autistic and be good at small talk and friendly and polite


Because of his total lack of empathy and after 25 years of marriage, I think my partner may have an autism disordre.

He is rather introvert when the conversation goes in a personal direction, never talks about personal things to me and he does not really register the things I say.

Now it feels as he has never registered anything I said (dreams, plans, wishes) in all this years.

When I talk him about a problem, he will come with a solution and sometimes there are no solutions. I cannot quit my job because of a mobbing issue f.i.

But I  never got  comfort or empathy.  And I mean never in all this 25 years.  He would rather leave the room and start shouting.

It seems to me that problems are a lot of stress for him.    For the rest,  he focusses at lot on this job but never talked to me about certain plans, family projects in the future etc.  He just lives form one day to another.  Likes to clean and to put all things in the right place at home.  But is terrible in household administration. (has a degree in economics)

He has a high level sales manager who has not been at home a lot during all this years. 

Sometimes I think that family was a lot of stress and this  way he could get away for it all.  The normal family life with ups and down, children laughing an fighting, crying..

Than on the other hand with other people he is rather social, he is not bad at small talk  at all.  He is key account manager so he has to do a lot of talking.

People say to me, your partner autistic? he is so social!  Impossible.

So the talks a lot but never about himself and when we are together with friends.  I miss depth in the conservations and he often tells the same stories from the past over and over again.

So my question is it possible to be that social and have an autistic disordre  at the same time? At home he is  a very serious guy with little needs or interests and less friendly with this own family than with other friends and people.

Thanks for your reaction


  • So my question is it possible to be that social and have an autistic disordre  at the same time?

    Very much so yes, in that just as there are people on the Lower Functional range of the Social Interaction, Imagination and Communication Triad of Autistic Impairments ~ there are those on the Higher Functional range, as are more usually recognised in cases of Asperger's Syndrome, which involves ~ like autism in general ~ a narrow or singular range of specialised interests. People with A.S. can be very technical and highly detailed indeed regarding their interests ~ to the exclusion of all else in some cases.

    Perhaps then your husband may have Asperger's Syndrome possibly, as in the more socially functional sense involving what is referred to as social camouflaging, or social masking.

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