Published on 12, July, 2020
Since the beginning of 2018 I was diagnosed with High Functioning Aspergers and Attention Deficit Disorder. It is highly likely that by not diagnosing me with ASD / ADD when I was a boy it has been a significant cause of my depression. Since my diagnosis of the ASD and ADD my depression is beginning to lift and the whole of my personality and (idiosyncrasies) has been validated and explained
My parents and brother don't understand ASD / ADD mainly because they have been used to me being who I am for the last 47 years . They seem to choose to not want to know and / or are dismissive of the condition. I've heard things such as "can't you just take pills for your Aspergers" or that the ASD / ADD condition is "an excuse" for my behaviour when things get outside my comfort zone. Fortunatley my fiancee is very understanding and we are having training in have to communicate with each other better (which is sometimes very amusing)!
My adolescent son has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, Anxiety and High Functioning Aspergers (although we are waiting for a full diagnosis for the ASD). My ASD and ADD does allow me to communicate with my son very easily as I know and understand how he communicates.
I am content in myself knowing I have High Functioning Aspergers and Attention Deficit Disorder as it is who I am.
Welcome, I have just been diagnosed in my early 50's. I've had "depression" since age 10 so it's a huge relief to have a formal diagnosis at last. I'm high functioning Aspergers and finally had confirmation of a high IQ despite dropping out during 6th form and never achieving my academic potential. Mum is very relieved and helped contribute to my diagnosis - Dad on the other hand asked what the cure is! I have few friends; some are not surprised at all, acquaintances I've tried to explain ASD to are astonished - apparently I'm too "normal" (we females do mask it well but believe me it's exhausting). I agree it's validating to realise that this is who I am - it's not an excuse for being different, just a fact of life. I'm on my second marriage to someone who also faces challenges with mental health and the most important thing is to be able to be yourself, no apologies or pretences.
Welcome! Your story sounds similar to mine especially the part about your parents attitude to it all!
I had a bit of a "melt down" at New Year (before I was diagnosed) and this is now readily explained by my ASD. We have now explained to our friends why I did what I did. I don't think they understand this but I'm not really bothered about it either!
Hi Andrew,
I'm another one diagnosed in my forties. I think you're quite right that undiagnosed autism and it's consequences are very often a big factor leading to depression. The more I've learned about autism in the three years since my diagnosis, the more certain of that I get.
Disclosing my diagnosis is still a tricky one for me even now, and I think it probably always will be to a certain extent. The most important people in my life have been pretty good about it on the whole, but I've had a few shockers too, and not always from the people I might have expected. I have found, though, that hanging around on forums like this one has helped somewhat; I've found better words to describe it and can to do it in a more light-hearted way when that's appropriate.
With folks I don't know well, I've found it best to tackle it one trait at a time, only discussing what is strictly necessary when a particular autistic trait is obviously causing a problem, without naming autism at all if possible. It can also be useful to remind people sometimes that the occasional concession isn't a purely selfish thing; a few small adjustments can make it easier for you to meet their practical or emotional needs.
Thank you. You too.
Thank you I will. Great to be in a place were others are similar to me.
Welcome!x
Much love <3
Hello Andrew and welcome.
I'm a similar age, diagnosed autistic (AS) a couple of years back, and my mentor also suspects ADD. Not sure how to express it to friends and family. I find only really close friends listen or want to talk about it. I've heard similar autistic parents' experiences to yours in terms of being on the same wavelength as your kids.
Please join in on the forum wherever you feel comfortable. Things seem a bit quieter here than usual.