Could you identify with what is said on these forums and NOT be on the spectrum?

I think that perhaps common themes of alienation, confusion, shame, grief, frustration, isolation, disappointment, disillusionment, the eternal search for meaning, are very human traits that are not exclusive to NDs. And therefore can easily also feel deeply familiar and apply to NTs too, more often perhaps than some NDs may give them credit for.

Lonewarrior said:

I think anyone looking for answers to any kind of problem can make it fit!

i.e. "Confirmation bias". This is a real danger with problems like this. I never thought I was different - too little self-awareness to realise that! How on earth can you really know what it is like in other people's heads? What do you think you are different from? Sometimes I get the sense that NT people are stumbling around in the fog like me, sometimes I feel that I am not that different and I also think that it is not healthy to constantly look for differences when there are still similarities that can be found and worked with.

the academic attainment is only down to books being more forgiving than people and my way of trying to understand the world around me...a result of an over analytic head

Questions are good...but wish sometimes that the answers were more common.

you are right about IQ levels which can also hamper diagnosis or reticence to seek diagnosis... as I gave said in this thread... I have two degrees and a masters, a husband, a son and a full time job...how could I possible be Aspie and why would the NHS fund my diagnosis? 

Thanks Ellie, it is a spectrum and I guess I am / we are mainly talking about ASD in people with average or above IQ and no coexisting learning difficulties, but perhaps I'm wrong on that? I have more questions than answers.

Hey Spotty it is an interesting exploration...

i like your comment re: narrative sense and we are talking about a spectrum after all..

Maybe I was a bit too vague, I didn't mean people just arriving here out of the blue, but assumed that from a long held sense of 'not fitting in' people had begun to search.  It seems like one bit of research has led to another for most of us until we got smacked around the chops with the realisation that ASD is really the only thing that makes our lives make any narrative sense 

I'm sure that every human alive could identify with bits and pieces, it's the amount of it and the constancy/persistance that makes it different to the norm. And I fully accept that nobody is normal. There was something else I was going to say, but I've forgotten it...

And I'm Spartacus!

anyhow...  Spotty has launched an interesting thread but with ASD being such a broad spectrum plus us all carrying our own personal baggage as well as being individuals in our own right does make it difficult to weigh the preverbial pig/cuckoo or elephant  

Hi ele good to hear from you,I am "cuckoo" but I am no bird!

The list of diagnostic criteria I looked through was massive. The guidance was if you can identify with 75%+ of this then thus is highly likely..

who knows I could well be the cuckoo in the room... lol

I think anyone looking for answers to any kind of problem can make it fit!

But having researched on here and still finding subtle little things tells me there is a reason I am the way I am,I am not broken and don't need fixing,it has helped me understand why I do things differently.

I am sure anyone looking on here will maybe find one or two matching signs but that would be all.it is a way of life,just different levels,I cope really well day to day but it exhausts me as I change my character to suit the dynamics of the day,one day labourer worker,the next a foreman,a calming listening ear.A boss who takes no nonesense,a safety critical advisor,myself taking risks but preaching to others not to.

So like some NT's have said to me"oh I do that,so I must be autistic". Focusing on just one thing, Apparently most of my work mates are OCD! If only they knew how severe OCD is? Just checking the door is locked pales in significance. Makes me angry but then they are trying to tell me it ain't that bad.

I agree with Elephant.  I've always been "different" and have often said to my DH that I might be autistic.  I read a couple of books (Laura James and Cynthia Kim) and recognised myself.  I did a couple of the questionnaires and thought nothing of the high scores.  It wasn't until a couple of friends (one of whom diagnoses children with ASD) both asked me if I was on the spectrum that I thought I'd better explore it more.

I would like to get a formal diagnosis, but it's not important right now.  I've got an answer as to why I struggle and why school was difficult. It would have been better if it had been picked up when I was 3, but not much I can do about it.

I did a lot of research and soul searching before I braved joining here and dipping my toe in this online water.

like you said earlier, the reading and researching led to a holy crap, slap me with a brick realisation and things clicked for me and everything seemed to fall into place.

yes I am married, I have a child, I hold down a full time job...I can act and perform like a "normal-ish" puppet....but often get it wrong and crash and burn at the end of the day....or panic internally...

no I have not a formal diagnostic...and there seems little support out there for adults anyhow....I don't think that ASD is just a fashionable badge, it is the realisation that you are different, that life, connection, communication and belonging are a massive challenge...it has meant that some have also sunk into depression along the way, and find it difficult to learn life's rule book and put on that "brave face", that "mask"...and anxiety is everyday