Published on 12, July, 2020
Good afternoon. I have just started having contact with my son after 26 years (long story). He was diagnosed with Aspergers ten yrs or so ago, I have been told. It is incredibly hard communicating with him, he does not message me unless i send him one first. He will not ask questions when i see him. He will suddenly drift pff and stare into space.. I am at a loss as to how to deal/cope with this. Please dont judge me - I have not had any (known) contact with anyone like this before and I am really struggling to know how to draw him out of himself, if that is even possible..
There is another aspect as well as the socialising and communication problems already mentioned. For a neurotypical person engaging meaningfully with a parent after a 26 year gap would be challenging. For an autistic, it would be an even bigger problem. We have a tendency not to let go of negative feelings and events, your son may well have some resentment and have even more difficulty expressing it to you than a neurotypical with similar feelings would. I know that if I am in the company of someone I have an issue with, even a minor one, I have difficulty making myself look at them.