Restless- Waiting For Test Results

I agree 100%. I keep remember things in my childhood that make sense now. I'm really into psychology so this is great self exploration for me. I'm so eager to learn more!

I too wish I had know sooner, but I have no regrets. I may have lacked a lot socially as a kid, but I'm glad I focused on my interests rather than troubling myself with trying to fit in. I no doubt escaped a lot of anxiety and depression because of it. 

Love the Fisher Curve....looks like a typical 24hrs - lol

For me it has helped me make sense of myself, and be able to tie in so many loose ends. It has highlighted some things like how people treat me is actually bullying. I have been reading a lot of books as well, and I am looking at sorting out some of my long term issues but knowing my diagnosis and coming at them from a different angle.

Its one of the best things i've done! And I also want to educate people! I think its because I know if I had known when I was younger it would have made a real positive difference to me!

This is a good chart, Daniel. I think I'm still at the stage where I'm not sure what this means for my future. As an artist, I hope to make art to express and share my experiences and perhaps educate others through stories.

I think most of my negative emotions were in fear that I wouldn't get diagnosed.  I think in the weeks between my testing and diagnosis I've experienced a wide range of these emotions already. From anxiety, restlessness, and feeling guilty for seeking out a diagnosis if it wasn't true. Like "how dare I think I'm a special snowflake".  I was afraid of being rejected and told I had wasted my money and time because nothing is wrong with me. I was so close to not going through with it. So glad I did

Hi Han,

I was happy after my diagnosis, but just be aware that after any change, there are different emotional states that can happen as we reflect on what migh have beens etc.

My Dr was happy that being aware of them is the best preparation, and I was amazed how I did feel a variety of emotions as I adjusted to life Post Diagnosis. I was given the chart below which is a good example, called a Fisher Curve

I think the term  I-niverse is very clever. I think it fits me well too. My fictional world is huge in my head, but I'm so private with it. I'd love to make it into a graphic novel, but I struggle with translating it into one story because there are so many characters.

Thanks, Daniel. I have much to process, but overall I think it is good.  I don't I have any disbelief, grief or anger. I'm just relieved that it is over because of all the fretting and overthinking it caused me during the long wait. It's like I've gained something. Or claimed something that is finally mine. 

The doctor went through the papers during the meeting and everything she said fit me well. I told her I don't feel broken, I feel satisfied. Like all the soul seraching I've done during my life has finally led up to this moment. 

Hi Han,

Well done for going through with it,

How do you feel now?

Have you been told about the 7 stages of acceptance after change? (Disbelief, Grief, Anger etc.) I know it sounds cheesy but it realy does happen! And its good to know its not just you!

Hi guys,
I just wanted to come back to this discussion and say that I was diagnosed with ASD. I'd be an Aspie if that were still a correct term. This is quite a relief to finally be done with the testing and waiting. I'll go into more detail later with a new post.
Thanks for the comments so far!

My I-niverse, the word kind of reminds of how isolating - self isolating aka selfish I can be without even trying Han.

I would think you did an initial test by yourself, then a more official test either with your GP, or a member of an Austistic Diagnostic Service (Names vary all over uk) who would then judge you eligable for going forward to a more detailed assessment and potantial diagnosis. The process has many steps as they do not have the budget to fully assess everybody (Sad but true) so they weed out cases that do not fit certain criteria. If you have had the final assessment you would have been deemed as potantially having an ASD, so its just down to the results. Keep your chin up! Yes you are probably overthinking it, but I would predict everyone on the forum who has been in your situation did the same thing! I know I overthink everything!

Thanks, Daniel. That's what I thought, but I wasn't sure. Do you think that the doctor wouldn't even go through the tests if they didn't suspect autism during the first interview? Does the assessment test for other things besides autism? I just don't know what else this could be if not ASD. I'm over thinking this I know. heh! 

The tests look at ASD as a whole, and then you should get told where you sit. They no longer give Aspergers as a diagnosis, as its still a form of Autism, so its a more general Autism Spectrum Dissorder diagnosis. That said, the post assessment support should be tailored at your needs

Hi Hendrow

I am quite surprised how quick the process is going. I've heard some people's assessments can take close to a year or even more. So I'm watching youtube videos of other's diagnosis stories in the mean time. It's like I'm discovering a whole new life that I never knew about! 

What is an I-niverse? If you mean the fictional world that I've been building through art and stories for past 25 + years than absolutely. I have characters with richer personalities than myself! Do you have an I-niverse too?

I am just beginning my journey, I have yet to be tested, I am waiting for a date to begin the assessments. You are way ahead of me. Remember the saying. 'A watched pot, never boils'  Regardless, I have longer than you to wait. Do you have your own 'I-niverse?' 

Thanks for sharing, Daniel. So I guess its okay if I don't show outward ticks/ stims. As a selective mute, I've mastered being a statue. I was swinging my feet under the desk, but I don't think she saw that. And I rubbed my neck some, but I think that's all.

I agree, California. During the interview, I avoided eye contact the whole time! If I looked at her, I thought I'd loose focus and start getting anxious. I really wanted to zone in on those tests. I couldn't tell you what she even looks like! I don't know what color her eyes were or even hair style now. I remember quite a bit about the room though. I kept looking at one of the decorations on the wall. Last time, it was the pattern on the carpet.

So were the tests an assessment for if I had autism specifically, or was it a test to see where I might be on a whole spectrum? For example, was the doctor also testing for Aspergers? I'm still not sure what all the differences are so don't know where I would fall on the spectrum. Thanks guys

Most ASD people struggle with eye contact, and even when there is eye contact it is not prolonged and erratic, so this is something that should be picked up during an assessment

I, usually, do not look in the eyes when listening someone and especially when I am talking myself. Would that be a problem?

If there is not something I like to look at, then I stare randomly.

Hi Han and welcome to the forum.

I received my diagnosis this year after almost a 2 year process ending with the same sit down assessment as you. I had taken my partner along, as they reccomended taking someone who knows me well. I did not realise they were not just assessing my answers, but body language and eye contact as well. Near the end the Dr mentioned my erratic eye contact, and asked me how many air vents were in the floor in the room to which I told him. He asked quite a few things about the room, all of which I had taken in. He had noticed I was not moving my hands a lot and asked me about it, but as part of my work I have taken a presentation skills course, in which I had been told all of my 'ticks' so I had interlinked my fingers to prevent this.

I was sure I was going to be told I was fine, as I have managed for yeas to not let people notice, but to the trained eye it is a lot more obvious.

I am sure you do not need to panic, and whatever the outcome there should be a support system to help or guide you in moving forward!

We all have our fingers crossed! And if you need to vent, thats what the forum is for! Good luck