Stepping out on my own! - breaking ties rather than keep trying to conform and failing

Being at a juncture is both scary anxiety making and potentially a chance for change for the better which may or may not turn out as you hope, plan, expect but fear of the unknown can stop us making the most of life( guilty). I tried for years to fit In with NT life, family, work, friends and as you said I don’t fit and continue not to fit. Therefore changes to manage that are a good idea. Getting the balance between what we can manage and cutting ourselves off is tricky. The good thing is you said your career is good so you have solid ground and social contact at work. Staying in negative relationships which don’t support you is not good and being on your own is much better than living in ones which are not mutually supportive. So some unhealthy friendships I cut out and although uncomfortable was the right decision. If you can’t be yourself or be yourself without understanding or interest or compassion from the other person you’d probably be happier without them. Some friendships I was the one cut out but I never knew why and it hurt but better that than pretending. Family relationships are tricky for me and are even more so since my mum died because she held us together and also tricky since diagnosis because they don’t want to know and I seem to have less in common with them now.. I’m unresolved about how to deal with that except try to feel less ashamed of who I am. In the end it’s one of those areas where only you can decide but if you ask yourself if you could tolerate how things are indefinitely then you will perhaps find your own answer.. the trouble is we don’t always like the answer because then we have to do something about it. Believe in yourself and be the courageous person you are. I think Pots reply was very good too... keep talking and bouncing ideas until you feel ready to make a decision x

Being at a juncture is both scary anxiety making and potentially a chance for change for the better which may or may not turn out as you hope, plan, expect but fear of the unknown can stop us making the most of life( guilty). I tried for years to fit In with NT life, family, work, friends and as you said I don’t fit and continue not to fit. Therefore changes to manage that are a good idea. Getting the balance between what we can manage and cutting ourselves off is tricky. The good thing is you said your career is good so you have solid ground and social contact at work. Staying in negative relationships which don’t support you is not good and being on your own is much better than living in ones which are not mutually supportive. So some unhealthy friendships I cut out and although uncomfortable was the right decision. If you can’t be yourself or be yourself without understanding or interest or compassion from the other person you’d probably be happier without them. Some friendships I was the one cut out but I never knew why and it hurt but better that than pretending. Family relationships are tricky for me and are even more so since my mum died because she held us together and also tricky since diagnosis because they don’t want to know and I seem to have less in common with them now.. I’m unresolved about how to deal with that except try to feel less ashamed of who I am. In the end it’s one of those areas where only you can decide but if you ask yourself if you could tolerate how things are indefinitely then you will perhaps find your own answer.. the trouble is we don’t always like the answer because then we have to do something about it. Believe in yourself and be the courageous person you are. I think Pots reply was very good too... keep talking and bouncing ideas until you feel ready to make a decision x