Does this make any sense to anyone?

Guilt is generally a pointless activity but I too experienced a level of guilt after realising that due to the way I process information, I too am much happier in the world with less contact with other people. However, I used that guilt to work through the changes that were happening in my life, for example, going from being a very outward extrovert type person to somebody who spends most of her time alone, at home. Like all situations, this is temporary but what the guilt helped me with, was how much interaction with others I'm comfortable with. I'm a people centred person and if I can't bring love and joy into the lives of others then life is pretty meaningless for me but since my diagnosis last year, I realised that spending so much time with others isn't an option for me due to the way I process information. 

So I have enjoyed more than 15 months of almost complete solitude, feeling more peaceful and more happiness than ever before so my job now, is to work out how to balance having interaction with others and having time by myself. Both are important to me although time alone is crucial to my health, wellbeing and happiness so I am planning my life around this. 

I'm finding it's a process and it can't be rushed. Slowly but surely I'm spending more time out of my house and with other people (more than I have in the last 15 months) but it's still a slow process and a case of trial and error which cannot be rushed. I would love to be back in Bali right now but I won't go anywhere until I have reached the stage where I can once again provide for myself financially in a way that serves me and does not in any way compromise my health, wellbeing and happiness and I can enjoy activities I love without getting worn out. 

I felt very lost for a while until I began to surrender to it/to myself and I started the process of accepting me just as I am instead of the way I would love to be. For example, I would love to be able to be around people and do lots of different things with great ease and fluidity but the truth is, I can't, without getting burnt out, and I am in the process of accepting that. The more I surrender and the more acceptance I gain the less lost I am and the greater direction I gain, but it's a work in progress.

I'm now at the stage of going to my autism group most weeks and we sometimes go out for lunch midweek. I recently started an excellent art group that I found out about during an event put on by the job centre and my next task will be to get back dancing. I've found a dance school that I like the look of and I will join that when I'm ready. I've started to get out of the house more, going for walks and using my car less but all of this is hit and miss for the time being and I won't move on to the next stage (dancing) until I'm more stable in my current stage. 

I'm slowly interacting more with my family and friends but again it's hit and miss. It was my little grandsons birthday last week and going to his party and for something to eat at the pub with close family afterwards was great and very enjoyable (and enlightening in several ways) but it's taken me almost a week to recover from that and it's knocked my (getting there) routine right out. However, I couldn't have done this last year so it's great progress and I focus on that rather than how it upset the rest of my routine. It's a big mindset shift as well as lifestyle shift so I'm just being easy on myself and I'm finding that surrender and acceptance happen in their own sweet time, I can't rush either of them and I can't move on without them. 

Getting the autism diagnosis was life changing for me and due to my autistic traits, the changes are going to take a while for me to process and get used to. I've changed my diet, my profession ~ meaning, like you, I walked away from work altogether and won't work again until I have processed all the new changes and I'm back on solid ground. I like to keep things simple, so for me, after a good long rest period, I'm now concentrating on rebuilding my health and fitness levels which is proving to be a much slower process than my mind would like so I have had to learn to not listen to my mind and instead listen to my body. For me, it's all about surrender, acceptance and allowing the process to happen in its own time. I don't put any demands or time frames on myself and I take each day as it comes. I've bought a big wall planner thing and I put stars and stickers on there if I achieve certain things such as, I meditated or went for a walk or did some yoga ~ these visual reminders help me focus on what I am doing rather than what I'm not doing which is really helping me. I'm not used to such a slow paced life but I'm slowly accepting that this is where I am just now and if I surrender to it and allow it to be as it is then I will be able to avoid future burnouts and I'll be able to create a life which is sustainable for me, keeping this new level of peace and happiness always at the heart of my existence. I will never again compromise this in anyway, I would rather die. Never feel guilty for being happy and at peace. It's an option that's available to everyone and you don't have to feel guilty just because some people don't exercise their right to be happy and at peace. 

