Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
First post...
My son is at the end of year 5 and in a mainstream independent boys school that goes up to year 8. He was diagnosed with ASD age 7, which we were not particularly expecting at the time - we were seeing a community paediatrician about his irritable bladder and she mentionned it and referred onto a neuropsychiatry CAMHS service. We have been very lucky that his school, which he has been in since yr1 when we moved to our current home (Oxford), has been very helpful and supportive. We chose the independent school as when we moved into Oxford from elsewhere, we couldn't get a place at a state school that wasn't miles away or in special measures, but I'm pleased we ended up doing it now.
My son is well behaved at school, no challenging behaviours per se but he can get very anxious and scared, and doesn't require much 1:1. He has dyslexia and has a 1:1 1hr spelling focused session per week at the moment but that is all. His main difficulties in terms of school are dyslexia (spelling 2yrs behind), not coping with change, rushing work and not checking, interpreting everything very literally, highly sensitive, emotionally immature. His achievement is okay, overall he is not behind except for in English (spelling and what seems like carelessness seem to be the main issues) and has an above average IQ overall. He has an IEP in school but not an EHCP - realistically his ASD doesn't cause great enough problems at school to warrant that. I think the things which have helped him are it being a small school overall, smaller classes (about 15-18), kind nuturing staff and them being quite flexible.
We need to look for a secondary and/or senior school for him. He could start there in yr7 or yr9 depending on what seems best. Our two potential state comprehensives seem totally unsuitable, they are both HUGE schools with very diverse intake many of whom have much greater social, educational and /or health issues. One has 73% of school with english as an additional language, so I think their resources are stretched. I've visited both and don't think he would cope!
We are basically resigned to keeping him in independent schools as I just can't see him surviving a comprehensive. His neuropsychiatry CAMHS consultant said that a mainstream school that is not highly selective and quite nuturing would be best, and suggested that unless the school is very close then weekly boarding often works very well for her similar patients.
I want to make it clear I recognise that as a family we are incredibly lucky to be able to afford an independent school and many people could never do this.
Just wondered
- How did other people choose a mainstream secondary school for their ASD-offspring ? My other son is younger and neurotypical so no experience at all.
- Anyone had their child at a mainstream boarding school and found it worked?
Really grateful for any advice!
Hi Penguin, I'd be really interested to hear what schools you are considering as I am also in Oxfordshire. My son is in y4 so I'm not looking seriously yet.
I will probably send my son to a state school but I plan to look at private options, more as a fallback. I've wondered about D'Overbroecks as I think the informal atmosphere could suit my son, whereas I think he would hate the more old fashioned private schools. I haven't looked at any schools seriously though.
Personally I would not consider sending my son to boarding school as I feel he needs support from me, I would also worry about him being bullied. He also hates being away from home!
I have spoken to a few teachers and I know some schools do give good support for ASD, but I also hear how short of resources and funding they are.
Good luck with finding the right school anyway.
Hi,
So sorry about horrendously so reply - I got locked out of my account due to caps lock being on accidentally and it took ages to get it all reset!
We have looked at various state options in Oxford that would be possibilities for us given our location - one of these has an ASD base - but I just don't think they will work. They are large, chaotic schools (even when we visited pre covid the corridors felt like a scrum) with huge classes and overstretched resource poor staff. ASD is by definition a spectrum and I think the local options cater not badly for those with moderately severe ASD but less well for those with milder difficulties but reasonable achievement. Aside from his spelling, my son is not 'behind' per se. At present he copes in a 'normal' class all day, with only very minor adaptations like having a fixed time for music lessons, different spelling lists, teachers being aware that his ASD causes x,y,z. However, it is a class of 16 in a small very structured and organised school.
Independent school wise I've taken advice from all sorts of places over the summer. We have on the list
- D'overbroecks - they seem brilliant and have lots of kids with ASD, the downside is they are more relaxed which concerns me re predictability and routine. Having said that they do seem to have managed other kids with ASD positively.
-Bloxham school - lots of positive feedback from various places - we are visiting in a few weeks
- Sibford - very nurturing, small and friendly. Able to be very flexible. Quaker element very evident but not overwhelming. We were put off by lack of options and rather poor academic achievement though, given my son would need to at least flexi board there .
Bradfield college - horrendously expensive but several people including SENCO of a local primary have recommended we look at it, we are doing that later this term.
Also
- Kingham Hill school - very well known for SEN support. Not an option for us because it is very religious.
I think d'overbroecks will be our best option unless anywhere else pops up.
Hello, Would anyone know of any good high schools for Yr 7 near Cardiff, Newport, Chepstow and/ or Gloucester? My son is in a mainstream primary with 1:1 support but I am concerned that the mainstream secondary schools are too huge and they might be different given the big class sizes. Thanks.