Autistic traits being labelled as abuse

Has anyone else had to deal with this? I’m at a point where I don’t know where to turn! 

My son has autism and I’m being basically hounded by social services over him. They had one of their doctors write a report about him and it is just filled with utter nonsense. 

He walks on his tiptoes, and they’ve said this is abusive because I was unable to make him stop. Seriously. 

i homeschool him, because mainstream school was not working at all for him, it was a traumatic nightmare and they would not put any supports in place for him. They have demanded he be placed in a school, this doctor said the same. 

His handwriting is awful! I’ve seen studies that say this is very common in autism, yet this doctor has written up that even though she knows he has autism, his writing is because I haven’t made him write rather than because he has autism… 

He is an incredibly fussy eater. Brand loyalty, restricted diet etc. He always has. But in 2016 I developed swallowing difficulties and my diet has become restricted. There is zero overlap in our diets, we do not even eat the same foods and my son has no issues with swallowing. Yet they are blaming his lifelong  (he’s 14) limited diet on me! 

I mean it is beyond a joke at this point. I have never seen anything like this in my life. Every sentence starts with, “I know he has autism, and I know a lot of autistic kids have these issues, BUT-“ Nothing I say goes in at all and I’m totally ignored.  

I really want to hold these people accountable. Does anyone know of a way I can do this without making things worse? 

  • Yeah, I think that homeschool would be a nice environment for any autistic child. The social workers just seem like they want to fix everything about the child to be more NT (no walking on toes, no bad handwriting, no bad eating habits), and they find that letting him just be his authentic autistic self as being "abusive." You have to wonder, what's so bad about any of those things, if those things are common traits of those with autism. Like what's the problem then?

    I don't know if this parent can take such matters to court, but if you need to hold a person accountable for anything, that's probably going to be the place to do it. 

    But if this parent had to (was forced to) send their child to school or risk losing custody of their child, that one option is better than the other, and if this parent had to, that they can find a school that agrees to meet the needs of their child.

  • Hello , I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. You may find some of the following information useful. 

    The following page contains a lot of helpful information about education for a child with an autism: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education 

    This includes information regarding getting extra support for your child in their education setting. 

    You can search for schools that cater for children with an autism spectrum disorder on our Autism Services Directory: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/directory 

    You may want to contact our Education Rights Service who provides information, support and advice on educational provision and entitlements. Please see the following link for further information: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/education-advice-line 

    If you need support with an appeal against a decision about a child or young person’s educational needs, you might want to contact our Educational Tribunal Support Helpline: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/tribunal-support-line 

    I hope this helps.

    Best wishes,

    Anna Mod

  • I understand what you are saying.  But what the law says is that children must be educated, not that they must attend a school. Home schooling is perfectly legal.  I guess the authorities can question whether there is any education going on at home.  Though if they send the poor kid to a school that "cannot meet need" (the phrase used in education circles) then one is rather left to wonder what education he'd actually get in school.  The local authority should either support good quality education at home or provide a school place that "meets need", where he can be happy and progress.

  • Well, things have to be in the best interest of the child, and if he has autism and he has to go to school, then certain accommodations need to be placed to support his needs. If his previous school could not support his needs, then there are other schools who are willing to do so. 

    Their request is for him is to go to school, but if you do not do as requested, the consequence could be that you lose custody of your child. But if he goes to school, at least you are still his parent at the end of the day. However, if you keep him home, you might lose him. 

  • Can anyone in any of the autism charities advocate for you?  Someone has to educate these people.

    This is quite unbelievable!  Poor handwriting, tip toes, fussy eating - Yeah and!?  Unless they somehow think you have munchausen by proxy, why are they digging any further?  They need to stop writing essays to judge you and start doing something concrete to help you to help him.

  • My 9 year old who has a working diagnosis, final diagnosis in progress, was charged for assault at the local police station yesterday.  I had to take him, he didn't understand.  Why, his support worker in mainstream reported and pressed charges as he hit her in school during a time when he was distressed. Mainstream school has been horrific and traumatic for him, they have behaved appallingly too during other issues. Not condoning him lashing out, but it takes a seriously malicious person whose very role is to help children with additional needs to put them through this. I understand your need for people to be held accountable.