Does anyone else have issues with tidying up and cleaning? I don't actually have a diagnosis but have strong traits of autism and probably some of adhd too. I find things like tidying, cleaning, doing the dishes etc incredibly difficult. It probably comes across as laziness but I quite literally cannot face doing these jobs and usually let them build up far too much so it's an absolute mission when I do do them. Does anyone else have this issue? And can anyone shed any light on why I find this so difficult or if there is anything I can do to make it easier?
Absolutely. It's a massive thing for me.I don't tend to notice the mess at all consciously, so the starting point is for someone to point it out and tell me I need to fix it.I find it easiest to physically do the task when I completely zone out my brain (e.g. by putting loud music on) and do it more or less on autopilot.Mostly my other half does the tidying at home, it's work where it becomes more of an issue.
I do tune it out to it once I'm in. But once it gets to a certain level of untidiness I find myself walking in and think ergh place is a disgrace but I just can't find the motivation to do anything about it. I find it gets me down though. I often feel better once it's tidy but seem to have a huge mental block on getting there. Don't think it helps that I live alone and hate having people round so it's rare anyone else sees it.
I am very untidy myself. And part of this I am sure is getting so engrossed in what I am doing, I don't notice until it is too late.
A bit like a garden which needs tending regularly. If the gardening is not done, a few weeds appear. They may not be noticed. But very soon, the weeds take over and what was a simple task to keep in check becomes well nigh impossible to sort out without help. And so it is with tidying. Something not put away and it soon becomes a lot of things, to not being able to find anything.
Related to this is my complete inability to be able to find things. And being something of a major hoarder. I am simply incapable of keeping things tidy, do not like to throw things away even if I have not used them for years and years. If I put something away I do not know where I've put it and then more mess is caused looking for it.
Combined with this is another inability of not being able to eat without dropping bits down my front and crumbs on the floor. Things just seem to jump off my plate onto the floor or I drop them or miss my mouth.
My flat is very very untidy I am ashamed to say. Some of this is related to chronic depression. Some more is due to 'not feeling like it' after a days work when I arrive home exhausted. A neurotypical would say the answer is to put things away when finished with. But this is something I appear to be incapable of in the long term.
Glad I'm not the only one, tho I thought keeping things clean and tidy/ordered was an Aspie/autistic trait. I can remember often having a messy bedroom as a kid, my mum perhaps blames herself for not getting me to tidy up. I try and keep up with washing up, I'm quite good at that. Sometimes I find mess frustrating, like clothes spilling out of a wardrobe. Sometimes I've sorted out items for the hospice shop. I think there was a time I would often scrub and clean as I think I feared violence from my then husband if I didn't do it. However there's none of that now. I think some of it is I do have varicose veins, so I find it difficult to stand for any length of time, so I do a bit , then sit, and sometimes I get caried awway by other things whilst sitting.
I definitely have the same problem. It was worse when I was living alone, as I would get in from work and only want to listen to music or watch the TV. I didn't have the energy to spare for much else. And I rarely had visitors, who might have commented on it. But occasionally I would get sick enough of looking at it all to have a big clear out. Ironically, I always knew where to find things when the house was a mess, but after tidying up I couldn't remember so well.
Now I have a family I have to make more effort, but still find it hard to get into a routine. And my children are also extremely untidy, which doesn't help. The best strategy I have is to pick a time when I'm feeling rested and in a pretty good mood, then work on one room a time. Otherwise I get overwhelmed and can't decide what to do first. And I plan tea breaks every hour, because I know that's the limit of my endurance. But I still have some boxes to unpack from when we last moved house (7 years ago), and huge piles of paperwork in odd corners.
Greetings. (As usual, I am uncertain of giving "great" advice to strangers (!), yet here goes...)
That you have posted about it means that it is some sort of concern/bother to you. I suggest allocating a certain time (of day, of two days, or of a week) to "force" yourself to "tidy up" - Dishes specifically in this case, since leaving them makes them harder to "tidy up"!
Think a lot about this time, and try to keep it in mind... even if at that time one cannot do it, try and press oneself and try again... it, like doing homework (!), shall show its own rewards then.
There are many other aspects however... myself as example. Cleaning is very strenuous, and might not be completed "all at once". I enjoy doing dishes, since I get to splash in "water" a lot...! Tidying is harder, since I do not live alone, and I really have no space anymore ( this goes onto Money which is not discussed here). But finally, changing bedsheets is said to give the reward of a very good feeling afterwards, and Sleep is very important.
In short, tidying and cleaning should, as I say, reciprocate the effort put into it.
...Since that has successfully posted (!) I may add more about myself (and anyone who identifies with it, Hmmm?)
My own "Room" does "look like a mess". But the thing here is that I myself know where everything IS, should anyone ask me for "Electrical Cables" or "Books about Gardening", or other varied matters. There is a point-of-view, in that it is not a mess if it is an ORGANISED MESS.
P.S. - ...unless cultivating certain Bacteria, then doing dishes or not cleaning *does* count as "a mess" though and is bad... but this is written from an Aspergers Chemist's point-of-view... which most people do NOT share...!
Distinctive Cynosure said:There is a point-of-view, in that it is not a mess if it is an ORGANISED MESS.
Lol, I share that point of view. I'm a tidy freak but I hoard things. They can end up in an ORGANISED MESS!
Distinctive Cynosure said:this is written from an Aspergers Chemist's point-of-view
I don't know if it's intentional but you really are making me laugh tonight!
If you find out a process or life cycle does it get burned into your brain? It does with me!
Storage of hazardous chemicals is always coming up in my parents house! The life of an Aspergers Chemist can be difficult!
I can't stop cleaning. It irritates me and consumes too much time. OCD is a ***.
Thank you DC, yes my mess is organised mess, I know where it is no matter how deep it may be buried.
as CM said you really put a big smile on my face Lol.
wishing you much happiness and joy, mind the chemicals though, HAZCHEM suit?