Guilt is generally a pointless activity but I too experienced a level of guilt after realising that due to the way I process information, I too am much happier in the world with less contact with other people. However, I used that guilt to work through the changes that were happening in my life, for example, going from being a very outward extrovert type person to somebody who spends most of her time alone, at home. Like all situations, this is temporary but what the guilt helped me with, was how much interaction with others I'm comfortable with. I'm a people centred person and if I can't bring love and joy into the lives of others then life is pretty meaningless for me but since my diagnosis last year, I realised that spending so much time with others isn't an option for me due to the way I process information. 

So I have enjoyed more than 15 months of almost complete solitude, feeling more peaceful and more happiness than ever before so my job now, is to work out how to balance having interaction with others and having time by myself. Both are important to me although time alone is crucial to my health, wellbeing and happiness so I am planning my life around this. 

I'm finding it's a process and it can't be rushed. Slowly but surely I'm spending more time out of my house and with other people (more than I have in the last 15 months) but it's still a slow process and a case of trial and error which cannot be rushed. I would love to be back in Bali right now but I won't go anywhere until I have reached the stage where I can once again provide for myself financially in a way that serves me and does not in any way compromise my health, wellbeing and happiness and I can enjoy activities I love without getting worn out. 

I felt very lost for a while until I began to surrender to it/to myself and I started the process of accepting me just as I am instead of the way I would love to be. For example, I would love to be able to be around people and do lots of different things with great ease and fluidity but the truth is, I can't, without getting burnt out, and I am in the process of accepting that. The more I surrender and the more acceptance I gain the less lost I am and the greater direction I gain, but it's a work in progress.

I'm now at the stage of going to my autism group most weeks and we sometimes go out for lunch midweek. I recently started an excellent art group that I found out about during an event put on by the job centre and my next task will be to get back dancing. I've found a dance school that I like the look of and I will join that when I'm ready. I've started to get out of the house more, going for walks and using my car less but all of this is hit and miss for the time being and I won't move on to the next stage (dancing) until I'm more stable in my current stage. 

I'm slowly interacting more with my family and friends but again it's hit and miss. It was my little grandsons birthday last week and going to his party and for something to eat at the pub with close family afterwards was great and very enjoyable (and enlightening in several ways) but it's taken me almost a week to recover from that and it's knocked my (getting there) routine right out. However, I couldn't have done this last year so it's great progress and I focus on that rather than how it upset the rest of my routine. It's a big mindset shift as well as lifestyle shift so I'm just being easy on myself and I'm finding that surrender and acceptance happen in their own sweet time, I can't rush either of them and I can't move on without them. 

Getting the autism diagnosis was life changing for me and due to my autistic traits, the changes are going to take a while for me to process and get used to. I've changed my diet, my profession ~ meaning, like you, I walked away from work altogether and won't work again until I have processed all the new changes and I'm back on solid ground. I like to keep things simple, so for me, after a good long rest period, I'm now concentrating on rebuilding my health and fitness levels which is proving to be a much slower process than my mind would like so I have had to learn to not listen to my mind and instead listen to my body. For me, it's all about surrender, acceptance and allowing the process to happen in its own time. I don't put any demands or time frames on myself and I take each day as it comes. I've bought a big wall planner thing and I put stars and stickers on there if I achieve certain things such as, I meditated or went for a walk or did some yoga ~ these visual reminders help me focus on what I am doing rather than what I'm not doing which is really helping me. I'm not used to such a slow paced life but I'm slowly accepting that this is where I am just now and if I surrender to it and allow it to be as it is then I will be able to avoid future burnouts and I'll be able to create a life which is sustainable for me, keeping this new level of peace and happiness always at the heart of my existence. I will never again compromise this in anyway, I would rather die. Never feel guilty for being happy and at peace. It's an option that's available to everyone and you don't have to feel guilty just because some people don't exercise their right to be happy and at peace. 

BlueRay, it looks to me that you have found and are still finding the best possible adjustment for your particular make-up and I don't think one can do any more than that. Your case should stand for the right way to live with the condition. Well done.