Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I'm new to the forum. I hope it's ok to start a new thread on this as I've looked and can't find anything on this particular question. My 11 year old daughter has had to deal with frequent visitors to the house in the last 6 months and she is getting to the stage where she is highly anxious about visitors and refusing to let anyone come in. Is this a common thing? Any advice on how to handle it? My instinct is to respect her limitations but I don't want to get to a situation where no one can visit us. She has not yet been formally diagnosed but has a working diagnosis of HFA with possible personality disorders.
Hi,
Such anxiety could indeed be a common factor. I'm 57, and I still get anxious about visitors, even if I know they're coming. Advance warning can help this - but for me, it remains a question of how best to handle social situations and disruptions to my routines. When I was younger and living at home, I never liked visitors and always kept to my room. Mum and dad were always having to apologise for my 'rudeness'.
Does your daughter have a behaviour therapist appointed to help her? Once she gets a formal diagnosis, such professionals should be available to support her. They could help by suggesting possible coping strategies. Advance knowledge through things like Social Stories (TM) or comic strips might help. These are just random thoughts, though, and others with more experience (I have no children myself) may be able to give you more information.
You can find details on Social Stories and comic strips here:
www.autism.org.uk/.../social-stories-comic-strips.aspx
If you are interested in a book about one family's experience of bringing up an autistic child, I can recommend Susan Senator's 'Making Peace With Autism'. I gather it's pretty much a standard text now for professionals. You can find cheap used copies on Amazon:
www.amazon.co.uk/.../ref=sr_1_1