Published on 12, July, 2020
Other people seem to just be able to open their mouths and everything just comes glibly out and i can't say anything, it just feels fake and i can't find the words and there's no point because nobody will understand what i'm trying to say anyway. Well the last one is a condition of autism (inability to communicate), but the first two are my problem, as clearly everyone here can do this, so i need to learn. Any advice?
Also i don't understand this vocabulary that everyone uses nowadays, validate to me means check something like a hallmark; journey, life is not a journey, that's why they have different words; I said to someone, i need to feel that people feel i'm worth talking to and don't ignore me - they said, you mean validation, i'm like, no, i want to feel they feel i'm worth talking to. Why does everything have to be translated into this new language now and how do you learn it? This is a big problem for me, its ruined every attempt at counselling because i just can't make head nor tail of what they're on about and they won't speak plain english (i finally twigged that's what counselling means, it's a qualification in speaking this new language). It's because i'm old so i need a book to learn this new language, or maybe a website or videos?
Finally, my biggest problem is the insistence of the new language on translating a specific problem (feeling that i'm not worth talking to, for instance, or clamming up when feeling things) into some generic problem category, which i a) wasn't aware existed and b) don't think is my problem, i think my problem is the specific one i named. Is the translation into a generic stuff really what the new language does, is it necessary (eg to tackle a 'negative emotion', you need to discuss all negative emotions, not just your tendency to snap), or is it just a mistake of my understanding? Thanks a lot.
nb another big problem i have is, all my life i've relied on metaphors, which is very autistic: i speak the old language i grew up with in the countryside, where everything is metaphorical ('clamming up' 'clinging on' 'i just freeze' etc) and the new one is very not-concrete, full of words with no concrete meaning, like 'authenticity of feeling' (is this 'deep in your heart'?) or 'inappropriate' (i think this means, 'everyone hisses in disapproval') - is there a way other people who can't comprehend not-concrete language and concepts use to understand this new, more intellectual language? thanks!