Why am I so hard on myself?

I was thinking the other day when I was at yet another low, why am I so hard on myself?

Well, I have had an extremely difficult life. Absent father who worked abroad, youngest child and consequently the butt of all childhood bullying and pranks. abused physically and sexually by my brother who was older by 6 yearsUndiagnosed dyslexia( hard to have had done in the 60's) and so always the 'bad school reports'. Shifted through three schools by the age of 9 through family being moved abroad. Sent to Boarding school and separated from my family, where I was kinda glad to get away from my father.

Beacause of the expensive schooling was blamed for bad education though was diagnosed by a teacher as being at least dyslexic but parents went into denial so no help there but did get abused physically, there and at home. Went to senior boarding school where it was quite brutal at times but still glad to be away from home. Dreaded ever going home to wait for yet another bad report. Got 5 O' levels after being kept back a year but didn't want to stay at school anymore. tried to do A 'levels but couldn't. Didn't know what I wanted to do with myself.

Had lots of failed relationships but was good looking so no probs there getting women, got a job skill which I was good at but couldn't work well with others .Had a career that went up and down, tried to work abroad. Tried my own business, was successful then had a car crash and damaged my spine. Went back into bad depression, tried suicide but survived. Endless bouts with depression ad nauseum and so on and so on. Am now on my own and waiting for yet more surgery, single and lonely but have two dogs.

And with all that I was watching the Jeremy Kyle show and suddenly realised that with all that I have been through in my life, there is no way that I am as sad and pathetic than the couples and families that he gets to go on his shows!!!!!

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