Published on 12, July, 2020
I work in IT support in a relatively senior position and my current role is based at a company that has a culture of mismanagement and blame, where certain incompetent managers have coasted along for a long time while the "minions" with a good work ethic pick up the pieces and make sure projects / services / fixes are delivered.Certain others are quite abrasive and like to throw their weight around but don't like it when challenged and will bully / attempt to force out those that do - all of which said management are blissfully unaware of, or just ignore.Recently I was given the role of specialist in relation to some WiFi equipment we provide to a few clients as the previous expert had left the company for similar reasons to why I ended up having a meltdown today.During this project I've had to constantly chase a member of the professional services department that should be managing the following aspects of it:
Add to that the fact that for the last install I did, which was in Birmingham, no-one had booked a vehicle so I had to contact a manager who requisitioned me one, only for that to be taken back by this member of prof. services who then forced me to drive a Transit van rather than give up the company Mercedes when I was the only person going and had no cargo.This to me makes very little sense, I find it likely that he clawed it back just because he wanted a comfy ride. The other two members of staff he was going with were taking another smaller van but if they've used the Transit all passengers along with cargo would have been transported efficiently.Instead they give me a massive van I have no experience driving which ends up getting scratched as I have to navigate multi-story car parks in it.More recently I'd been assigned a job elsewhere to install and configure their Wi-Fi solution but as usual the company assigned me a bunch of other things to do which supposedly took priority, the other things turned out to be way more complex to complete and so a solution wasn't found for over a week and involved senior development staff.A colleague and I booked two appointments to sit down and plan the installation but because of the unexpected and complex issues with my initial task we simply didn't have time.So now issues have arisen with the installation and now according to my line manager my competence has been called into question by my department manager, who has instructed my line manager to now manage a this project.This morning in the kitchen at work a member of staff asked me how I was, which sent me off on a rant. Halfway though my department manager walks into the kitchen [apparently looking for tea bags], which I perceive as an attempt to covertly monitor my rant so I let rip on him and became quite shouty and intense to a point where he apparently thought I was going to punch him.I'm just tired of all the backstabbling, pointless politics, the air of superiority that certain managers [including him] give off.Basically things have been building up for the past month or two because I've been placed in an environment of absolute chaos and have been expected to deliver perfection, plus my dept manager insists on professional standards and yet behaves like a petulant child in certain scenarios.I think he's an Aspie himself if I'm honest as I've noticed a number of traits included a complete lack of awareness of how his behavior destroys others' morale and have informed him of this to his face.I spent an hour and a half in a non-formal meeting basically telling him everything that's bothering me and he stated that I can't hide behind my condition and that I can't pull that card.At the same time he apparently wants a happy work environment but is completely unaware of the fact that it's currently toxic to a point where a significant number of people have left or want to leave in the near future. I told him to go speak to the rest of my team and answer the question "why does half the helpdesk want to leave?"It's a bit odd in that he presents ASC traits and yet subscribes to the view that behavioral issues such as mine are made up and are just a meaningless label.I challenged him on what he knows about my condition - he knows only what he's briefly read a few paragraphs on from this site.The guy seriously annoys me - sometimes he's amiable and you think he's alright and the next time he'll be dismissive, condescending or petulant so then I think why do I even bother.I went home for the afternoon and we're having a meeting next Tuesday morning to discuss my future. Initially I was going to leave but after discussing it at length with my missus I've decided to try private counselling / CBT (I had a bad experience with a NHS recommend counselor, who just wound me up because she didn't seem to offer anything constructive), as long as my department manager agrees to take long hard look at himself as well.New management is starting soon so he'll be gone so I kind of wish I was able to bottle it but he makes me so angry I just couldn't control myself.
Just got a call from my line manager.I've been suspended with full pay until next Monday where a rep from our HR company will be chairing a disciplinary.
From what you've written previously, I had a feeling it would go this way for you. What do you want out of that meeting? You've got a week to think away from the work environment.
Do you think your position is still tenable? Thinking objectively, do you still want to work there (in any form?).
If it were me, purely for the continuous income, I'd be apologising and kissing as much butt as possible to keep the job in the short term while spending every waking moment planning to get out into something better.
What's the job availability like in your profession?
If I'm honest I'm not sure I want to go back, just being there today made me angry and defensive.My line manager has explained that he pushed for the process to be followed so that the company learns from it and hopefully does something positive but it could end either with them attempting to accommodate me or pushing me out and just carrying on as normal. There's new management starting soon so there's a good possibility things will change but I'm not sure being in the middle of that is going to be good for my head.In any case my relationship with the current dept manager is probably dead, although my line manager told me that he's not happy with the situation and feels bad about it.Well it's all very well feeling bad about it now after you contributed toward the toxic environment that's driven me to meltdown.Job availability is pretty decent in my sector.
I already started the process of looking before this happened.
Is it not worth promising to play nice just to see what they'll do for you? Try getting them to reduce your workload temporarily - just to delay anything they're thinking of doing to you and giving you some control over timings while you look to get out. It's amazing how much time you can waste being as useless as everyone else to buy yourself thinking time.