc. are really going... ;-).

I too once thought I was a HSP (the Elaine Aron description you mention). I had looked into seeing a therapist many years ago and by chance the one I looked up specialised in this as she was HSP herself. I remember reading her blog saying how if she went out for a meal why, oh why, did it have to then turn into a pub crawl when she would have been happy just to go home after the meal? And that she needed time to chill out after the socialising. I would rather not even go out for the meal to start with :)  As it was she wanted a 12 week commitment at £50 per week and I was out of work, yet again so I never pursued it but wonder whether I am barking up the wrong tree with looking for an ASD assessment. I don't have any diagnosis yet but parting words from my mother after an emotional row last year was "you have a problem". Yet, I can imagine if I was diagnosed with ASD ,she would poo poo it as nonsense. I don't suppose I'd bother telling anyone in my family. 

Computer Science.....year 7 coded Flappy Birds last Friday.. all groups on cyber security with hacking challenges this week.. 

I miss when computing was fun.  Now it's all...

But what do you teach children?  Surely you should be learning with them from a 'dult? :-D

Funny you say that.....I got onto early Pink Floyd in the early 80's, Goth in the 90's. I have consistently been seen to be several years younger. I think a lot of ageing is social ageing, though the baby boomers are probably a bit different. 

I'm still a child - and as I get older, I see just how old people are inside. No fun. No idea how to enjoy themselves.

Because of my eternal inner child, my wife has stayed fun and youthful too. We notice how everyone is so miserable. No smiles anywhere. We're off to Disney again in January and we've already booked our character breakfasts.

I am also childish.., which is why I teach children... 

Blank said:

I was also very much aware during primary and secondary school and university that I am at least 10 years behind on everyone else.

Yes.  These are the precise words I've said all through my life.  I cotton on to music, fashions, etc., at least 10 years after they've passed.  I became a punk in the late '80s.  I got into The Smiths in the late '90s.  And people can't believe it when I say I'm 60 next year, because I've maintained a young face and a young outlook.  And I still seem 'young' emotionally.

I consider myself very enotionally immature. Even though I prefer Martian Tom's view, I really am and don't seem to catch up either. I was actually told by teachers and friends that I am 'childish'. I was also very much aware during primary and secondary school and university that I am at least 10 years behind on everyone else.

I used to laugh at stupid things during important meetings, things that I found hilarious and other people never understood. I was also told to freeze my face ('please!') in meetings if some hot-shoimportant person said something I thought was utterly stupid. Apparently it showed straight away. I think my boss was very polite for not calling me childish. Though he did say I reacted quite primarily

I also look years younger than my actual age, and don't seem to catch up.

I think it gets regarded as 'emotional immaturity' because it differs so much from the way neurotypicals understand 'emotional maturity.'

For years, I thought I was emotionally immature.  Now, I firmly believe that my emotions developed in a different way - the same as my perceptions and responses have led me to a view of the world which doesn't seem to tally with that of the majority of people I meet.

It doesn't mean I'm wrong.  It means that they simply don't understand.  Because, being in the majority, they don't need to.

Me three.  My father died when I was quite young so I don't really remember what he was like (at least not without child sized rose tinted spectacles) but I'm fairly sure my mother has a similar problem to myself except she always looks to blame something/somebody else for everything.  (Strongly suspected narc.)

Yes, I come from a working class background and was labelled "highly strung" within my family and also by one or two teachers.  I also got called "weird" quite a lot.

I also have a longstanding interest in all things psychological, probably due to my own difficulties, beginning with Claire Weekes' "Self help for your nerves" in the seventies and including the work of Elaine Aron and Susan Cain in later years.  I eventually also trained as a counsellor and throughout my training nobody even so much as mentioned the possibility of me being autistic.  They actually thought of me as a very good, if somewhat academic, group member.  

Problems have accrued over the years, though.  Issues at work and at home and major difficulties coping with a wide variety of tasks such as driving or speaking in front of even quite small groups.  I also got made redundant 3 times, once being told that I "keep myself to myself" which is not seen as terribly helpful in the workplace. 

Anyway, last month I got a definite diagnosis of autism.  I queried it.  What about this what about that?  But I only did this so's i could know I am finally on solid ground as regards my traits, my strengths and difficulties.  And also so's I could finally make some sense of issues that have been in my family for generations.

So far, though, I've only told my mother.  It's quite a big deal as i come from a large family with lots of aunts, uncles and cousins, some of whom have clearly also struggled over the years.  I'm taking my time as I expect major ripples to radiate out when I do decide to tell them all. 

Definitely worth doing though.  To me it's a matter of identity - not just my own but my family's too

Thanks, there is some benefit to knowing I am not alone. I do think it’s all about perspective and making allowances for everyone, Easier said.

Being highly strung? Neurotic? Taking things too seriously? 

Yep. 

I got slammed by family for being self involved and the like too. And as far as the school went, maladjusted. At worst, a bit crazy. 

Great!