Published on 12, July, 2020
I've been mulling over this for a long time. In the workplace it's expected that the female/female identifying colleagues will take care of the soft skill aspects of being in a team. Team member has a birthday? Well you're expected to arrange flowers, cake, card, gift, lunch, dinner. Male members are not expected to do this kind of work. In my most recent position I have been open about being autistic yet all the time I am aware that the males get away with not giving a damn if it's someone's birthday or what a team member is going through, yet I'm expected to do the work of putting myself out because what? I have secondary sexual characteristics that in their eyes define me as woman/ nurturing/should care. I don't care unless I actually care about the person. It's stupid and unfair that in the NT world we have to survive in I'm expected to make this effort for some stupid sexist notion about what it means to be female.
I hear you. Well then maybe just stop. My boss announced that she was pregnant the other day and I couldn't bring myself to pronounce the word "congratulations". I'm still stressed about it worrying that it was rude and I might lose my job! But she seems like she moved on. They will move on too. If you want the stupid sexist notions to stop then women need to stop accepting or living by them .. I find people appreciate honestly and authenticity a lot.
My boss announced that she was pregnant the other day and I couldn't bring myself to pronounce the word "congratulations".
I once heard a woman describe the point at which you transition into middle age as the moment when your friend says 'I'm pregnant' and you no longer know whether to say 'are you alright' or 'congratulations.'