Published on 12, July, 2020
My first post and I'm hoping to get some help from you good (and more experienced) people.
I'm due to go to a festival soon which I'm dreading. No, not a music festival, nothing so cool. There'll be a lot of people there and a lot of stalls to see. I'll do as I always do with such events - go very early to be at the head of the queue to get in, whizz round the place at stop speed grabbing anything that interests me and trying not to have to talk to anyone, then exit as fast as possible before it gets any busier and before my panic attack becomes too noticeable.
My tactics are those of a terrified child and I'd like to find some better ways to deal with such situations. Does anyone have any tips or ideas on how to make the event less stressful for myself (and others, come to that)? I should mention that I've tried mindfulness methods and they don't work for me. Any help gratefully received as I'm dreading this event.
You say you know you are going to go into a state of panic at this event. Thus you are preparing yourself to feel that way (i.e. it is a self-fulfilling propecy). I'm not trying to minimise your discomfort at all, but perhaps the thing to do would be to focus on the positive aspects of going to the event. You are going to the festival, so obviously you want to go to it and plan to enjoy it. Try to focus on that particular aspect of attending, rather than the crowds and such. Perhaps if you enjoy yourself enough, you'll never even notice the unpleasant stuff. Sometimes we simply have to accept the bad with the good. On the other hand, if you know you aren't going to enjoy the festival at all, then why are you going to it?
I'm going because I can't not go. It's a compulsion. Hard to understand without a long explanation (and possibly not even then) but I'd be very upset with myself if I didn't go. I had the same thing when meeting Charlie Duke (one of the Apollo moon walkers) and going to see the Soyuz spaceship Tim Peake rode back to Earth in. I'd never have forgiven myself if I didn't. Your advice is helpful, though. I'll focus on what I'll get out of it rather than the pain of actually being there, so thank you.
Just to add something else, stemming from some recent experiences of mine, not only have I started to focus on the benefit I’ll get from the event, as suggested above (it actually works as a great motivator [for me] and it lessens the stress a little), but I have also started to take time to prepare for before, during and after the event. For example (and I’m sure that this will change and adapt over time), but for now, because I love going to coffee shops and drinking cappuccino, whenever I leave my house, I make sure I fit a cappuccino in there somewhere and also take as much time as I need both before and after the event, to process it all and instead of thinking I’m such a failure because it can take me days or weeks to process some things, I now feel proud of myself that I did what I wanted to do despite the fear and slowly, I’m finding these situations less daunting and more inviting. I’m definitely going to get some noise cancelling headphones though as soon as I can and I love wearing dark sunglasses and after reading the comments, I think I’m going to get a hat as well. I already walk around in wellies, come rain or shine, I might as well add something else into the mix and maybe I’ll look so bizarre people might leave me alone but just for good measure, and just because I want to, I’m gonna get the f**k off I’m autistic tshirt as well!! That should do it ;)