Autistic toddler (undiagnosed) doesn't like baby brother

Hi all

I have a 22 month old girl who is showing many early symptoms of ASD. She is on the autism pathway and awaiting an appointment with the Community Paediatric Team. 

I also have a 7 month old baby boy. My daughter showed no/very little interest in him from when he was born. He is now crawling and trying to interact with her. She does not like this at all - sometimes she just removes herself but sometimes she gets upset and takes our hand and leads us to him so that we can move him.

Does anyone have any experience in this area or have any tips that can help her get used to him/bond with him. He adores her and is just desperate to play! 

Thanks

Parents
  • Like our PNT peers, although we have a list of common characteristics, the needs and personalities of autistic individuals are different. As such, I believe you need to observe your daughter to find out what is causing her so much distress she doesn't want to be in that situation.

    I had a PNT mother and an older PNT sister. It is estimated that 1 in 3 autistic individuals suffer from sensory overload and I am one of these individuals. Having a poor understanding of autism my mother and my sister made noise constantly around me, they also used to create adverse smells by wearing perfume, cooking meat etc. I became so overloaded I'd hide under the kitchen table and pull all of the chairs around me to create a barrier form the adverse environment they had created. Later on, when I returned home from school, I used to pull my bedroom draws in front of the door to provide me with a safe space in the house. My mum has started to read more about autism but is really struggling to alter her behaviour to meet us in the middle. Its clear my almost 10-month-old is fabulously autistic like myself. My mother was in the car with her the other day and was either singing at her or talking to her, depsite me asking her to be calmer. My LO became incredibly distressed by this. As soon as Nanni got out of the vehicle and calm was restored my LO reverted back to being an angel.

    In relation to bonding accept your daughter's way of being and provide her with an environment that makes her happy. If she feels safe and secure she is much more likely to want to be involved in family life rather than withdraw. 

Reply
  • Like our PNT peers, although we have a list of common characteristics, the needs and personalities of autistic individuals are different. As such, I believe you need to observe your daughter to find out what is causing her so much distress she doesn't want to be in that situation.

    I had a PNT mother and an older PNT sister. It is estimated that 1 in 3 autistic individuals suffer from sensory overload and I am one of these individuals. Having a poor understanding of autism my mother and my sister made noise constantly around me, they also used to create adverse smells by wearing perfume, cooking meat etc. I became so overloaded I'd hide under the kitchen table and pull all of the chairs around me to create a barrier form the adverse environment they had created. Later on, when I returned home from school, I used to pull my bedroom draws in front of the door to provide me with a safe space in the house. My mum has started to read more about autism but is really struggling to alter her behaviour to meet us in the middle. Its clear my almost 10-month-old is fabulously autistic like myself. My mother was in the car with her the other day and was either singing at her or talking to her, depsite me asking her to be calmer. My LO became incredibly distressed by this. As soon as Nanni got out of the vehicle and calm was restored my LO reverted back to being an angel.

    In relation to bonding accept your daughter's way of being and provide her with an environment that makes her happy. If she feels safe and secure she is much more likely to want to be involved in family life rather than withdraw. 

Children