aggressive behaviour in 4 year old


I am new to this, and any other forums and not sure how it all works. So hello and here goes.

I am a granny and part time carer to my 4 year old grandson who has not actually been diagnosed with autism but is only half a point off being so.

Recently his behaviour has become more and more violent to other close family and we are at a loss as to the best way to deal with it. At present he has only targeted his immediate family, mum,dad, little brother and me. Anything can set it off, usually small things such as his tea not being ready at exactly the time he thinks it should be. He punches, kicks, scratches, pulls hair and bites. It is a controlled action, not done in a frenzy and he almost seems to enjoy hurting us. At present we are just trying to talk to him once he has stopped to try to understand his feelings and to explain that it is unacceptable. He does not want to apologise and doesn't seem to understand that he upsets us by this behaviour. His brother now cringes every time he comes near him.

I would be grateful for any advice anyone may have.


  • I have been in your position and had my arms bitten black and blue

      Is your grandson the kind of child who is amazing out in the countryside where he can run and use up a lot of energy?  Did he do amazing feats of climbing at a very young age?  He might have some abilities that can use up the frustration he feels.  He might even be calmer helping you with your gardening, and really enjoy that, or maybe he is suddenly calmer when he is on a train, but terrible on buses?

    I am sure an expert will help you better than me.

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