Published on 12, July, 2020
How do you guys go about turning down parties? I can't deal with big social events at all and avoid them like the plague for a variety of reasons (anxious amongst lots of people, will not dress up for going out, hardly like any food so meals are a problem, noise, can't deal with all the conversations). I don't really like to explain this to people especially as I'm not diagnosed so I can't even give that as a reason. I usually go with distance or money. There is a party being organised for work at the moment and several people are trying to persuade me to go. I find these conversations very difficult and they keep coming up with solutions to my reasons for not going. How would other people deal with this?
I'm sometimes OK with parties for a limited time but then usually either get stressed, overwhelmed or bored (or a combination of all 3) In the past I've always got around this by having something important to get up for early the following morning as an excuse for leaving early. If you explain this when you get there then its generally more acceptable to the NTs. I have just disappeared from social events in the past but I don't like doing it as I always worry about it afterwards. Since being diagnosed 7 months ago I've not been invited to any parties anyway, but I haven't 'come out' as an aspie yet anyway except too a select few so not sure if I'd tell people the truth or not at the mo, but probably not as most people don't seem to get it anyway.
The anxiety that would be involved with going just would not be worth it. Even for a short time. I tend to assume people won't get it if I'm truthful. I may be being harsh but I tried to explain this to a friend for her 30th (which I did go to for about an hour as I felt it was right to go for a birthday and it wasn't a huge party) but she just replied "well how can you not like going to a bar". I don't find people understand my quirks. They just think it's odd.