Nostalgia and obsession with the past

These comments about how old you look made me smile. They refused to serve me  in a pub last year because of my age...I was 38!.....Also on a train journey a couple of years ago a teenage boy thought my partner (who is 5 years younger than me) was my mum.... although there is a possibility that some people are very poor at guessing peolples age. I'm probably not so good at that myself.

I get told I look younger than I am, by about 10 years (in fact the amount younger I appear to look to others seems to be getting greater the older I get - maybe, if I live long enough I'll start looking like a baby?! :P)

I read somewhere that this, looking younger than one's age, is common amongst people on the spectrum too, but I doubt that was anything more than anecdotal.

Although I am 24 years old, I look about 17, and this means that I can get away more with not appearing my age - my parents tell me my voice is young, too. I am a tiny person, very slender and slight, and short in height. I really don't feel my age.

On a similar vein, I would like to bring to your attention a slightly related topic that I have just posted - http://community.autism.org.uk/discussions/health-wellbeing/living-spectrum/advice-sought-aspie-suffering-also-adult-separation-anx

It is kind of relevant in terms of love of routine, dislike of change, and anxiety issues that relate to these. 

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But back to the topic in hand.  I describe myself as a man-child; 35 years old, going on 16!  I am 4 and a half years away from turning 40 and yet I do not feel like I am fast approaching middle age.  I still feel like I am in my youth.

My feelings of still being in my youth and not approaching middle age are further enhanced by the fact that I can afford to do things now (thanks to my job and salary) that I could not afford to do when I was a poor student.  In a sense, I have been doing things that I could not afford to do in my youth.  This further enchances my feelings of being a man-child. 

Personally speaking, I love being a man-child.  I love doing the same kinds of hobbies that I did in my youth (roleplaying games, video games, Doctor Who, etc).  However, I do feel a sense of slight embarrassment of the fact that I moved back in with my parents aged 34 and cannot cope living on my own (adult separation anxiety disorder - see the link above).  What has made me feel less embarrassed and more accepting of my living with my parents in my mid-thirties is the fact that I have a neurological reason for doing so; Autism / Asperger. 

When asked where do I live or similar, I tend to be honest and tell people I live with my parents and then explain to them my Autism, depression and anxiety issues.  I feel less embarrassed and they tend to feel form understanding. 

Hi Hope,

I do not think that my own childhood was that great. But I do find adult life and its responsibilies difficult. I have spent most of my life pretending that 'I am Ok' and 'thing are fine', as admniting that I found things difficult made me look weak. I am 39 and as I get older i realise that many things I thought I would be able to do as an adult I find very difficult. Some things don't seem to have changed since my childhood. I realte to your statement 'I don't feel my age'.

Hope you can find some security in your life that is even better than your childhood.

Hi Hope, 

I know exactly where you're coming from. I too have HFA and OCD and am too live in the past. I am really scared with future responsibilities especially once i'm no longer a teenager. Currently I'm glued to digimon, as I used (and still) love it.

The past is escapism and we don't want to leave but keep getting reminded to leave.

Take care,

urspecial

I am aware that the past was not as golden as my present day imaginings suggest, but I would happily have the past over the present in many ways. For a start, it was definitely better than my life is now - I think this is both subjectively and objectively correct. I lived life as a child, now my life is blunted by my OCD and general anxieties (which are constant and are mentally taxing).

All I think about are summer holidays in Devon, going long walks over the moors with my parents; the sights, sounds and smells were so vivid, and remain vivid in my imagination. Primary school was fun. Even though I had no real friends, was often disruptive, and had obvious signs of AS (which were not picked up on at that stage, although there were concerns), I  was happy. I loved school, I loved learning about things, particularly the human body project in year 6. I wish I was still at school, but those days are over. My present is lacking in comparison, whatever others might tell me to the contrary. I guess I am very lucky in that I at least had a happy childhood, but I don't have a happy present.

I guess, if my childhood had been a happier one, I would live in the past too.

As it is, it's wasn't, and I live more 'in the now'.

I certainly identify with the not feeling one's age thing though.

As a child I was obsessed with Newcastle United. However when I got older and moved in with my partner I got into other obsession's and my partner wasn't football friendly shall we say.

Someone at work offered my a season ticket for the night (at Newcastle) in 2008, so I "suprised" my partner and took her to a football match. She loved it and it all came back for me. We're now both season tickets holders, but for me when I'm in the stadium it is absolute escapism - simpler times if you like. I don't live in the past but things like going to the football remind me of a chilhood "utopia".

My sister lives in the past, and I always wonder if she's on the spectrum.